[WIP] Cursed (Feedback needed | Dark fantasy | 20k words)

Introduction: Hi my name is David better known as Inconclusive, I love games and so I have decided to try making one. Honestly it’s been great so far, if I knew writing was this fun I would have done it a long time ago. Anyway on to the game details, I’ve been working on my game Cursed (I know the title needs work) and I really need some feedback on how good I have been doing so far. I want the criticism to be raw and unfiltered, give me your best shot!!!

Game: Cursed

In this game you play a highschool student, who stumbles upon an old stone tablet with his friend at a party. Your friend reads from the tablet and darkness consumes you for eight months, during those eight months the world has changed.

Turns out heroes are real and so are monsters, the world is barely hanging on as it tries to adapt to this changes, to this new world. Question is will you be able to do the same.

(This is my first time writing a synopsis, fingers crossed and hoping it hooks in a few suckers)

Currently I’m only done with the prologue (5%, 0 Chapters, 20k Words), unfortunately my updates will be inconsistent since I have some personal issues I’d rather not discuss, but I promise to update it as much as I can.

Enjoy (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/go/14143

57 Likes

Interesting concept. I’ll watch this game. Update it at your own pace.

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Love this! Feedback-wise, there are a lot of grammar/sentence structure things that can be improved sometime, but your writing is compelling and i’m bummed to see this fall to the bottom of the forum so quickly after seeing the work you’ve put into this. Hey you! Person skimming this topic! Read it!

4 Likes

Thanks for the feedback, this is only the prologue so yeah I didn’t expect much traffic right now, but since you are the only reviewer I’ve got so far I’m going to assume my writing is good enough to please most readers. I’ll go through and edit it and again thanks for the review.

PS: Totally agree with you on the end there, this a great book like why ignore me (⁠ᗒ⁠ᗩ⁠ᗕ⁠)

2 Likes

I’ll be honest my life has been a little rough recently so I was totally guilty of just following this one and not actually reading, but now that I have read it I’m really glad I did. Feedback wise I’m loving the story but at a few points it’s a little confusing to read due to the perspective changes not being entirely clear or it feeling like something is missing like a incomplete sentence or missing letter. But I’m really interested in seeing where the story goes

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Hi Kane thanks for the feedback and I’ll fix that when I’m revising it, also I hope you get through whatever is happening to you.

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