I already love Clay 
That moment with him, the unconscious MC, and Chal getting somewhat jelly jelly… Delicious! 
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I like Chal and candy. Also. Just beat up enough agents, she’ll fall for you eventually? I think? Maybe?
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Fixed the error! Thank you again!
I can’t edit my own post, what has become of this world. I will be forever remembered with that typo.
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I mean, you could always just delete it, then repost it. Also. LOL, LOL, LOL.
What has this world come to when 1 typo causes us such pain?
Poetry is not my strong suit, so I will stop, before I start rhyming hideously now.
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You can ask the moderators to turn it into a wiki for you so you can edit the typo
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Same, I was so happy when I read summary. I was also low-key crying when mc described Eric’s life. Poor guy tried so hard to survive only to get killed.
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Hm, it still isn’t working as you intended. I avoided Daphne again, and still somehow had her card in my MC’s wallet. 
If the update for that wasn’t pushed yet, you can ignore this; just letting you know in case something is actually not working.
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Hi!
Your story is very intriguing and gripping! You kept me on my toes the whole mission — even when I accidentally hit next while deliberating and made a decision that could have been very bad for me!
I made an extended review because I tend to gab a lot in my comments!
My Thoughts Summarized
The MC’s inner thoughts are hilarious! As are the achievements! (“Cinderella” and “Zoro’s guitar” are on my top — made me laugh while I was trying to be quiet list!)
Additionally I have already manifested a love for “the team” as I shall dub them (half because I can’t spell Lei’s name). Mostly Arrow because he’s adorable and I can’t help it (one game of roulette: “not the Russian one”, and I’m a goner!)
Then we have the secrets! I love the pacing of the story and that includes having secrets to discover. For instance, will we meet any mutants? And what’s in the letter from Eric? (That’s gonna make me cry, I just know it. It could be “hi” and I’d just melt.) There is just so much intrigue!
Oh though, I am curious if we (the MC) will ever have to live in the abandoned Agency with “the team.” And I only ponder this, because it seems dangerous being in possession of things that the Agency is after. Knowing we are blacklisted already (for being a traitor and whatnot) and now having a suitcase and the code needed to open it (which, to be fair, the Agency probably isn’t aware of) I’m worried they might come knocking at my door. Being a not so skilled fighter, I’d probably just barely escape with my life!
On that note, I have to say that I absolutely loved this! You’ve done an amazing job! I did catch a few typos (I can point them out if you’d like), but not en mass.
Another also, because of my scatter brain, I love the format you put your game in! It’s very unique and I’ve only ever seen it in both for your WIP’s! It looks very elegant!
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Soo, since you’ve met all ROs so far, I’ve wondered which one you liked best.
Which RO is the most interesting?
- Chal
- Clay
- Candy
- Lei
- Mel
- Mercy
- Arrow
- Daphne
0 voters
Thank you for reading and your comments!
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Continuity error with Daphne: Avoided meeting her, somehow had her business card in my wallet and acted as if he’d already met her.
Trans options: “Dead name”? When the game asked what my real name was when I chose to give Arrow a fake name, I obviously chose the gender appropriate real name. But later, that choice is locked as dead name for trans gender option.
Spelling/Grammar: There were some spelling errors but I didn’t write them down thinking people had already pointed them out. All I remember is “suspicioned”, which is technically correct but not as natural as “suspected”.
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That’s not updated! Will be in the next one.
It’s not meant to be the name you were born with if you’re trans, but the name you chose for yourself. In a sense of a name you identify yourself with which I think counts as “real” name. But if you liked that changed, I can arrange something. Wouldn’t want to step on anyone’s toes.
feel free to point out anything! I appreciate it 
your feedback kept me happy for a long while 
especially the fact that you appreciate my achievements ಥ_ಥ
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ARROW IS BABIEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAA he so precious, T-T
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Yes? I mean that’s what I’m saying, you give the name you identify yourself with when they ask you the “real name”. So your real name, the name you identify as, is input into ${name}.
But then in Chapter 2,
“$!{name} Sterling. That’s your real name right?” their leader asks, but it sounds more like a statement.
*fake_choice
#As real as it gets, although it’s a deadname. My name nevertheless. (Transgender)
“Yes,” you splutter caught off-guard. How do they know your name?
#As real as it gets. It’s the name I was born with. (Cis)
“Yes,” you splutter caught off-guard. How do they know your name?
*if nonb = true
“And I go by they/them,” you add.
This is the only option for binary trans. Forcing your chosen name to be your dead name if you want to play as binary trans.
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Your writing style is quite engaging so far. Just wondering, does Chal identify as a native Mesoamerican or as Latina? Her name seems to suggest she’s Nahuatl. Keep up the good work though!
Edit: Replayed an old section, found mention of her as Latina.
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Small continuity bug.
I chose to dress up in a suit, but the text referred to my female MC as wearing a dress in the next scene.
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I’m interested and definitely going to bookmark this. But I can’t stand when mc have older brother who died earlier but also very loving responsible to mc. It’s angsty and bittersweet, my heart couldn’t take it 
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Whoops, I think I got a little confused with the terms there, sorry. I’ll change it in the next update!
Will look at it, thanks!
I am but an ignorant Eurpoean, hadn’t thought much about it tbh 
Well, it’s your way at looking at it. And yes, the intention is to keep up that angst. 
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like…
part of me wants good old tender love and yearning…
but the other part of me wants to go ape sh*t…
unless this actually means that it’s like , a combination of both (like you don’t directly kill them yourself and it’s very sad) then i’m all here for it either way :^)
just about to start the demo now though (i just enjoy reading the post first 
)
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i’m so sad
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Dammmnn the character descriptions are totally insane, I have hots for Lei thou, I havent tried the demo yet, but don’t fret I will after I wrote this down~
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