WIP: Fallen Hero 2: Retribution - updated 27 april 2019 (pre-adult version)

So far i love Book 2 very much … and personally the story line is as clear as crystal , i genuinely think it is way better than Book 1, the main reason is Book 2 allow readers to role play their own character based on individual preference … meaning the story slowly evolve into a phase where we can become an Anti-Villain , maybe even a Hero … the choices given to us allow us to define what type of personality we want to evolve into, there is no more restriction where we feel we must become a villain…

my favourite is giving an interview with Mia, while at the same time start a fan club with the kids by giving them autograph and selfie with them, before running away with a smoke grenade …awesome !!! my MC’s philosophy is … since i am back, why not have more fun and be more famous than sidestep ?? Life is short , i am not going to ruin my days with petty hatred …

and i love the interaction with Lady Argent , she is so sweet !!! the flirting scene with her suit my style , Argent is right …we shouldn’t end each other’s life, it will be boring without any of us

and thank you @malinryden for giving us the option of robbing from the criminal , you are right in your reasoning… fighting criminals had always being what i did in my life , i feel more comfortable robbing from the underworld… especially now without the control from the government :smile:

I think Book 2 bring so much joy to the Fallen Hero franchise, if i may add a suggestion … perhaps MC be given choice to register trademark of his/her hero/villain name , i want a copyright for my "Excalibur" … since i choose to be a Gang leader and register a luxury company with a building , i hope i can register my company as a Charity Organisation , because i plan to distribute my wealth to the poor and homeless … even start to build some houses and give them to the poor , that secretary of mine will be my CEO to do all this "charity " :smile:

Oh …i have a better idea !! Why don’t i start a No-holds-Bar match with Lady Argent in a 100k seated Stadium?
all money from the ticket sales and the merchandise will be donate to the charity … I think Argent will be thrill for this opportunity :grin: I may even challenge Argent to see which of our action figures sell more… :smile:

5 Likes

I’M SO EXCII~IITED~! Everything I could possibly hope for and more! I’ll definitely have to make a new Sidestep to explore the Argent romance route… I’m hooked on this dynamic already. The Ortega scene!!! MY GIRL MIA OCHOA! and gosh I did not expect the path of villainy to be this customisable - I cannot wait!

I plan to poke through the mini-demo more when I get the chance, but here’s the weirdness I noticed so far (that hasn’t already been noted above):

  1. When choosing to change your motivation, it’s possible to choose the same one you had before.

  2. The flashback after choosing to be criminal syndicate/ anarchist could be split into separate pages in my opinion. It was a little confusing to go straight from the flashback text back to the present. Pressing a button would make for a clearer transition, I think.

  3. As much as I enjoy Argent flirtation, it did feel a bit sudden to go from choosing to try and talk with her to touching her face. Maybe add another choice there if it’s not tangled up enough already? :stuck_out_tongue:

  4. After triggering the Sword of Damocles and choosing to take Argent down forcefully, it sounds like she’s just collapsed on the ground
    (It’s as someone has turned off a switch, one moment she’s twitching in agony, the next she’s limp and unconscious.)
    But the next page sounds like she fell off the bridge since the Handyman is trying to save her and MC says it’ll be a while before she gets back. I guess you could just include that we kicked her into the ocean after triggering the Sword.

  5. The first page of the Dr. Mortum love scene could use a page break or two, as could the last before the flashback ends.

  6. Dr. Mortum still calls the puppet by the business nickname (madamoiselle/monsieur) even after love scene where I decided to go from business associates to flirting. It’s actually kind of cute, but I’m guessing it’s not meant to be that way :stuck_out_tongue:

  7. I got these paragraphs flowing kind of awkwardly next to each other - I poked at the code and it looks like they’re separate checks for willpower/stamina?
    You slowly release the breath you hadn’t been aware that you were holding. With the throbbing headache, everything feels too bright and sharp. You need sleep soon if you’re this ready to be jumping at shadows.
    You slowly remove the last bits of your armor, grateful at least for the fact that you’re in lot better shape than you used to. Six months ago a battle like this would have left you a wreck, but you’re not even winded.

  8. Got this repeating dialogue during the criminal syndicate route after joking about marlin.

  9. Dr. Mortum again, going from flirt to dating with repeated text

And here are some stats!

My custom MC - Start

Ash Hong is a seasoned, tech-savvy fighter.
Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel rested.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 75%

Subtle Manipulations: 55%

Armored Suit

Vengeance’s suit is utilitarian and nondescript.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores functionally similar to having a disintegration touch, as well as being equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed, as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% Fine: 100%

Vengeance.
Infamy: 10% Obscurity: 90%

Standard of Living: You are comfortable.
You are living in your old, comfortable apartment.

