After lucifer fell from heaven, he conquered hell and made the first demoness Lilith his betroved, creating three children. Archdemons. The essence of both archangel and demon fused into a new species potentially more dangerous than gods.
The first came Asmodeus, considered the most dangerous archdemon.
Then came Abaddon. Cunning like her father and sadistic like her mother, she’s more unpredictable of than him.
An energy catches their attention originating on the western earth. Their paths split to uncover the source of the disturbance.
Pretty good for an unfinished prologue. The writing is enjoyable and pace feels good so far for a prologue at least. But not much to go on, but that said the genre, concept and what you have here so far, have definitely captivated my attention. So I’ll be watching how this story fares.
SIDE Note: You might want watch out for whole page encompassing paragraphs. Because they can be a bit jarring. Saw a few typos nothing major, pretty normal demo stuff. Also this line repeats. Plus this scene is the one with all encompassing paragraph. So 2 or 3 spacing out would be good.
@Sylents, The idea is ambitious and intreguing I like it. The prologue is very good and I don’t see any bugs. I wil watching this. I very like it the story and the stile. I can’t talk about mechanichs yet. Keep going.
Loved the prologue, a bit much to chew. But since it’s a prologue I believe it shall be forgiven. On that note of the prologue loved the unique twist of 4th wall breaking.
Saw some typos, here and there but nothing Super major. Otherwise I’m looking forward to seeing where this goes. Bookmarked and put on watch. Keep up the great work, but be sure not to burn yourself out too.
This feels like it was written by an AI. My advice would be to not rely to much on already existing concept. Make your own and make those that already exist as a stepping stone instead of copying them.
