I agree although I wouldn’t even say the ending, just halfway through the excitement stops maybe because of a weak villain, a weak generic story, too many side/supporting characters. Things that ruins the pacing or the plot.
Some Wips I’ve seen had too many pointless side characters, others had a terrible villain with no real motivation. One mistake I’ve seen a lot is when the MC is a very passive generic character dragged by the story.
Another mistake I’ve seen is when the MC is too safe, never in danger and has too many supporting characters on their side instead of having lots of enemies, this destroys tension, drama and conflict.
I can name the stories and their respective mistakes but then I’ll get in trouble haha so I won’t unless requested. All I’ll say is that Fallen Hero 1 and 2 does a perfect balance between story, backstory, setting, genres, characters and relationships. Balance is key.
Thanks for reading my response, I appreciate it
5 Likes
I just wanted to update you on the game’s progress since it has been a while. The next update will add over 15k words. I’m focusing on adding branching paths and more choices to increase the immersion and replayability. There will be paths that have not been written yet. Each one will take me at least two weeks to finish writing. After the first chapter is done, I plan on going back through everything and adding more.
10 Likes
Lol look- I know I’m the one who picked the choices but, who the hell does my MC think he is? and why IS he so angry?!! Bro was ready to get bloody over some missing wild animals. He must really care about the ecosystem.
“Are you the one scaring all the animals away?” You raise your voice at her. “I wasn’t prepared to fight a woman, but I’ve already made up my mind.” You roll up your sleeves so you don’t get blood on them.
“I’ve never thought I would meet the village idiot.” She says as she turns away from you to pick flowers again.
“Why the fuck would I want to help a bitch like you pick flowers?” The shock on her face is almost enough to make you start laughing.
My MC is going to be the biggest gremlin.
3 Likes
Mc just likes to listen to the sounds of birds chirping. I was thinking of Inosuke from Demon Slayer while writing that. Best part is, not everyone will have or see that choice. I always find it satisfying replaying a game to find hidden dialog options.
2 Likes
The story got potential but the way it progressed is confusing, like we were just fetching a bucket of water then suddenly it transition to the end times with no lore explaining the devil like werewolf with magic that destroyed the mc village and the people or why werewolves were being hunted down or even if the mc is a werewolf from what it is said in the description of the game at the top of this forum
1 Like
