sets sword down
As you wish, Your Eminence.
To be fair Sydney would probably the one we end up with if we didnāt have a choice, considering that people that go through trauma like the mc would āfallā for someone like them even when itās a superficial āthey are nice to me therefore I like themā.
holds up sword
I will fight with you my animalish frie-
okay
Freudian psychology might say that MC would fall for someone just like their mother! But this is definitely not scientific and honestly feelings are so complicated.
If youāre talking about the Oedipus complex I donāt think there are many if any cases that involve the mother being abusive maybe controlling but most tend to be caring and loving.
But like you said feelings are complicated.
I think they meant that typically someone abused by a parent will seek a partner who is also abusive.
Freudian psychology just states that people seek out partners that have similar traits to their parents. So yes, though it isnāt a widely accepted theory, it means that MC would be attracted to a more controlling partner
But Freudian psychology is all BS, so I agree that if this were a book or something Sydney would likely be the love interest. The whole āfalling for the ātherapistāā thing would fit well with the story
If we are comparing to the real word, a lot of people with this kind of history tend to either keep looking for a rescuer ( like Syd) or will keep finding themselves is similar situations (people like their abusers)
The extent to which Iām able to relate to my MC is pretty troubling and also interesting. I like that I can be a sarcastic, reclusive nail-biter, and surprisingly you managed to nail down exactly how nail biters behave, so excellent work. This is a really fun WIP, and the characters are super interesting. Iām really liking Dani a lot!
The one thing that kiiiiiiinda gets me is that the game kind of treats same-sex affection (Dani kissing MC on the cheek) as a bit traumatizing for the MC, which I understand is part of the backstory but also gives off a subtle implication of the MC being straight/possibly homophobic. If I was to make a suggestion in that regard, maybe give the player the choice as to whether theyāre comfortable with same-sex affection despite the abuse?
Overall, Iām really looking forward to this game. Hope you find success and time to write, because I really wanna see where this is going!
It doesnāt have to do with them being the same gender because the line is the same with my male MC and female Dani.
Iām aware, but what Iām saying is that, regardless of the similarities across genders, it reads as possibly straight/homophobic. I donāt believe that was the authorās intention, I am simply pointing out how it came across when I was reading.
It probably has to do with the trauma from the MCs mom, probably her kissing them on the cheek. That could be made clearer probably.
Celeste herself was homophobic. That line is not supposed to be read as the MC being homophobic or identifying as straight. Rather, itās supposed to read as them not knowing what to do with Daniās open affection because theyāre not used to it (if youāre a different gender than Dani) and, also, they were raised to see same-sex relationships as a sin (if youāre the same gender as Dani).
As a lesbian myself, I believe itās important for that distinction to be made. Iāll definitely rewrite that part so it makes more sense.
Also, Dani kissing MC on the cheek is something that freaked the MC out because they dislike touching; same reason why they tensed when Alex attempted to hug them. This will continue showing up throughout the game.
And thatās why you should never write and also proofread at 3 am!
Anyway, thank you for the compliments, @trevers17! Nail biters unite!!
Iām late to the update oh no oh no!
But the new characters are wonderful! Max seems like a really cool person to be friends with and Alex deserves all the best things! They both seem really nice and I would love to see more of them!
Also, I would die for Dani, thank you and good night.
This game doesnāt even have 100 posts yet and thereās already shipping wars and discussions about Freudian psychology? Well color me interested in seeing what the fuss is about.
Playthough Summary
- Interesting mood setting for the nightmare sequence at the start. I could almost feel our head getting melted offā¦ shudder. Sounds about as horrifying as you portray it.
Apparently, being handcuffed against your will by your deranged mother was some people have called "traumatizing".
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This sentence is worded awkwardly. What tense is it in?
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Iām interested in knowing what this ācorporationā that pops up a few times during the demo is, and what exactly theyāre doing to sponsor us. I donāt know much about abuse and custody cases and all that, so it comes across as weird for me to have attracted the attention of a company.
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In general, Iād also be more interested in learning more about the world around us in general, since you mention concepts that donāt quite make sense to me and I feel as if Iām missing some context, like the Medallions and this Naomi person.
It was especially bad when you were nervous; you'd bite them so hard you'd actually hurt yourself, either from pulling a cuticle or from simply exterminating most of your fingernails. Celeste used to yell at you stop it, claiming that you weren't acting like a proper lady, and that you were ruining your nail polish (she eventually gave up on painting your nails), but it just made you even more anxious and prone to continue to do it.
