I don’t think it’s a spoiler. The short answer is yes. That’s exactly why I phrased it that way. The very next part of the story is where you really start to define your character, and one of the things you get to decide is whether or not you character’s gender matches the one they were assigned.
And thanks for reading!
Still getting the error many others mentioned when typing in the name.
Choices are: Demand -> Shirt -> Charm -> Breakdown -> Haughty
Damn sorry I changed it, but didn’t upload it.
It’s fixed now I promise.
Thank you, I love what you’ve written so far and having this option! I’m looking forward to the next update!
Oh thanks. Sorry for the error. I hate that. There are going to be stats, but I haven’t started implementing them yet.
I’m trying to be careful about not closing paths off based on early choices so I’m going to wait until very late in the writing process to put the stats in. Actually I think I’ll put a note about stats in the top post.
You might want to add something after the word “between” because I honestly had no idea what you were trying to say until a page later, when you pointed out that the baker’s daughter was pouring the blood between the MC, the Warlock and Millie… it wasn’t until that point that I realized what you had meant to say before… sooooooooooo, yeah, you might want to add something after the word “between”…
Sounds interesting can’t wait for more
"they gave him the hear the will of dark gods "
I don’t quite understand this phrase , should it be " they gave him the power to hear the will of dark gods " ?
and i assume there were more than one dark god right , so the witches have more than on masters ? It would be nice if you can create the name of all those dark gods 
i don’t quite understand this phrase too … should it be " finished by dripping the last drops down his legs " ?
“Oh”, she mumbles …
i think this page exist some mix up with regard to the pronoun , charlie here is male… hence it should be he ?
Interesting read thus far, so are the witches seek vengeance against MC’s family ??
will the MC be a Witch hunter who is going to hunt all these witches ? and if the MC be given decision to accuse a person as a witch , will he/she need to provide solid proofs regarding such accusation ? In season of witches the movie, there were some theory regarding how to test whether that person is a witch or not , are you going to implement some methods to 'test" who are the actual witches ?
Thanks, those screen shots help so much.
The witches who have kidnapped you definitely…mean your family harm. It’s not all about revenge. Some of them are just afraid.
I can’t really answer that second question. Well I could, but it would sort of give the whole second act away. Sorry. I really want to.
oh it is ok… i was just curious of the MC’s story plot … like can we romance the witch ? or are we suppose to help the witch or destroy them ? that looks intriguing about capturing the witch , helping them will only make their faction seems too powerful … but of course we will need to read more into it
How old is Millie/Charlie? I know the WiP says they are a girl/boy, but that doesn’t really narrow down their age group in my opinion… also, is it just me, or does anyone else not trust Millie? I don’t know why, but for some reason I’m getting a few red flags pop up whenever I see her… maybe I’m just paranoid…
Yes, when I go back over that first scene I’m going to have make that more clear. Millie/Charlie is supposed to be a nearly adult teen, the same age as the main character, but I really didn’t make that clear.
You had me at witch lol. But seriously loving it so far, very nice with tons of potential.
Besides what others have already pointed out, the only part that I kinda raised an eyebrow to is when we free Millie. She heavily distrusts us one minute and then hugs us the next, which I understand we’re in a horrible situation but just seems a bit off to me (maybe it’s just me too). I also wished we had another choice of where we didn’t hug her at all. I don’t trust anyone, and besides helping her I don’t think I want to be hugging some total stranger after just getting kidnapped.
I played with Charlie, not Millie, but yeah, I also felt suspicious of them.
Ok, that makes better sense. Now here’s a question… which is technically just me nitpicking 
; um, why is (in my case) Millie shorter than my MC? Honestly, I kind of always imagine all of my MCs to be kind of on the short side… like me… so it’s always kind of confusing when it is outwardly mentioned that a character is shorter than mine… and I know that’s technically my fault for automatically imagining my character as shorter than everyone else. Um, I just noticed I was rambling, my bad . To put my long question short, could you add an option in the WiP that lets us choose how short or tall our characters are? If it’s too complicated to code, then never mind 
This seems like a very good start. I do have a couple of comments though.
Firstly, when I “choose” to call out after getting the hood off, it seems a bit weird. It’s hard to put into words, but it just feels a bit arbitrary and unnecessary? 
I mean, the choice is forced, even though it has no effect, but the MC doesn’t even actually call out, they just whisper loudly. Why are they even “calling out” in the first place if they don’t want to be heard…? 
The second relates to the first meeting with Charlie: the player should probably get more of an input in the conversation. For example, I could choose to believe him about the witches instantly, or ask him questions about them (and himself), and so on.
Anyway, otherwise it all looks good. Good luck with the game! 
I enjoyed it! You make use of a lot of short sentences, which gave me some Glen Cook vibes. Short sentences are good if you’re trying to slow the pace down or be dramatic. But I wouldn’t use several of them back-to-back, unless I was trying to stress repetition. You’ll risk coming off as monotonous if you give each mundane action their own sentence.
Stats are very important to these games, even if you aren’t trying to recreate an RPG system. I would strongly caution against trying to fit stats in after you’ve written your story. There’s not going to be holes for them to fit into, so you’ll end up smashing your choices entirely.
In these games you just have to think of stats as part of your outlining. Once you have a small but solid set of stats, your player interactions will spring to mind. Good stats give you ideas for choices, not take them away.
