WIP - Self/13 - FEEDBACK NEEDED PLEASE - Link added 14/07/15


#1

Hey people

I am completely new to writing a game like this, although I have enjoyed playing CoG and Hosted Games for quite a while now. Any top tips for a noob like me? My idea involves an actual episode from my own life where I would travel back in time (I’m not sure how yet) to talk to myself as a 13 year old. Is this something that you think other people would find interesting, and can anyone give me advice on how to begin?

EDIT: I’ve worked out how to edit my post, not that I’m thick or anything… Anyway, I’m posting the intro to get peoples feedback on. There are no choices yet, it’s just so I can see if it’s something people are interested in reading. Specifically:

  1. Does it make sense the way I have written it from the POV of my past and present selfs?

  2. Do you think it’s okay to have choices presented from both POV’s or should I just have choices from one for clarity?

Thanks in advance for your feedback. I’m just waiting for my dropbox folder to sync and then I’ll post the link…

EDIT 3: Forgive my noobness, I think I’ve got it sorted now @Cecilia_Rosewood sorry for completely ignoring the ‘can’t post my demo’ link you shared…

This should work…


#2

Write out a rough outline (so you know what you’re supposed to write next), learn how to code and then just try to write it and ask questions if you run into things you can’t figure out on your own.

Useful links:





http://www.choiceofbox.com/sub1/basic-choice-of-genders-in-games-by-mutonelite/


#3

I think the core concept of “travel back in time to talk to your younger self” is interesting, but the narrative challenges here are significant. In particular, it calls for a lot of consideration to how you want to characterize the protagonist.

It sounds like you want to have a strongly characterized protagonist who is “you” (@yates704), in sort of a fictional-autobiographical way. To pull this off, you’ll need to make sure that the fictional yates704 is as interesting to other people as to you, and that the choices available make sense to everyone without having your actual life experiences. You’ll also need to juggle this with the desires of your audience, which may include actions that you personally would never ever take.

I think this could be fascinating if you can pull it off - but it will be significantly challenging. You might be better off divorcing this from your actual lived experience and making it wholly fictional.


#4

If you think you can make an entire interesting story revolving around this, I’d say do it, but I completely agree with @cvaneseltine in the thought that it should be fictional


#5

Thanks everyone for your replies.

@Cecilia_Rosewood thanks for those links, I’ve had a look and I think they will be really useful. An outline is a great idea so I know where I’m going.

@cvaneseltine Thanks for your thoughts. I’ll keep those in mind as I try to write this. I might make the core of it non-fiction, but make a lot of the choices fictional.

I’m going to start writing the outline soon and I’ll keep you all updated.


#6

@Doctor, I forgot to mention you. Thanks for your encouragment!


#7

@yates704, I think you oughta make a good plot that mostly fits within your main idea, like the mc travels back in time into their 13 year old self, but accidentally change something so they have to try to get things back to normal, or go back and find that things are already way different due to a different time traveler, and you have to stop him before he messes things up too much, so there’s an actual plot to pull people in.

I’d also make the mc not you, just make them customizable, or give them a few different backgrounds to choose from, that way if people dislike the character, it isn’t too close to home (plus it would be less likely that the mc is something that they would complain about in the first place)

It looked like you needed some ideas to go off of


#8

I’ve seen a lot of those slice of life games written in Twine, where they delve into personal matters and allow the authors a chance to reflect, as well as give their readers a glimpse of their own life. There’s no reason you can’t do one in choicescript.

I think it’s an interesting concept. There’s certainly lots of “what I’d say to my younger self” articles that I’ve read, and to turn it into a game is such an interesting idea.

I’d say if you want to keep it non-fiction then keep it non-fiction, and just write it about yourself. There’s nothing that says you can’t.


#9

Agree with this 100%. My advice above was centered on whether or not the original premise would fit a typical Choice of Games title (second person, protagonist customization, etc.)

If that’s not the goal? Absolutely do whatever you want.


#10

Okay - It’s now officially a WIP!

I’m going to need a LOT of help with this, and I really appreciate the help I’ve had already.

@Doctor Thanks for the suggestions, but I’ve decided to go with the non-fiction with elements of fiction thrown in. As in the core of it will be non-fiction, but there will be choices that are entirely made up.

@FairyGodfeather Thanks for the encouragement. That’s the idea I’m going with. Do you think it’s okay to write from a first-person perspective?

@cvaneseltine Thanks for your input. I’ve not seen a CoG like this yet, so I’m going to give it a go.

Thanks everyone else who has bothered to read this thread. If you have any advice I’d be very grateful.


#11

I’ve decided not to use a stats screen or make things too complicated. Being my first CoG I’m keeping things simple.


#16

Arggghhh! Stupid google drive! I’m downloading dropbox as we speak…


#17

I’ve added a link to the intro - feedback needed please!


#18

It’s something I don’t know for sure but the beginning from what I can tell is you are a farmer boy with being picked on by people. And then it turns into choosing an animal and choosing what to do like enslave the people. Is it have to do something with cerebral palsy? That we get these unusual choices?


#20

He had decided not to make a stats screen and he hopes to make it simple