‘Trainwreck’ doesn’t even cover it, tbh.
Forlorn’s been repressing everything for a decade and a half.
That has a cost.
8 Likes
Can’t wait for Forlon to degrade my MC while slowly falling for them. Be nice to me? No thanks. Treat me like shit? I’m yours 
2 Likes
Hello, Juan. I hope it isn’t too gauche to keep all my feedback in one message.
I noticed two times where the second letters of words were capitalised- nothing major, but you, I presume, would like to know.
“FIne,” you tell her, looking at[…]’
I regretfully do not recall the precise location the second time. I will note this; It was ‘WIng’, somewhere at the section near the end where one flies back to the US.
I must make my feelings of the pathing during the imposed vacation known; while I found the section rather fun, I must say that forcing one to click to one section for two people and then another for two different seems redundant. I would simply remove the middleman.
In total, I am pleased with your work. I will be keeping an eye on this.
4 Likes
I haven’t started the game yet will the powers be different or the same
Same, though you can specialise in different tactics (e.g., favour your ranged stat for blasting, or your melee stat for punching).
1 Like
Yeah, it’s always the same powers, and that’s intentional. You being a traditional Saiyan-esque frontline fighter while Latooni is more of a Spec-Ops/logistical support soldier are a pretty crucial portion of the story.
You’ll… see why, eventually.
7 Likes
Hello! 
I know we talked a few days ago, but I just wanted to confirm that I’m still working pretty hard on everything. My writing has slowed a little since I’ve started an internship at a local law firm, so I am… very tired most days, to say the least, but I take what few moments I can to draft out scenes and organize the order of events that are coming.
…Plus, I take what bouts of inspiration I get to work on the bits of the scenes that I have most defined in my mind. I have a few of those finished, so I thought to share some small snippets of them with you, hopefully you like them.
A Mother's Love
“Did you really- For the love of god,” Elizabeth sighs, frowning at her glass. “Come now, child-”
She jumps out of her seat before the sentence can be finished.
“Laura! My name is Laura!” she exclaims, frustration and anger mixed into her voice. “Laura! Laura!” she repeats as you notice the energy radiating off her balled hands, hot enough that the table is giving way and beginning to melt.
“It’s my name!” she cries, voice half-cracking. "You gave it to me, so use it! Use it!"
Silence conquers the room as you hear Ignis reduced to begging for the first time.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, girl,” her mother scowls. “Stop embarrassing yourself.”
Pugno, ergo, sum.
That’s it. Yes, again, again! More blows, more attacks, see her reel! You deliver a kick that demands a grin out of you as her bones crunch.
But she breathes still, the beast is not slain yet! Burn more, burn faster, she must be fought off!
You have to give up even more!
So you do, with all the glee of one who has tasted heaven and knows the world cannot keep up. You become faster, your muscles bulge, and your barrage becomes unstoppable. You punch and kick and gouge and demand blood, getting your due from her face, her stomach, her arms, or even her legs. You break her down limb by limb, branch by branch, until a chance comes, until an opening, until something breaks, and-
There! Her arm slackens, and you deliver an upward kick that sends her sliding backwards and exposes her neck.
‘She’s ours!’ Other You roars, and finally you see your movements in-sync, as his apparition and your real body move in unison, rushing forth with a balled fist to deliver the blow that’ll end it all.
You make one final sacrifice, easier than all the rest, and even unintentionally you hear the howl leave your mouth, knowing the victory and the kill are yours. Your fist is almost a blur even to yourself, closing the distance at a speed unmatched that-
-That comes to a grinding halt, as your fist meets an open palm that does not even shake at the coalition.
A low laughter reaches your ears, as her gaze rises to meet yours, and you see her golden gaze burn with desire.
“What sharp fangs, tiger cub!” she exclaims, smiling at you with bright teeth that you knew to not be there a second ago. “Were you not claimed, rest assured that you would be blessed. I pray you die proud!”
Then your fist and wrist bend the wrong way so quickly that you do not register the need to scream.
"What am I to do with all this love still unspent?"
There is little more to say after that. The car moves silently through the night, the city lights and nightly ads failing to distract from the oppressive weight which has now claimed the inside of the vehicle. All that’s left is the choice to continue ignoring each other, as Seeker drives and Ignis stares out the window, refusing to face him.
