When picking the option, it gave the error pop-up, then the next page loaded only the first paragraph (so no choices or next page button etc). I’ve played CS games for such a long time now, like I recognize that general category of error and its result, it’s not a weird thing like I may be describing it as, just hard stops the game and can’t progress since it doesn’t load anything beyond some chunk (I think it loads the page up to the point where it needs to draw the missing label then dies? idunno i no know coding). Just wish I had written down the error when I came across it yesterday or whatever to make it easier 
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It’s no problem! I’ll see if I can’t replicate it. You said it was in Chapter 2, so I know the scene where it’ll be 
Edit: Hopefully this problem should be fixed. I added a variable but forgot to upload the updated “startup” file. Rectified!
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This is so good I created an account just to reply to your post. Please finish this!!
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Thank you so much! 
Already going over the next chapter’s plan!
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I love the writing of this game, usually the character in super hero wip feel unnatural but here in few dialogue the characters are all distinguishable from each other. This is really good I will follow your work carefully.
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I haven’t finished the demo yet but it’s so good that I can’t wait to say how i like the story 
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I hope you enjoy the rest!
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Good stuf
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Well, this was a very good read. I was really impressed how you managed to surprise me by introducing various details only when they become relevant and to drip feed information about past events at the right pace. If I had critique, it would be that some of the scenes can drag a little. For my taste the scenes at the MCs job were a little too long.
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Thank you! Pacing of exposition is definitely an eternal struggle, but I’m glad I managed alright haha
As for the job scenes—that’s more of an early game thing. With the characters introduced I can tighten the scenes to hopefully a more agreeable length
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I haven’t finished it yet but from what I have read, this is super intriguing. Playing as a superhuman who can take a shotgun blast like we’re superman but instead of it having no effect and it actually causing damage is not something I see to often so I am excited for this.
Side note reading the job scene, you keep referencing Tilly as a dower when I think you mean dour. The first word means a widow’s share of something or a dowry and I don’t believe she’s either. Dour means stern, severe, etc, which is what I think you were going for.
Also that is so many characters to introduce at once. Quite frankly I kind of gave up trying to keep track whose who.
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Thank you! The added peril definitely provides a lot more story opportunities to work with.
Tredfern is indeed not a widow, I’ll change that. They’re probably rich enough to not bother with the dowry anyway.
I’m sure the characters won’t be too offended if you refer to them as ‘that one’ and ‘the other one’ whilst you get to know them 
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This was so awesome I loved it. Did two playthroughs back to back, stayed up way to late. Love the banter and characters. And did two very different characters and enjoyed the different dialogue options and choices. Really solid and hits all the needed superhero points and the combat and superpower use was fun. The writing was solid and the world was interesting. Really excited about reading more of this.
Did notice some gender inconsistencies in my playthrough. Will have them beneath a cut if you want to review them.
Text from game beneath the hide option. Spoilers(?)
Summary
For my playthrough all ROs are set to male.
Lee set to male but changes gender to “she” in this scene - “she examines me”.
Bodie set to male but a couple of references to “her” - “her second one”, “her parents”.
Bodie set to male “her seat”, “her gaze”.
Bodie set to male “her bedroom” and random “hiss” instead of “his” at the end.
Lee set to male “her gun”.
Casey Dyer set to male “delivery girl”.
Teddy set to male - “her safety”.
Casey set to male - “her going off”, “she’s on call”.
Those are the ones I noticed. Hope this helps.
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Thank you so much! I’m glad to hear the replayablitiy was enjoyable–I’ll even forgive you for staying up late 
I’ll fix those errors too. Thank you!
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I check CoG and this forum a couple times a year to see if anything will click with me like it used to. I can be pretty picky about what I’ll spend time on nowadays, and after playing through this demo, I just had to log in and give you some praise.
Your style of writing is fantastic! It makes me feel so many things and it was genuinely really fun to go from scene to scene with the character interactions, and it is so rare that I genuinely look forward to interacting with most of the characters. I don’t even know who I would want to follow a romance through with! That is a wonderful problem to have. Thank you so much for this special story, and I am absolutely excited to see it continue further.
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This is such high praise, thank you so much!
I’m glad my story could be special for you, and that the characters were at the heart of it. That’s my goal—so I know I’m on the right track with comments like these 
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This is amazing. I haven’t been on CoG Forums lately because I feel that none of the game fit what I want in terms of a story or that they simply aren’t that god but your writing style gives the characters such personalities that I felt sucked in and began caring about them all, not a single character was wasted or unnecessary, and whenever I have to interact with different characters, I genuinely felt excited about it. Man, I can’t wait to see what else you have for us, good luck with future chapters.
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Every one of these super nice comments I read, I’m unsure people are reading the same thing I wrote lmao. Obviously I tried my best, but in a vacuum it felt like I just spent most of the time wrestling frustratedly with my own brain. Your feedback, and everyone elses’, puts a far brighter spin on things 
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Will there be an Ro list and description because idk who was one and can’t tell which choice was flirting. I like cassy so far and I’m confused at how her complimenting my eyes was supposed to be awkward or weird. It was sudden but not weird maybe I’m just weird lol but I chose the “are you flirting with me” choice and the way my mc came off as rude. Thought I was gone flirting back and get her flusted or something but no. All the choice for her was just awkward or rude. And I also tilly something about those cold outside warm inside types that I like. Do we get choices to kill or is the a batman type hero? Still enjoying and playing either way just curious.
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Don’t worry about feedback, I’m happy to explain
So, I did allude to the ROs in the “deep relationships” section of the description. And I was a bit purposefully vague because I wanted the ROs to kind of ‘reveal themselves’ through the story.
If you want to know them going in:
- B. Foster.
- C. Dyer.
- T. Redfern.
- O. Lee.
That being said, I’ve added a basic character index for the ROs recently—which unlocks when visiting the Neo-Works precinct with BF. (Later for Lee. After leaving the Kairnwell sewer hideout). That includes the descriptions for all of them. (BF’s tattoos will be added later, when they’re brought up in the story).
Flirting will become more overt when H is more familiar with the characters. I didn’t want to dive in with too many suave options when the ROs were still being introduced, in and out of the story.
With Cass’ interaction—I’m fairly certain I included options for the MC to acknowledge the compliment was fine, but it came out of nowhere (the last option). Also, the “Are you flirting” option does include “because I’ve seen better flirting from inanimate objects”. Maybe that’s my fault for not including a tone indicator, but I intended that option to be a dig lol.
I am looking for feedback on if more tone indicators are needed, so let me know!
Also, I think from the MC’s perspective, the reason for the options leaning on the awkward side is because, at the time, the apartment is quite a passionate subject for them–so to have Cass not be listening, and also come in with a compliment about the eyes (which is also a sensitive subject for the MC) had them off-guard. I wanted to show that, and then progress to the MC being more warm, if you choose, by the time they say their goodbye ascending the station steps.
For now, killing is a no-go. But it’s a plot that the story will deal with as the MC evolves.
Hopefully this wasn’t too rambley
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