[WIP] RED HILL: PART ONE: 4 Jan 2024

Then can I suggest to use another name instead of the Empire or specify which empire? It’s difficult not to think about Darth Vader automatically xd. Anyway I’m pretty sure this could become one of my favorites wip in cog

Shows promise so far. Waiting for the chance to meet the cute captain Carter.
Nothing more to add thus far than keep up the good work and that I hope the mc’s two adorable alien critters will be okay!

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A lot of positive reviews already nice! I’ll be trying out the demo that’s for sure

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Thinking about Darth Vader eh? Okay, I’ll change that.

It’s a little risky to dictate the MC’s personality rather than letting the player decide, due to the fact that it’s incredibly hit or miss - either the MC you’ve dictated will resonate with the player, or they won’t. That generally isn’t a problem when the player is given the agency to create and roleplay their character the way they envision, and through which they experience the world you’ve created.
I mentioned this as one of the points in my previous post because it’s what I experienced: It’s not that other elements of the story weren’t interesting, they were, but without knowing the MC was rather ‘set’ I found myself thinking, ‘this doesn’t fit with how my character would act/speak in that circumstance,’ and wishing for a choice; it was a bit immersion breaking.

But in any case, if that’s truly how you envision your story, then you gotta do what’s right for you.

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The past can be set if you want or really need it for the story, just try to give the player a good amount of choices when it comes to shaping the mc in the present and the future. That potentially offers the benefit of a semi-set character with enough player choice to satisfy a lot of us.

“I, the forgotten one” is, imho, a good example of this, the main character is a semi-set personality with a heavily troubled past, but the player can still influence how they approach the mc’s problems in the game and how they react to certain events.

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Very well said.
I think a big influencing factor as to the success of ‘I, The Forgotten One’ MC’s “semi set” personality (or aspects of it), was that from the moment the player jumped in they started to get little inkling of the troubles and traumas of the character’s past in that war-torn setting, and how that would naturally affect them regardless of how we choose to act going forward. We understood how that shit would affect them so naturally factored that in to the character we formed around it.
Nobody reasonably would create a chirpy MC in that setting, with that past, so there was no disconnect with what was ‘set’.

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Good read so far very interested to see this universe get developed

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Enjoyed what I played of the game. There is one thing that bugged me, though:

When MC is looking after an injured Kaiya, it says that her “pulse is low” (I assume you mean slow). Her pulse would actually be fast, since she’s going into shock from blood loss. It would be more accurate to say that her pulse is weak. You could also say that her skin is ashen or cool to the touch. If her pulse is slow, she’s about to go into cardiac arrest and die - like, very soon. I don’t know what technology that medkit has, but that level of blood loss is a long recovery.

Longer explanation

When you lose enough blood, you start going into shock. Your heart has to pump faster and harder to get enough oxygen to all of your tissues because you have less blood and therefore less hemoglobin. At the same time, your body pulls blood away from your extremities and skin; it gets redirected to your heart and lungs. This is why a dying person’s skin and fingers/toes feel unusually cool - though in the case of blood loss, you literally have less heat in your body to go around. The pulse would feel weak because you have less blood and therefore a lower blood pressure - the blood vessels won’t push as hard against your finger when you assess the pulse. This is an alarming sign, but still treatable pre-hospital.

A slow heart rate is a very late sign of shock - it means that your body can no longer compensate for the blood you’ve lost. And from there, your vital organs (brain, heart, lungs) will be damaged by lack of oxygen. In other words, you’re probably going to die. That’s not something you can fix without intensive care.

Suggested fix: say that her pulse is fast and weak.

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I named my droid Freddy, (just because he reminds me of an animatronic) So when he said to kill me, all I could think of was Mariplier screaming “FREDDY YOU BASTARD!!!”

P.S.
I love how there is finally a Star Wars inspired WIP.
I myself am planning on making a Halo WIP in the coming years.

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Naturally. (GIF warning)

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Treasure Planet

Even with this being said, I don’t count it against this WIP of yours. As others have said, a tiny bit more attitude flexibility would be neat, but do things at your own pace.

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Great start! I enjoyed the demo and I’m looking forward for what’s next.

I love MC. Except that from MC’s reaction to Bridge’s flirting and MC’s checking Kaiya’s “endowment” it seems that MC is into women (and also furry women) and it is something I’d like to avoid.

Also from ROs description Solaris is gender-flippable (btw, I also vote for letting the player choose their gender if there isn’t a reason why they can’t be available for same-sex romance) but in the first chapter Solaris is already a “he” (I don’t mind).

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This is really good.