Holyyyshiiiitttt the story concept is soooo mindblowing awesome I didn’t expect that
Partly becuz I’ve been seeing this wip ages ago but didn’t try it out due to the MC fixed as a male but then apparently theres an update and u can play as female so I tried it out and holy cow its like … 
Crazy story have u read tower of god and god of high school slash nobleese oblige and record of ragnarok they’re kinda like these but smashed together and Im loving it, great work author
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I kinda wished there was an option to pick our MC’s skin color but I know that the author won’t add that in because of the origins of the MCs since they have the whole Nationality that’s in the stats page. Like when I made a female Zeus mc, I was hoping I could make her black with silver eyes and somehow even color my lighting to either black lightnings (that wasn’t meant to be a DC pun) or maybe even silver lightnings.
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It’s too early to tell, she’s only been in one fight, and I’m pretty sure she’s destined to lose that one no matter what.
I think it might be better to not try to mold her into a lesser version of the MC on a tactical level.
Fighting side by side with Zeus or Pele, her bringing Dracula’s stealthy style or Musashi Miyamoto’s skillful style would bring more options in a fight while neither Zeus nor Pele needs help bringing firepower to the fight, for example.
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That does make sense, I never thought of it in that way. I was following the same mindset as 0Meletii did. So if for example, you were Sun Wukong then with that mindset, the fighting style you would pick for Yoru would be Vlad? Since Wukong is strong in technique and power, especially if you use the boost to even both of them to 3.
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Yes, but I have to admit that I think teaching her the Vlad style seems like the best option for her to me.
Dracula’s stealthy style seems, to me, to make good use of both her raw power (veils to restrict opponents and reflect attacks) and the tricks (obscuring vision, teleportation, attacks from different directions) she can pull off with it.
So all things being equal, Dracula style is my default choice for her.
Although tactically I think I’d go for Lionheart style for Janus and Lucifer runs. Janus with his combat precognition could direct her in combat to make the most of her heavy artillery, and Lucifer with his telepathy could freeze people to make them sitting ducks for a coup de grace from her.
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I wish I was smart like you. I really didn’t think about those kinds of stuff at all. I don’t noticed that kinds of stuff unless someone tells or point it out to me. Anyway, I agree with Vlad’s style since the MC even said that she has much higher potenial than Vlad did so she can be very strong in the future. Now that I think about it, once we get to the scene where we can start training the Dawn Praetor, I think Ishtar, Arthur and Sun Wukong would be the best teacher for her. Ishtar can help her practice her flying abilities on how to make the best use out of them, maybe somehow even doing something similar to what Ishtar did in that whole fight and Arthur and Wukong can train her on “proper” techniques and fighting styles since I’m pretty sure the Cloud Praetor or most people didn’t even bother to teach her properly and our MC has the most experience given their long lifespan.
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When I play as Arthur, it just makes more sense storywise to teach her Miyamoto Musashi’s style since they both deal with swordsmanship and there’s also an flavor text where Arthur bitterly admits that Musashi was a superior swordsman and wouldn’t want to think just how far he would had went if he was immortal.
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I personally picked Musashi because he was clearly the one with the ‘hightest ceiling’ out of all the options. Lionheart in particular isn’t really worth training at since you can ALWAYS just put all your power into one attack when all else fail, you don’t need to make it your entier style.
And while Vlad is cool and fit her power pretty well, once you got the style down, it’s kinda it progress wise.
Meanwhile with Musashi’s style, there’s always more weapons to get better at, combos to refine and skill to sharpen.
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Vlad’s style is better for her, she manages to take perfect advantage of her skills, mainly because fast and lethal blows are much better at taking care of physically superior enemies, and she has the advantage of appearing from behind and delivering a deadly blow to the enemy
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The Musashi style does that but better tho.
I chose the Musashi style because, while Vlad’s style would have worked well with her, Musashi’s style comes across as a lot more effective moment to moment. The first things you work on with this style is the speed in which she can use her power. It lends itself to the greatest personal survivability. Vlad’s would work start to fail against someone with abilities that enhance their perception and can see through the tricks and gimmicks, but summoning weapons near instantaneously from anywhere to defend yourself has a much higher ceiling as long as you can physically keep up, which Yoru so far has shown to be able to do
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Akira Toriyama.