It’s bothersome and unwieldy. The only sounds come from the engine and the clang of objects carried in the trunk, and even despite the monotony of it all, they cannot shut off their minds. Words replay and replay in their minds, trying to find victory in an argument without winners. The swordsman looks up at the red light as he brings the car to a slow halt, trying in vain once more after three years of failure to shut himself off.
But he cannot.
“I thought I beat the stupid out of you years ago,” says an angelic voice, and the strongest man on the planet flinches like a caught child. His heart meets his stomach, his body grows cold, and his grip on the steering wheel slackens and tightens.
His gaze rises to the rear-view mirror, where he stares into the armor to a war already won, at hair the color of the sun, at the sword fitting so more easily when at the back of its true owner, at the ring around her neck that he forged himself, at the crackling, sapphire-blue eyes that he sees every time he closes his, and…
And he looks at the one who’s laid eternal claim to his soul.
“Hey,” smiles Victoria Daimon. “Miss me?”
*choice
#“You’re not real.”
#“Oh, God, not again.”
#“Yeah. I do.”
In the meantime, work on Chapter 6 continues. I have a few other snippets worked out, so if you guys enjoy these, I’ll try to post a few more over the weekend! 
20 Likes
Is the last one from Seeker’s pov?
CONGRATULATIONS!!! (this is a PAID internship, right?)
Can’t be, he’s mentioned in the third person in the first paragraph.
3 Likes
Hahaha.
Hahahahahahahahahahahah.
Ah. :c
Yes, that’s Seeker… getting ‘visited’ by Victoria.
6 Likes
Sir/Madam, your time machine appears to be off by 20 years or so, you might want to recalibrate it.
1 Like
This game should be called A Tale of Seeker instead of ATOH, wtf is the mc even around for? This mc is worse than Yamcha
13 Likes
10/10 very original. Never heard that before.
10 Likes
JJK: Gojo is the strongest. Yuji is not the strongest. Yuji is the MC
Dragon ball: Zeno is the strongest. Goku is not the strongest. Goku is the MC.
One Piece: Luffy is not the strongest in his verse, and he is still the MC.
It is not the strength that makes the main character. It’s the moments in which they shine. The consequences of their actions. IMO, the main character in this book has had more “MC moments” than any other character in ATOH.
4 Likes
If I were to try to romance Ignis, will she reciprocate or is MC gonna get the double wide cuck surprise by Seeker 
6 Likes
I never understood that eagerness to be the strongest of the group. I mean, for a person who has just started in the superhero world, the normal thing is to grow slowly, so that, within a period of time, we can look at our origins and see our development. I don’t mind being the strongest as long as we can at least defend ourselves, and be considered a force to be reckoned with, like Piccolo in Dragon Ball or Yuji in Jjk.
I also don’t understand the general hatred that Seeker has gotten. Literally that man (along with the other league members) took you under his wing, gave you resources and even taught you how to use your unstable abilities, when he could have just taken you to prison. I like him, he’s like the typical teacher who would defend you in a life or death situation, but I guess that’s just my opinion.
7 Likes
There is no cucking. I’m assuming you heard of the game through the subreddit. You can get into a relationship with Ignis, she will eventually break up with you and then get together with Seeker. A situation which has been stressed to take place when you are no longer in a relationship with her so there should be no problems there. The author has stated we can have a variety of responses to this situation, one of which being anger at them both.
4 Likes
I have always considered unpaid internships to be barbaric concepts. My condolences! :c
On another note - I honestly think the whole Ignis romance business is rather refreshing. Not always do relationships work out, and it is rather interesting to be part of one that does not (in fantasy, at least!) Moreover, having a choice as to how to react to it (including badly!) is a marvellous roleplaying opportunity.
7 Likes
It’s one of the things that got me interested in the story, it’s a different take than pretty much any other story does it, which is very interesting considering we’d be spending a lot of time in close proximity with both characters after the fact which just leads to a hell of a lot of possibilites for a dynamic
3 Likes
A lot of readers (especially of stories involving superheroes and their ilk) is looking primarily for power fantasy. They’re not interested in reading about being/feeling inferior, they have enough of this experience in their regular lives.
13 Likes