Hello, I hope your weekend is going well. I have some good news to share.
Public update is scheduled for release on 24.02.24.
Chapter 2 Pt. 1 originally contained 20k words, but I decided to expand it by adding a first meeting scene with the last of the ROs, Sebastian / Selena (+7k words excl. code).
In total, the update will add 27k words (excl. code).
Thank you for your interest, I hope you are looking forward to the update!
Hey, I read through the first chapter and I have to say it is really an interesting premise, I saw ppl comparing it to Wayhaven and it may be similar at first glance, but in the first chapter, the MC is already more of a detective then MC in Wayhaven, where that part is getting more and more insignificant and forgotten as the story goes on. The overall vibe also is more mature to me and that’s a big plus. That being said here are some things that didn’t work for me.
When introducing characters, or describing them in general, what I would say should be avoided is straight up listing their qualities. That feels really awkward and rushed, like you want the person reading to like the character as soon as possible, bypassing organic development, and it makes it feel superficial. The example that really made me notice that, was the introduction of the sister where it happens on two pages, one after another.
It’s like checking the list of likable character traits without making them do anything to back up their qualities. At the same time, there is a good example of a sister’s characterization.
A group of agents show up and steal MC’s investigation. Wayhaven.
MC doesn’t know about the supernaturals, but they know. Wayhaven.
Even some members of this group - judging by their descriptions - seem similar to the UB
Reyes - A
Vazquez - M
Brailsford - Nat/e
Of course, I hope this is only a superficial resemblance and these characters will turn out to be more interesting and developed than Wayhaven ROs, who, imo, feel more like popular tropes than real people).
Oh, I’m looking forward to the new update at the 24th February 
good gosh jumps around in excitement <3
I’m so glad you noticed that.
Thank you for taking the time to point out errors, it’s very important feedback for me. I’ll upload a fixed version on update day.
Don’t you play mind games with me!
Now I don’t know if you’re glad because I gave actually valuable advice or if you did it on purpose and are glad someone noticed. And you know what, don’t tell me which is it, I wanna live in suspense.
so anything about elves and dwarves and a war is TLOR
anything with dragons is GoT
anything about a group of superpowered kids in an academy is Xmen and so on…
A, M,N and F are not unique. They have actually absolutely nothing unique about them. They are 4 classic archetypes in writing, with 4 classic troupes.
The Wayhaven premise is not unique as well. So what’s so great about TWC? Well you have the ingredients, and you mix them in an interesting way, sprinkle your own style of writing and vibe and get something new.
I’ve read the demo and it has a completely different vibe to the story and setting. It is darker, more mature and the characters do not feel at all like the characters in TWC.
Also people often don’t know that using character body/facial features to show the characters personal traits without saying it out loud is a big thing in movies, books and stories in general.
Big/Tall - intimidation
Fair skin/Cold grey/Blue eyes - stoic/ detached
Warm skin tone and colors - friendly demeanor
and so on…
so A,M,N and F are actually very much textbook characters, which is not bad, I love TWC. But I think its time to stop with the comparison.
p.s.: this is not a rant, or written with any aggression towards you. this is a very simple quick explanation about how character creation works and maybe knowing this you can actually just enjoy this IF and other stories without starting to compare things because if you look for similarities you will alway, always find similarities.
Jeez, what’s wrong with noticing the similarity? 
I haven’t met these characters in the game yet, I don’t know what they are like, but based on descriptions it was hard to ignore - let’s see, e.g. commanding agent. Overbearing and ruthless,. Blonde. You can’t say it doesn’t sound like A. But this isn’t hate, just noticing!
I don’t know what you had in mind with all this. Why don’t people read other people’s comments more carefully? My comment is about something completely different.
I literally wrote that Wayhaven ROs seem like tropes from popular romance novels to me, and I hope that despite the first similarity I have with them, the characters from this WIP will not be like that.
I think the demo is still a bit too short to judge. At least for me.
That’s why it is not really correct to start talking about similarities with twc. You haven’t really met the characters yet, but already comparing them to twc characters. you even wrote it down who is who from twc
A’s appearance and character trades are textbook from old school characters that come from military backgrounds so Mishka is not the original creator of that, but again it is NOT a bad thing. The same as everyone uses the Rome & Juliet trope and characters, but we don’t go comparing every story to them and pointing fingers.
honestly…I think we all here know the twc community and how ifs that have anything that has any detail that is similar to twc, is being labels “a twc copy” when its not. Its just really disrespectful to the authors here to give this judgment before actually reading their work…I’ve seen plenty of good stories and wips being canceled because of this twc issue.
I think if you find a copy, or something very similar that it screams twc in this if or any other, then it would be great to have some constructive criticism about it for the author to think about, to change and make their work better.
And lastly…writing a story and putting it out for people to see and judge is stressful, so I think being fair, tactful and giving constructive criticism is important, for the story and the author.
so let’s end this on a nice note 
I see your point, I hope you see mine & I didn’t mean anything bad, I can see, that you as well.
First of all loving the art work, all enjoyable so far. Looking forward to the complicated relationship with the sister.
Hello, Chapter 2 part 1 is out! (27k words excl. code.)
If you notice any coding, grammar, narrative errors, please don’t hesitate to let me know, your feedback will help me make the demo better.
Important note: it’s best to delete all old saves and start over, as I’ve added new variables and changed old ones.
What awaits you in the new update:
Total word count: 47k words (excl. code) | 56k words (incl. code).
I realized I forgot to update the “detective notes” on the stats page, but I will do that in the next update so the reader understands how much time they have left until the full moon.