Liking the new update! Though in my opinion Ishtar keeping the crown of Gilgamesh was much more interesting and also made more sense than having notes of paper as her most treasured posession, also no offence but Ishtar’s new weakness is a bit contrived compared to her old backstory considering that the actual goddess Ishtar never really had anything to do with alchemy at all, to my knowledge anyways.
To add to that, having to smell lilies to survive feels pretty much antithetical to the goddess of war badass Ishtar was in the first demo and in a lot of stories.
In addition to that if you want to make Ishtar feel more unique from Lucifer or Arthur Id suggest possibly adding something like using a bow or similar ranged weapons which would achieve that without lesseníng her badassery.
In addition to that some stuff I noticed:
Summary
Iran should be Iraq, neither the Tigris or Euphrates flows through Iran.
‘The’ doubles up over here.
A bit nitpicky but Nitroglycerin is not really used as a military explosive since over a century and storing it can have very dangerous consequences, so using something like C4 or TnT instead would be just as recognizable and more realistic.
‘would have preferred’
There’s a pronoun variable missing in the middle (they carry should be she carries), als ‘that is beyond us’ works better in the sentence.
same with the pronoun here as well.
should be regimen not regiment.
‘You would sometimes speak to her’
Should just be ‘when they happen.’ seeing as the if contradicts the previous sentence.
‘as she sits’ sounds better, though this paragraph is still a tad awkward.
Some more missing pronoun variables.
Should be ‘rumored to be amongst the ten most powerful augmented in the world.’
Should be ‘Those two were the monsters in a world of monsters.’
Should be ‘He cannot even react or use his augment in time.’
Praetor
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Seconded. She went from melancholic but badass godess to … wilting flower. The crown was more recognizable as well. Gilgamesh’s “notes” just doesn’t have the same feel of history and impact, esp compared to something like Excalibur.
And even with the upheaval, the relationship with Gilgamesh lost all it’s luster if you make it a realistic marriage with compromises and hurt and never fully healing feelings. Even with the alchemical mishaps, I would have preferred a strong romance. It made her hanging onto the crown so relatable and as a player I just felt more for the character. Now it’s just a shoulder shrugging whatever, that happened instead of the character forming experience that reverberates with her until WW2 and beyond.
Since you asked for beta reading:
the dress up scene in the beginning says “You are wearing a dark gray high-low dress, it.” … either there’s something missing due to a coding error or you’ve got a typo. Since you define the dress as something with a V neck and floral lace in the next sentence, the high-low is not needed. Just keep it as “a dark grey dress” or add something like form fitting, or the material instead of just giving us the same info about it’s design twice.
(I’ll add more if I find it and aren’t too immersed in reading)
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I also agree. It seems like Ishtar has too much going on with her. At the moment she can fly, is immensely strong, she also has this nature/plant theme going on now as well as being incredibly beautiful / having an overbearing presence and also the alchemy and the Gilgamesh story. Its a lot compared to the other origins.
I’ve done a quick google search on Ishtar so this might not completely be accurate but the Sumerian version of Ishtar (Which I assume is the version that the author has taken inspiration from as most other versions have different names and aspects.) is the Goddess of War and Fertility/Sex.
It might be best to trim back Ishtar to these attributes, being represented by flight, strength and her beauty/presence. While also having her presence being her weakness which is tempered by the crown she was gifted by Gilgamesh. Or may be it should be just a circlet as walking around with a crown would be quite conspicuous. Or it could be magical and switch between a crown and a circlet depending on if its tempering or enhancing her powers. Just an idea.
Apart from that the fight was great, I liked the fact that you keep the clouded praetors spear. I did dislike the fact the we were forced to splatter the sniper, I would have preferred to have been given a choice. But turning around and saying “All who enter the battlefield should be prepared to give up their life” is badass.
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Arthur can fly using hoverboard(Excalibur)
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