[WIP] For Those We Have Left Behind—a working title (new polls at #20!)

Hello! gahh, this is a bit nerve-wracking, but I’ve finally mustered the courage to post my first-ever WiP.

I’ve been working on these first couple of chapters for a few months now. It’s not the most polished and not nearly complete, but I thought that it’d be best for me to get some feedback first before I continue writing.

Updates will be sparse for now, not just because I’ll be chest-deep in exams soon, but also because I happen to be a slow writer :saluting_face: – but I plan on regular updates afterward (as regular as I can make them, anyway)!

STORY & GAMEPLAY

Synopsis

After the lost Kingdom of Aldia bursts into existence once more, humanity is thrust into a new age of darkness they could never have prepared for. The land begins to crumble: the gods are angry and weakening, and the Veil has already begun to tear. Abyssal beasts the people have kept at bay for a century have grown larger, deadlier, and increasingly harder to keep out.

This is the Kingdom of Eiosoth, disparate from the rest of the continent by the largest Tear of them all. Here, magic is guided by the stars, and seen as a blessing from the gods themselves: a gift that has granted even the most ordinary individuals a fraction of true power. When you emerge into an autumn far from home, little more than a child and oblivious to the greater evil afoot, you grow to realise that a lot more hangs on the line than you’d thought.

And at the end of the day, you must have hailed from somewhere … right? Who were you, and who are you, really?

(Planned) Features
  • Play as male, female, or non-binary.
  • Define who you are in character, and watch how your actions and beliefs can shape the world around you—both past and present
  • Customise your appearance and the shade of your eyes that belies your heritage.
  • Grow up alongside a cast of eight characters (and pursue a romance with them, if you so choose), each with their own arcs and backstories for you to discover.
  • Befriend and ally with a number more!
  • Possibly gain the loyalty of two dragons (among a troop of other, smaller critters along the way).
  • Sculpt and refine your powers as you learn how to control them – at a cost – or find ways to fight without, when the time comes …
  • Delve deep to uncover the mysteries of your arrival into Eiosoth. What are the gods after, and why do they seek such destruction and ruin?
(Planned) ROs

There are eight planned so far: three male, three female, and two gender-selectable. I’ll only reveal their names for now, mostly because I don’t really know what they’ll all be like yet.

[M] Elasdair Reinhart
[F] Ealyx Reinhart
[M] Caius Tarrenward
[F] Han Nyuwa
[M] Kenzo Druass
[F] Han Tienfei
[M/F] Nihilo
[M/F] Geil/Geila Baranac

Just to clarify, I’ve taken inspiration from Chinese culture for both Nyuwa & Tienfei—their surname, Han, comes before their first names!

Content Warnings

This list will be updated when more content is added!

The demo contains:

  • Strong language
  • Descriptions of violence, gore, and death
  • Mentions of grief
  • Suggestions of manipulation, emotional and otherwise
  • Suggestions of suicide
  • Mild (to moderate?) horror elements, such as descriptions of nightmarish monsters
  • (Of the player character) An implied descent into madness

LINKS

Demo

The demo contains everything I’ve written so far, and currently sits at around 8k words. I haven’t yet implemented stats!

Play the demo here!

MISC

Feedback

All feedback is welcome! Please be as nit-picky as you’d like—it helps the story and my writing grow a lot quicker. Though, if you could attach a screenshot of any problems you encounter, that’d be most helpful! If you don’t really know what to feedback on, I’d really appreciate comments on:

  • my prose & general grammatical errors
  • the flow of the story
  • choices and parts of the story you think should be added/taken out

If you have any questions, ask away! Or, if you’re a little shy to do so, don’t be afraid to drop me a message :))

Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by! It really means a lot <3

150 Likes

This seems really promising! Can’t wait for the next update :blush:

2 Likes

Han Tienfei & Han Nyuwa. Two different ROs with the same name? :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

I haven’t read it yet, but the description sounds interesting. I will definitely check it.

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@Nayomhee aww, thank you so much!! :heart:

@Cingulum_diaboli I’ve taken inspiration from Chinese culture for those two, so for each of them, their surname (Han) comes before their first name! Thanks for checking out the demo tho!!

5 Likes

Oh. Embarrassing. I should have guessed those were surnames :sweat_smile:

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nahh, it’s all good :))

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I really like this! Very well written so far. I can’t wait for more💜

2 Likes

Can the mc have revenge against his sister and the church four in prisoning them because this is all that I get from the demo

4 Likes

thank you so much!! :heart: :heart:

HAHA not so much - I won’t be revealing a lot abt what has happened ('cos spoilers!!), but I’ll just say that it has nothing to do with the church, it does have something to do with imprisonment, and your sister does have something to do with it :slight_smile:

Revenge, and on who, is pending …

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Oh no problem I guess I’m going to wait for the next update but if you do not mind me asking do you have plans for povs in the wip

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This sounds pretty neat and ill definitely be keeping my eye on this one. I tend to wait until a wip has enough to really sink my teeth into so i cant offer any constructive criticisms at this point. Nonetheless i wish you the best with your story.

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That was fun. I have no idea what is going on, but In the fun sort of, huh let’s see what happens next, way.

Looking forward to more annoying God like entities getting all up in my business.

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hmm … I have plans for interludes, which will probably end up being POVs from certain major NPCs to add to the mystery of it all + more world-building!

no worries! thanks for giving the demo a looksie anyway :>

HAHA yeahh sorry it’s a bit all over the place for now, but hopefully, the next few updates will make things clearer; I’ve got a lot of ideas swimming around rn :kissing_smiling_eyes: thanks for reading!

3 Likes

What you have already is very, very promising, Dear Author. I love what you’ve got going here. Keep up the good work and get it published! I can’t wait to spend money on this

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Looks really interesting, will be keeping my eye on this WIP.

Good luck on exams

Don’t forget to take study breaks, take a walk outside to get some fresh air.
YouTube has some really great playlists to study to.

Also calories don’t count during exam time so be sure to treat yourself to some nummy snacks as a way to reward yourself and keep yourself motivated. And definitely treat yourself so something you have been wanting to get once exams are over as a way to celebrate surviving the exams.

You got this.

1 Like

aww wow, such high praise! Thanks, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed what I’ve written so far!! :3

:weary: :weary: Exams are 100% a pain in the behind. Thanks for the encouragement (and for stopping by)! - I’ll definitely keep your advice in mind <3

5 Likes

This WIP is really interesting and fun to read :sparkles:
Can’t wait for the next update!!

2 Likes

Thanks for giving the demo a read! Glad you’ve enjoyed it :kissing_smiling_eyes:

2 Likes

Heya! I’m looking for some opinions on the first 2 chapters and future developments; would really appreciate it if you could help me with the poll below (and elaborate on your opinions if you want to)!

How did you feel about the pacing? (Disregarding confusion about the plot.)
  • Too fast – scenes not fleshed out/detailed enough.
  • Too slow – some details/descriptions can go.
  • Just nice.

0 voters

Were there enough choices to represent what/how your MC might’ve felt/done? (Disregarding customisation; that will come in time!)
  • Yes; I’m happy with what’s there.
  • No; more options should be added.

0 voters

Would you be okay with two (same-sex) ROs developing feelings for one another as the story progresses?
  • Absolutely not.
  • Yes.
  • Yes, but only if it doesn’t lead to anything further (e.g. a relationship).
  • Yes, but only if they’re open to a polyamorous relationship with the MC.

0 voters

4 Likes

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