Yesterday you were just a squire, but today you’re an aspiring battlemage! It was a good thing you glanced at Sir Kelton’s news scroll the other day, or you would never have seen the ad. “Learn from home!” it said, “Full battlemage qualification by mail!” it said. And now it’s finally here: Your very first battlemage assignment. It’s a bit… open-ended, though. Should you solve it with elemental magic? Or maybe you should use an illusion? Or some kind of dark necromancy? Or perhaps even a healing spell…
And don’t forget the “battle” part of battlemage – you still need to learn how to use a weapon of some kind. While you’re deciding all that, there’s still the whole squire thing. You know, the thing that’s funding this correspondence course? And Sir Kelton won’t be too happy if he catches you practicing magic, so you might want to act like you actually want to be a knight. Maybe win a tournament or two, or get in good with the royal family? Or if you really want to get on Kelton’s good side, prove yourself on the battlefield. Every hero had to make their start as a squire, right?
Master 4 kinds of magic
Compete in tournaments
Navigate royal intrigue
Defend your kingdom from mysterious invaders
Romance 4 different characters
Battlemage Correspondence Course is the working title of my WIP, the first ten chapters of which you could find here, but the link has been closed for beta testing. Thank you everyone who contributed to this thread!
Any and all feedback is welcome, including on the above text (did it hook you?). Thanks!
Thank you, Flame. I’ve been having trouble with these else statements. I think I’ll have to systematically go through and double check all of them are working.
I really like the story and where it’s going, but there’s something I feel I should bring up which could be entirely my mistake. The “Cowardice,” “Roughness,” and “Ambition” trait gains seem to be switched, at least right at the start.
For example, when you just sand there and wave at the Queen you gain Class, but if you bow respectfully you gain Roughness.
When you select “We will stand strong no matter what comes down those mountains” you gain Cowardice.
I think there’s more examples but you get my point; I could be mistaken, just because I don’t understand the way the stats ebb and flow doesn’t mean they’re working wrong, just thought I’d leave this here in case it is unintentional.
Good luck, I’ll be following this project closely.
Thanks, I’ll definitely have to take a look at that. It’s probably because these are opposed stats and a decrease in one means an increase in another. Are you sure you’re reading the stat screen correctly though?
I’m observing the same thing so far. Being polite or formal seems to increase my Roughness, being brave seems to increase Cowardice, at least based on the first few options I’ve gotten.
(I’ve only poked my head in to test that out so far, will be back with proper feedback when have time to actually play the game properly this evening )
I think so, I’m fairly experienced with these games, but I’m not infallible. I played through multiple times and came to the same conclusion each time. If I am in the wrong, I apologize.
Oh interesting. So I hadn’t noticed this before since your class is actually increasing (and all the stat checks therefore work) but the labels are flipped in the stat chart. Haha for now, you’ll have to imagine the stats mean the opposite of what they do. Good catch, thanks for spotting that!
Actually, it was a quick fix so I decided to just upload it. Should be good to go now (I hope). The else statement bugs have to come later though, sorry everyone.
Will look forward to the fixes. I know the error with speed has already been reported, but I’m also getting the error when I use strength. I presume it’s also part of the else statement errors but I wanted to bring it up just in case.
All told, I really liked it so far. I think you did a great job making all of the characters so far feel well-rounded, having things to like and dislike about them. I like the idea that you get a mini-mission per chapter that you can conceivably fail (I completely botched the chapter 3 assignment because I was worried about getting myself or Sir Kelton in trouble), although I’m curious what the possible penalties (or rewards?) of doing so might end up being.
I didn’t run into any crashes. The only technical (?) issue I ran into was that when the queen asked me what I knew about …uh, the other country that starts with an I, I told her I didn’t really know anything about them, and her reaction was something like “Good. It’s always wise to know your enemy,” which felt like an odd response to what I said. Otherwise everything felt like it flowed properly. I also think the third chapter felt like it flowed well in line with the other two.
All in all, I think it’s looking pretty good! Definitely looking forward to more.
Think I got a glitch - When fighting another squire, while using a staff, and using the overhead strike to quickly get 30 points, it next says I lost?
You take the staff in both hands and swing with all your might, bringing it down on the other squire’s head. He holds up his sword to block it, and it stops your staff like a brick wall. The impact jolts through your arms as they bounce off. As you’re falling backward, the other squire jabs you in the helmet, helping you on the way to the ground.
“Thirty points!” you hear the herald yell as you look at the sky from your back.
Then, the other squire appears over you, offering you a hand to help you up. “Thanks,” you mutter as he pulls you to your feet.
It’s over. You realize the crowd is cheering your opponent. Your stomach sinks. He removes his helmet and tosses his hair, looking like a champion. He bows to you, and you give a weak bow back.
You decide not to dwell on this. He had a sword, and you had a staff. You were fighting at a disadvantage from the start. Probably. Even though his sword was dulled. Anyway, it’s the knights’ tournament; today is about Sir Kelton. You wander back out of the ring to pull off your sweaty armor.
Edit: Forgot to say I had fun playing! Looking forward to more.
Interesting enough so far, got the same else error the others are complaining about
Notes:
It fees lacking in any introduction to your character or the world at large, It could probably do with a prologue and a more detailed world building/introduction.
No where in the preceding conversation is it implied that there is even an inkling of suspicion towards you performing magic, where do the thoughts come from
)
Here it is.
