Yeye thanks. Also I was more creeped out than I would’ve because I thought “sought over” was meant only in the professional sense instead of romantic interest. So I was confused.
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definitely not meant like that. it’s explained a little later in chapter one that Blane is basically eye candy in the department. i’ve also updated the chapter to change the text so it’s hopefully not as weird. thanks for your feedback!
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This was a really enjoyable demo. I especially like how well you portray the longstanding relationship and trust between A and the mc. I also really like Ryland, although, playing a quiet/stoic mc felt a little weird during the confrontation with them, (mostly just them quipping to themself, it might be nice to see more non-verbal reactions to make it feel a little less one-sided?) another thing that felt a little off was that when choosing to fight Blane that (as a weapon focused mc) the only options were to cheat or lose(also, in my mind a leg-sweep is far from cheating/playing dirty, something like aiming for the eyes/throat/groin could make more sense and be more justifiably upsetting) if the reasoning is because we’re exhausted from the workout/still injured it would be nice to see that represented more consistently throughout the fight (the only time I recall it really showing up is like right before the turning point).
I’m excited to meet K 'cause they seem like they could be a lot of fun. I also think that the traps skill is a really cool (thing?). Is there a specific reason that the cunning stat represents convincing/speaking? I haven’t really seen it defined that way before. Anyways, this was a fun read so far and I’m looking forwards to more! 
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I was actually wondering about the same thing 
This is my strongest stat because I like persuasive and charismatic MCs, and it’s a bit weird to have it described as cunning, especially considering they are very open and honest.
I think it’s because, in a hunt situation, you’d use it to trick your opponent into thinking this or that by talking to them.
But it still felt a little bit weird to me because the implications of the word are a bit on the negative side?
I didn’t really mention it though, since I thought maybe it was just me. But I guess if someone else asks, there’s at least two of us 
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didn’t think about this but it really is just Rylan’s personality to banter with themself. it fills in the gaps of silence (which they dislike). that’s why when the mc stares at them, they respond “the stoic ones are never fun.”
Iive gotten a few comments about this so i will definitely have to go back and make it more clear why playing dirty is the only way to win. and since you bring it up, a leg sweep is considered cheating because it’s supposed to be a contactless battle meaning no punches, tripping etc. i’ll go back and make this more clear as well.
yeah that’s pretty much it. i would change it to ‘persuasive’ but it doesn’t really fit. what the mc did to Rylan was trickery and deception, which is different from convincing them to do something. the latter is much more polite. i personally don’t see cunning as a negative thing but i guess it’s got a bit of a connotation.
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Thanks for the clarification I wasn’t really disappointed(?) that the stoic options were… stoic, more just lamenting that my choice of roleplay wasn’t really proactive(?) in developing a realtionship(?) with Rylan (It make 100% sense though and I feel like a stoic mc and Rylan could be really funny in the future). Will the cunning stat always be word based deception? I usually play fairly quiet/shy characters so I rarely go for like charm and stuff, but I also love playing ‘cunning’ characters in the sortof quick thinking-outwit you kind of way.
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Love the story so far and the characters. Can’t wait to see more. The agency looks a little shady for me and I don’t know why I’m beginning to suspect that Caine’s missing is related to that… Or maybe I’m a little paranoid 
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God, the demo was soooo good! I LOVED the plot and how the story progresses…
The characters were interesting and the one who caught my eye was A. Really looking forward to more interactions with them-- and other characters too! Eagerly waiting for the next update!
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i mean it’s really just first impressions at that point. all mcs will be able to romance anyone so being stoic or less talkative won’t deter anything in the future.
not necessarily but i think words will always be a big part in helping deceive someone/throw someone off track.
hmmm guess you’ll have to wait and see… thank you for the kind words!! <3
aw thank you! i adore A and am so happy that they’re getting attention. so glad you enjoyed <3
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Coding error in chapter 2.This choice:
Rylan… “relies heavily on ${r_his} supernatural abilities.”
This choice skips the “else” portion of the code: “I think about how {r_he} sent me and {Arian} flying into the wall and rub my ribs subconsciously. “Yes,†I reply.”
thanks for the catch! it’s fixed now.
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I very much enjoyed my time with the story. The only criticism I have right now is minor; some of the (Flirt) options provide two options, Bold/Shy, but some only seem to have one option and it almost always read as bold.
For example, training with Blane only has (paraphrased) ‘We could have shared’, which the choice reads to me as a very seductive bold style flirt.
I know this is a pretty minor thing, and I really enjoyed the quality of the demo, both in presentation and in content. Adding it to my list!
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Fascinating start
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Ah, that’s true. I didn’t think of it when I did my “report”, but it’s true that it bothered me a bit - at least in the specific example you mentionned.
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i’m definitely aware of this and will put some new and more balanced flirt options in my next update. i was struggling to come up with some so that’s part of the reason, but seeing as i tend to choose more shy options when i play if games myself i’m surprised that many of my own are bold. strange. thanks for the feedback! <3
there’s two options for flirting with A when doing the report so if you’re talking about a lack of shy choices there i’m not sure what you’re talking about. i’ll add something else for the training scene with Blane though!
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Ah, I was talking about that one, yeah.
Sorry, I didn’t express myself correctly! What I mean is that I’ve seen A has two variants, and I’ve also seen more reserved choices with Blane before too, so it felt weird to suddenly be forced to be bold in that one scene! (or not flirt at all if I want to avoid bolder choices)
Overall, I like games that offer “shy flirt” option, but not all authors do so. If you just CAN’T do that in a game, then well, okay, I’ll go with bolder choices. But I tend to be bothered when I use either shy or bold flirt style, and then sometimes you have a choice where only one of the two options is present.
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that’s completely understandable. i just didn’t see a way to be shy after having a fight but after a bit of consideration i’ve already come up with something haha. definitely a mistake on my end so i’ll write something up as soon as i have the time.
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I just found this gem and I absolutely love it so far!
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Very interesting, easy and enjoyable to read and I love the range of attitude from both characters as well as those offered to us. I shan’t miss out on this adventure. 
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oh thank you! that’s so nice of you to say.
thank you so much! i can’t wait to show you where the story goes.
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