WIP Pushed (Thriller, Romance, Combat) | Chapter 5 is fully out and complete|🥳

[love4tae]

CHAPTER 5 is out

Pushed is a thriller, romance where you live in a big slump after your best friend died a few months ago. With evidence of being pushed, everyone thinks it was a suicide… Except you.

You decide to head to you and your best friend’s favorite spot. While there you accidentally switch computers with someone and realize that he was accepted into a top rated spy school.

The best part? They didn’t include their gender or what they looked like. So you can easily take his spot… Right? You decide going to this school would be best for you. You can probably find out who took your best friends life , OR will you choose to let go of the past and actually become a spy?

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• Play Male or Female
• Find who pushed your best friend.
• Find love on the way
• Feel betrayal from people you thought you loved.
• Find out how your Mother passed away
• 2 twist endings

Link to DEMO: https://dashingdon.com/play/sarah-k/pushed-1/mygame/

(The old link was deleted. sorry…)

Content Warnings

Mentions of:
Suicide
Death (ALOT)
BOXING
SMOKING
More to come soon!

RO's

I have a bunch planned but only reveal them in each chapter.
Cameron
A 16 year old who is a stoic metal tank. His curly blonde hair and green eyes could make any girl fall. You took his spot to the academy but someway he arrived at orientation. Could you be a rival to lovers?
Ethan/Ellie
They act stoic but really on the inside mushy and soft. They’ve taken a liking to you.
They work as a gardener with their mother in the Academy! They have messy black hair. Pale skin and ice Blue eyes.

Leo/Leila
They are a mute person, they may not talk. But show their emotions a lot! They have curly hair/ hair thats always in a braid. Tan skin and brown eyes.

Characters

Mother
Your mom went on a ‘trip’ but never came back. Your Dad refuses to talk about it.
Dad
Your Dad, an amazing father gave you everything you could dream of but when Mom disappeared
you left your amazing mansion and came to an average family home. He works as an ER nurse 9pm-3am
Jacob
Your best friend’s cousin, you all were a group, troublemakers,and prankers. But all that ended when June was pushed. He is your only friend, but sometimes you wonder if he’s harboring a deep secret sometimes.
Lizzy
Your stepmom, what else can you say. You feel like your Dad moved on quickly cause your Mother passed away when you were 7 and he re-married when you were 12. She’s nice but you just can’t find a reason not to like her.

Harper
She is your friend at the academy, she is the student body vice president!
She has red hair that’s always straightened.

Hayden
He is the brother of Harper. He has dark blue hair, quiet and humorous.
He is interested in Art and Tech.

[Ivan_WM]

The story sounds great and I’ve liked the writing so far, but I wasn’t really able to go far because of this:

Summary

[Non_Fat_Pizza]

[love4tae]

@Non_Fat_Pizza
@Ivan_WM
Really sorry bout that thought I fixed it!

EDIT: fixed!

[Ivan_WM]

Well, I’ve read through and I can say this looks good so far, and your work has potential.

These are some bugs, suggestions, and stuff I marked out from reading.

Summary

Firstly, this comes up when I’m done choosing a name as a guy. I end up being taken to the name options for females.

Also, I would like to suggest that you put notes like the one where you talk about being a beginner right before the choices, that way it isn’t confusing and doesn’t break immersion.

Example:
Author’s Note: I’m still a beginner, but the non-binary gender option will be available later.

There are many places where you just suddenly switch from third-person to first-person speech and switch back.

Lastly, I noticed this while I was playing as a guy.

I liked the premise of the sorry and its direction as an individual going undercover in a school that teaches people to go undercover. Good luck on your future writing endeavors.

[love4tae]

I’ll make sure to fix all errors and thanks for the feedback!

EDIT: woah…I just realized how many things I messed up

[love4tae]

So I’ve also changed Katie into a guy (Jacob) to balance out the characters more. Don’t worry there will be some females and Non Binarys soon in the story.

Lot’s of errors have been fixed. (Sorry, guys)

[love4tae]

(First of all, YAY thanksgiving where I live )
Should I grind for chapter 2 fully or you guys want me to give you chapter 2 first part?

• Grind for chapter 2 fully.
• I want chapter 2 part 1.

[love4tae]

@love4tae

Should I grind for chapter 2 fully

So i’ve finished chapter 2 it’s a pretty short chapter. and will release it Nov. 25 (tmr)
Hope you guys will enjoy it!

[love4tae]

Chapter 2 is out!
Hope you guys enjoy it!

*You will probably hate Jacob after this…
I’ll be taking a very very short break just one day honestly. I’ll spend most of it planning

Sneak peak of chapter 3

You will be on the airplane for almost all of chapter 3 arguing with a woman sitting next to you. I plan to make that chapter have lots of humor and comedy in it. The woman that sits next to you in the airplane is a vital character.

And then the chapter after that will be kinda be like a ‘welcome/back to school’
ifykyk it will be inspired by… @HarrisPS beginning of creme de la creme and the beginning of Paranormal preparatory school! yk if you’ve played it.

[will]

Hey! Had a read through!

Things that bumped me:

• Spelling and grammar was rough – might be a good idea to have someone you trust have a read through and make line edits, or perhaps check out tools like Grammarly. In the long-term, you’re going to want to read up on sentence construction and punctuation and do lots of practice so that it becomes natural.
• The biggest grammar issue was the mix-up of 1st and 2nd tense – sometimes the POV character introduces themselves as “I” and sometimes as “you” within the narration, e.g. “You wake up with my heart pounding”.

Things I liked:

• Lots of interesting customisation. I’d want to see these choices become significant later in the story and not just be cosmetic.
• Lots of focus on character relationships. Character relationships are storytelling.
• You have a preset personality for the main character – this can make for really interesting, specific stories from a strong point of view if you lean into it and make it more explicit. This is most apparent with the first interaction with Cameron, where the main character is directly stated to find him attractive and every choice is locked into awkward self-consciousness. Lean into it and make it clear.

[love4tae]

@will

Spelling and grammar was rough

I’m always rushing to get these chapters done… but thanks alot for the feedback. I also just realized you are so right about spelling and grammar especially with those 1st and 2nd tense.
I made a thriller which is based on this awhile ago.

But without the whole spy thing, and I wanted to copy and paste some of it in there…yep my lazyass. But i’m always looking for more spelling and grammar errors. tysm @will

(just went on grammarly correct 343924839 errors!!! ty again)

[Kaelyn]

My Game crashed with an Intention error in the first Seconds option in the first choice of the library Scene.

I must say I really did not understand how I could swap Laptops with the other Guy. I never went near him.

Since the game crashed shortly after the beginning I can not really say much about the game. But the premise Sounds interesting.

[love4tae]

Really sorry about that, and I’ll try to add more context to switching the laptop!

EDIT: fixed! and the just added a bit more understanding to the laptop scene!

[Kaelyn]

That would be nice, I will play again, when the Error in the library is fixed

[love4tae]

Man, im really sorry…that was just a few moments before the emotional scene.

[coal8]

weird that nobody mentioned this but saving doesn’t work

[Kaelyn]

No Problem😉 Just tell me when its fixed then I give it the next try.

[love4tae]

@coal8
yea the saving has been getting me rlly pissed ngl, but i’m still trying to figure out what’s the problem. Every time you save it restarts, I almost broke my computer while trying to figure it out. Don’t worry though I’ll fix it soon!

[love4tae]

oh and @Kaelyn I don’t know if you played again but I fixed the error you were talking about!