Final update before I finish chapter 2…
Everyone has their inspiration for their story, their IF right? Originally, I wanted to create an adam & eve story in a fantasy setting simply because no one else was doing it. That version is the Fractured memory for those who didn’t read the original.
The current version as a whole was inspired by 1 song. I listen to this song everytime I write. Its perfect for what Im going for. Its from a video game I play often
The Song
I’m telling you this to give context…I also listen to pirates of the Caribbean theme for chapter2–
ok bye see you next chapter!
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U are on the right track for sure please keep expanding this if u keep this pace you will have something special there are a few errors spelling and on how some the convos go
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In the memory section it’s not possible to enter Grimms memories: choicescript_stats line 235: memory doesn’t contain label grimm
I found 3 more errors. Do you know about Quicktest? This tests every choice and all the code, and then gives you the lines and the error messages. It’s in the folder where you start your game.
Awesome W.I.P! I love how diverse the races are, and the various descriptors used. Aside from a few typos that many people have probably found already (mainly names not being capitalized, some words spelled wrong), the writing was pretty nice in terms of flow.
I have a bunch of screenshots of the various typos I found, but I’m not sure if I should post them due to the undeniable wall of text that’d cause… (I could use the details command to condense things, but I doubt it would help lol)
Plus some of those are just plain nit-picky, so I think I’ll hold off. Keep up the good work! :]
Nah give em to me. bout to be done with chapter 2 anyway.
If all the errors were in that section, I fixed them.
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Alright, give me a minute. I just discovered a little problem with trying to get full images to show instead of links (I’m fairly new to the forum, sorry) but I’ll get ‘em uploaded as soon as I figure things out!
bad news… I can’t post ‘em cause my trust level isn’t high enough yet. :[
Edit: Never mind! I think I have the solution.
I’m just using this one as a test…
“atleast” should be at least, “Short, Brown” should be lowercase, and ignore the third red line (I think I see what you did there, it was just kinda weird to me), the “i” should be capitalized, and I see “diabled” at the bottom which should be disabled.
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Here they are…
First Batch
If these are both names, they should be capitalized.
*disappointment
*deafening
This name should be capitalized, and I highlighted the “&” symbol because I noticed you used it a lot. I get why you use it, but it might be better to use “and” in some sentences just to make them flow better.
There shouldn’t be a space there.
Second Batch
*die, Lazarus should be capitalized, and “draconic” might be a better word here (again, this is a nitpick), and did you mean “tumbles” at the bottom?
*Dormant, found this one in the stats screen.
I think those two dashes should’ve been a hyphen, *what, and “the” should be capitalized.
This name should be capitalized.
Abbadon should be capitalized, both instances of “happend” should be spelled happened, “eminates” should be spelled emanates, and the its at the bottom should be “it’s”.
*before
*won’t, and Jin’s name should be capitalized.
I’m pretty sure both instances of “its” should be it’s instead, and the “i” should be capitalized.
Jin’s name should be capitalized.
*decision
Third Batch
Both names should be capitalized.
“its” should be it’s, *invisibility, and shouldn’t there be a “they” in between but and were?
I think “spasms” should be “spasm”, unless you meant for the “I” at the beginning of the sentence to be “She” instead.
*decimated, (ignore the red mark on laughably, I read it wrong lol), Sol should be capitalized, and “adament” should be adamant.
“stabing” should be stabbing, she should be capitalized, adament should be adamant, and it’s should be its.
Did you mean… “there were”? Using “was” sounds kind of weird, maybe it’s just me. For the second “was”, if this is present tense and I’m not mistaken, shouldn’t this be “is”? “the other” should probably be each other instead for a better flow, and the two I’s should be capitalized.
*electricity, *ricochets
*The, and did you mean “nightmare”?
Fourth Batch
*interrupts
Might be a nitpick, but I think you should add an “of” in the middle of miles and walking.
Because of the “We” I see at the beginning, shouldn’t the “their” here be “our”, assuming the MC is also staring at Jin and Isa.
*Sporadic
The I should be capitalized, and happend should be happened.
“kingship” should be capitalized.
Both Dashon’s name and his ship name should be capitalized.
*practically
*scapegoat, and Prince Gerald’s name should be capitalized.
*Acceptance
I found this at the beginning of Chapter 2, Part 1 (I believe, we were just arriving onto the island). “dorment” should be dormant.
Both names should be capitalized.
*inevitable
Lastly, this is just a small bug I encountered (or the end of the demo)?
Hope this helps! :]
4 Likes
Update: You already know, chapter 2 is complete.
Chapter 3 will be about introducing Theo. Jin will be the main companion with you for most of it.
Chapter 4 will be about Ariel & Isa. I don’t know yet.
Loved the history so far, but will the AI art be replaced by actual art some point further down into the development?
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You can’t use AI art in published game, if you want to publish via HG.
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Thats a stupid rule. Guess there wont be art in the finished game then.
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Those AI drawings make the game feel very soulless and cheap, especially considering there’s like a dozen of them.
It would be nice if we could disable them.
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chapter2.2 line 213: Couldn’t parse the line after *selectable_if: (Ultimate = “Infinium”)#7 Stages of Pain.