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 25% Anonymity: 75%

Ruthlessness: 10% Empathy: 90%

Daring: 75% Caution: 25%

Main Puppet

Name: Eve
Puppet Status: unknown
Description: A short, mixed woman in her twenties with hazel eyes and long wavy blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Ash’s relationship with Ortega: it’s complicated.
Ortega and Ash: 75%

Eve’s relationship with Ortega: friend.
Ortega and Eve: 60%

Eve’s relationship with Dr. Mortum: friend.
Mortum and Eve: 70%

Ash’s relationship with Lady Argent: distant.
Lady Argent and Ash: 0%

Ash’s relationship with Marshal Steel: former ally.
Marshal Steel and Ash: 30%

Ash’s relationship with Herald: friendly.
Herald and Ash: 40%

My custom MC - End

Ash Hong is a seasoned, tech-savvy fighter.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel rested.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy
Strength of Mind: 75%

Subtle Manipulations: 55%

Armored Suit

Vengeance’s suit is utilitarian and nondescript.
In its left hand, the suit has a neutered colony of nanovores functionally similar to having a disintegration touch, as well as being equipped with telepathic boosters and enhanced speed, as well as jump-jets.

Armor Status
Need Repair: 0% Fine: 100%

Vengeance. Vengeance is known as a meddler and rabble-rouser.
Infamy: 9% Obscurity: 91%

Standard of Living: You are wealthy.
You are living in your base.

Psychological Profile
Arrogance: 19% Anonymity: 81%

Ruthlessness: 9% Empathy: 91%

Daring: 79% Caution: 21%

Main Puppet

Name: Eve
Puppet Status: unknown
Description: A short, mixed woman in her twenties with hazel eyes and long wavy blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Ash’s relationship with Ortega: open attraction.
Ortega and Ash: 77%

Eve’s relationship with Ortega: friend and confidante.
Ortega and Eve: 60%

Eve’s relationship with Dr. Mortum: friend.
Mortum and Eve: 70%

Ash’s relationship with Lady Argent: distant.
Lady Argent and Ash: 0%

Lady Argent’s interest in Vengeance.: 23%

Ash’s relationship with Marshal Steel: former ally.
Marshal Steel and Ash: 30%

Ash’s relationship with Herald: friendly.
Herald and Ash: 40%

2 Likes

I definitely would love to turn my fanboy Herald into a boyfriend in the future if that is a possibility.

2 Likes

Hello! I really liked the first book and i am really happy to see this wip :smiley:

I took a look at the code and i might be wrong because i have never coded anything, but i think i found some mistakes

I get -5% on leadership here when the same choice in other branches gives me +5%

You have the facial scar labeled as false and it says it's false even when i choose the "i got the scar" option

Edit:

There was a part where my puppet was considered a she (not {phe} in coding)

how does one look at the code?

[Edit] found out.

2 Likes

It has begun! :scream::smiley::crazy_face:

16 Likes

As much as I enjoy Argent flirtation, it did feel a bit sudden to go from choosing to try and talk with her to touching her face. Maybe add another choice there if it’s not tangled up enough already? :stuck_out_tongue:

Yeah it was a little off-putting that simple choosing to try and talk with her automatically led to returning her flirting, it feels like that choice could use some more clarity.

4 Likes

My favorite quote
“Want to scandalize the seagulls”
I just love it!!!

15 Likes

Well I can just say I immediately got back into my character, so fun being a villain muahahah

2 Likes

Meh, to each their own, my mc was a bit annoyed by her unsubtle advances on him to be honest.
Hope the next bit will have Herald in it.

3 Likes

just curious has anyone not made argent there nemesis? does she still flirt with you? ik i can replay and see it for myself but im lazy slogging thru the character creator XD thank you in advance.

Yes she will still flirt with you if not your nemesis.

1 Like

oh shit seriously? damn argent xD why u gotta be thirsty lol

3 Likes

How does one meet Mia?

as far as i recall go to the museum alone and rob it :slight_smile:

1 Like

Any reason to rob the gala over destroying your past? I’m torn lol

1 Like

mouney…mouney mouney mouney XD

4 Likes

money XDDD @E_RedMark u beat me to it damn hahaha XD pretty much money?

2 Likes

well…I have many saves lol for each choices…thats ALOT…XD

2 Likes