Chapter 2 Pt. 2 is well underway, and I hope to be able to finish and release it by the end of March or early April on Patreon.
I hope you’ll enjoy the update!
oh my gosh, the update was fantastic I love all the characters (and their names, I mean Roderick…and Goldstein, I really adore names like that!!) the new RO’s are suspicious, so so so suspicious 
and Mor…why??? so, my theory is that they are all not human (I mean the new RO’s and maybe Mor… xD) I mean, come on, I.'s eyes in the scene in our office… gosh, I cannot wait to know more about these guys I’m looking forward to the next update and I hope you have so much fun to write more 
you did an amazing job!!
And what did Lord Almighty do with us? Took away our wings? Kill our angel powers / holiness?
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the update!
Spoiler alert:
All supernaturals have glowing or shifting eyes, noticeable even in human form if they use their power, because ‘the eyes are the mirror of the soul’, although the word ‘soul’ is not used in the world where the events of the Sanguine Sky take place.
That’s what happened, yes. There’s a moment in the chapter that explains more about it, but it’s available if the conditions are met and you choose a certain order of choices.
thank you for answering the questions, very appreciated <3
I have a suspicious feeling what this familiar feeling means (when MC flirts with certain people) that all three of our new ‘friends’ are the archangels and Sebastian is Lucifer xD
Yes, it was amazing, I got through all the RO’s and I like all of them, even when our new ‘friends’ are not as nice as our best friend (hopefully that will change in the future )
I really love this; it’s quite interesting and well written. It’s always fun playing as a detective as well.
Loved the update, so interested in where this is going and cannot wait for more!
Good game love it, gonna wait for publishing to buy this game.
Though I’ve a suggestion and a question 
however you think to take it is so ,my question is as I’ve seen in this story our MC got to meet supernatural’s and our MC himself is a fallen ,broken and a cursed born human who previously use ro be archangel/or just angel thus as far I’ve seen our MC goona meet murderer or murderers since C.I.D aka supernaturals decided to use our MC as a bait to lure in the killer and then apprehend or kill or do whatever is necessary for them hence why not make our MC or give our MC a chance to learn and become master in all kind of combat style (like every types of martial arts, every types of melee combat technique and martial arts, every types of range combat technique and martial arts, every kind of Offensive & Defensive combat technique and martial arts, every kind of weapons including all kind of Offensive & Defensive & range & melee weapons use proficiency) also including best possible kind of human body fitness, strength, stamina, agility, dexterity, reflexes, speed, perception, constitution and pain & torture tolerance to survive in any kind of hostile environment.
Also give our MC a chance to learn and become fully master in all kind of survival training (like how to hunt, gather resources, search for food in every possible brutal & harshest environment, etc…,etc…) and medical training (like every kind of first Aids training to patch up, clean and bandage any kind of possible injury & knowledge about all kind of medicines to cure any kind of possible curable disease) and also science, technology and cyberspace training (like every kind of scientific & technological knowledge to make every possible kind of ammunitions for guns and all kind explosive devices so that our MC be able to wipe out entire group of gunmen, criminals, terrorists etc… and every kind cyberspace technological knowledge to be able to easily hack every possible kind of servers, computers etc… for information gathering on group terrorists or criminals illegally operating on darknet & deepweb for all kind of nefarious operation and things like illegal drugs, weapons, essential & secret governmental information etc…,etc…) , since supernaturals will gonna be present in this story and supernaturals have their own supernatural people for knowledge & information gathering like ‘seer’ which supernaturals disguise as CID were taking about I don’t think without all of these qualities present in our MC , our mc will gonna survive meeting supernaturals or worse remaining alive after confronting supernatural killers which our MC are trying hard to catch and arrest those supernaturals killers for trail & justice for their heinous crime and thus stop them from killing even more people.
I’m suggesting this because you haven’t put any kind of skills & stats for our MC except behavioral stats for our MC.
In the last I’ll just say this is just suggestion not order or demands because I think by adding my suggestions you will make your story even more beautiful and much better than it already is, of course I’m not say your story is bad , honestly your artist skill & imaginations are really good and I want that your story should become even better than it already is thus becoming greatest COG WIP like Empire and Kingdoms COG WIP because I love your work and will gonna definitely buy when your story is published. Keep Up 
The Good Work and Stay Good & Healthy.
Edit. Sorry 
for repetition but I’m not gonna DELETE it.
Damn, this story is getting better and better! Keep at it!
Thank you, I’m trying very hard to do the detective part well and logically grounded!
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed the update 
Thanks, I’ll do my best!
That’s very high praise, but of course I need to finish the story first, and that’s a long way off! But thank you, I really appreciate it
Wow, thanks for taking the time to write such a great list of suggestions, I’m really glad you enjoyed the story and it always makes me happy how people offer to make my demo better by adding different options and mechanics!
For the demonstration, I invited T.
T is very chaotic and laidback, so if the MC makes similar choices, the MC will get approval points with T.
But what happens if your MC is not chaotic and laidback? Let’s ask T.
At high approval:
T: “The MC is so funny, and it’s so sexy that I find it hard to control myself around them…”
With low or negative approval:
T: “MC is so uptight… I have a method or two to help them relieve the tension.”
As you can see, both options are different but neither one is bad. Not every interaction will be built on such a system, but sometimes some parts will change depending on it.
The game already has an important stat that the player will need to earn for a certain ending, but along with it, the reader will have to make tough choices.
I realize that for some people this will make my game boring. But my main goal is to focus on the narrative and the ROs, and I’ll leave it as it is, at least until chapter 5. Thank you again for your suggestions!
