Itâs been a long time since I felt this way (like I want to keep turning the pages and read and read ) and by the way, yes I did read this when it was like maybe posted at 2am (the queer hours when I refreshed the page)? Itâs all a blur,I regret nothing
. I am, however, thoroughly devastated at the ending of the Pt.1 of the prologue (and I played both choices
, thank you for having saves/painnnnn).
I love the way this is written. Itâs art in writing form and itâs very pretty and shiny
. The way itâs written makes me taste the words and itâs so fun! When I read the prologue with all the ways MC was growing, it reminded me of when I first had soda, the sweet taste, the effervescent feeling, and then the burning in my nose where I tried to decide if I liked it or hated it. I really liked this story.
Characters. I really liked the groundwork you laid for the characters, you get pieces of their personality in the story, the way the do things, and in the diary (thank for mentioning to read it every so often). Thereâs also that fair bit of foreshadowing (E and A, looking at yâall sideways). I have such a love/hate for Cece, but overall, a real fondness for the girl. And also a sighing fondness for E, I understand why they did/said some of the things they did, but it still hurts
. Thereâs a real weight to each of these characters and their motivations are very real (especially in the early chapters and even in the later chapters where I wanted to cry for MC/all of them). I just really like the way they feel and I especially loved the characters that felt like they grounded MC like David, Nina, and Alex.
For the pacing, I will say that although this is long. Like really long for a prologue, now that Iâve played it, I have to agree where you stopped for this Pt.1 right now. It feels like itâs setting up for something bigger and we really get to see our MC grow and see some of the dynamics of the school, friend group, and then inevitable disaster in this part. The really joyful parts are fun (made me feel giddy like a kid again), I really enjoyed all the before Arden school scenes and MC really growing into themselves, like with Mr. Banjo/Ms.Kline, but I was also concerned with all the weight/expectations on them when in Arden as the story progressed. But, you know, I liked the first part where MC is growing into themselves, itâs all fluff and kind of rainbows, but in the latter half in Arden, there was bite. It made things interesting and it made it seemed like not everything was going to be given and the MC had to learn to really truly had to hone themselves like they meant it or burn out. It really felt like they were growing, whether they wanted it or not. Also the slowburn with E (as thatâs what I did in my first run) felt perfect like this.
Bugs (potential?)/ typos?/ things I noticed:
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Around prologue_2, it may be a continuity error, but my MC chooses âStar Powerâ for her/Ceceâs group name and the choices initially reflect that with Cece saying thatâs hers, but towards the end when the girls are both sleeping, she whispers âThe Brightsâ which had me a little confused because I didnât pick it (Below: the Star Power choice and then later in the part, when the girls are about to sleep, it doesnât reflect it)
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As someone already mentioned the pronouns jumping around. I had the same issue with playing E as a guy and Eâs pronouns switching from him to her in story. (Below: Around prologue_ardent_first_day)
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The same can also be said about Ash with the pronoun switching, Ash is a guy in my playthrough and the pronouns will sometimes switch in the story (Below: Around diary)
- Around prologue_ardent_first_day/ Maybe something with code with the name?
I think you mentioned it before in this forum that in this Pt.1 of the prologue, it doesnât really branch out except maybe towards the end. I approve (if so), because you can have time to do that later, for now the flavor texts and small acknowledgements are just a good build up for the characters/story. I will say that on my first playthrough, if you keep choosing E, everything aligns and makes sense. Otherwise, when you choose someone else, like A, it makes you scratch your head because it does reflect a little in the diary when you have to choose between the two of them. But, in the story, it looks like MC will always have a crush or something like that (but I havenât fully finished that playthrough/a third way there to check though) on E. I guess my one critique for Pt. 1 of the prologue may be that can feel that you are railroaded into this crush depending on your playthrough. Or at least what I thought for my playthrough (if that makes sense?).
ANYWAYS, coming from the end of the PROLOGUE PT.1 (with a romancing E mindset), I AM STILL DEVASTATED. IF I KISS E, I get relief for a moment and then give them some type of trauma from the vomiting
. IF I DONâT, then I GET ALL KINDS OF GRIEF from everyone and then theyâre like oh the solution is so easy. Nu-uh, I knew rushing with a crowd is bad, strawberries are bad, and then that quiet confession from A.
I genuinely thought they were just platonic the whole time, it was only when I read the diary where I was like noooooooo, I AM COOOKED
TLDR: Anyways, I kind of checked over this post, but Iâm mostly capturing the feeling. Thank you for coding this. I know this is monster of a thing to do especially with how much there is and all the variables. I love this story and the characters. I look forward to the next part.
Please take your time and take rests as necessary (as many as you need really). I hope some of this was helpful and once again, thank you!