- Can confirm. Nailbiting is a bitch of a habit, and not just because it makes it hard to pick up coins off of the ground.
"Why not leave, then?" Although it's the first time Dani has mentioned her distaste for the bar, it's always been a bit implicit. You've never quite understood why she didn't just go work somewhere else; this clearly wasn't making her happy.
- I feel like thereās a ānotā missing somewhere in here.
You hate this constant repetition of your name. As a matter of fact, you hate that Alex already knows your name, and where you live, and that you're with the corporation, and you don't know anything about her. It makes you feel open and vulnerable, but in a dirty way; like she's a stranger who knows every one of your secrets, and is just waiting for the right opportunity to humiliate you or berate you.
- I found this paragraph a bit awkward considering that Iām trying to angle towards a more social and optimistic character. I figured that they would view Alex more as a potential new friendly neighbor instead of a nuisance who has unlawful knowledge over my privacy. This goes for many of the scenes after this one too that involve Alex. It just seems like a sudden U-turn on how my character sees the world.
"I come home." You state matter-of-factly. "What else would I do? It's usually pretty late."
- Most people would say āI go home.ā
Overall I do like the game so far, and Iām interested in seeing where it and the elementals weāve met so far goes from here. My only real complaints are the lack of background on the world weāre in. Iām under the impression that weāre in some sort of Wizard of Oz-esque world, but I donāt really know for sure since there isnāt really much worldbuilding outside of what is in our immediate vicinity. I know that itās not strictly necessary to iron out all the details of the setting right away, but stuff like the ācorporationā mentioned a few times throughout the demo so far have me gnawing at my curiosity as to what they are or do, exactly, considering theyāre at least tangentially important to us.
Freudian psychology, while not considered scientific at all for the most part, does have merits to it that modern-day psychologists do accept, such as the idea of a subconscious. But yeah, even if the rest of that whole school doesnāt have much scientific merit in todayās world, itās still something to think about for this game and how even if you take away the source of someoneās abuse and troubles, it will take even longer for the water caused by that source to ādrain outā, if you will. Still worth thinking about since the game does have a sort of psychological aspect to it, mostly regarding how Celeste is still getting into our head even when sheās no longer physically present to harm us.
I personally interpreted that part the same way you did, but at the same time I could see where @trevers17 was coming from. The paragraph that talked about how we were raised to view same-sex relations as a sin comes before the part where we mention Dani kissed us on the cheek and how we ādid not react well.ā Itās these two pieces of information happening back-to-back that could lead to someone thinking that weāre homophobic as well instead of just simply not touchy-feely like Dani is, despite us going āoh god pls no hugsā the sentence immediately before that.
Interesting thought though, and feel free to disregard if you feel that it doesnāt fit with what youāre going for: the game, while being a slice of life genre as a whole, focuses on our character readjusting to social life after untold years of abuse by our mother right? It might make for an interesting, if touchy, plot point if we were given a choice to explore our own confused and befuddled feelings over what our mother has indoctrinated us with our whole lives and what we actually believe deep down, including LGBT topics. It might make the game a bit more dark than you may be going for, but it could also be an interesting subject to explore since weāre coming to our own conclusions on how we feel instead of what our control freak mouthpiece told us we feel.
lol i know right
See, this is on purpose, and Iāve always known itās not for everyone. Youāre thrown into the world, and names and places are just supposed to be mentioned as the MC recalls them, and eventually be figured out by the player. Of course, this doesnāt mean I want things to be needlessly confusing, which is why Iāll be taking your points into consideration.
Oh, this is absolutely going to be an important aspect of the MCās development and evolution as the game passes by.
Thank you for the corrections (I tend to accidentally eat some words a lot, it seems), and for your feedback! It means a lot!
Oh sure, Iām aware that some authors do like to respect their readersā intelligence by giving them enough hints to figure stuff out on their own without explicitly telling them, and thereās nothing wrong with that, itās just that Iām in the crowd where I tend to not like being kept in the dark about stuff as itās quite the pet peeve of mine. However, itās not enough to detract from the overall experience of recovering fluffiness and angst that I think youāve balanced out very well so far, minus the weird shift in tone I mentioned in my playthrough summary. Just different strokes for different folks, is all.
Youāre welcome. I hope that my feedback makes your game a more wonderful experience for all.
Oh, yeah, I forgot to reply to that, but Iāll definitely re-read the scene and find a way to balance out the Optimistic!MCās natural skepticism with their attempts to remain positive.
Yep, I suppose thatās what it comes down to!
I love the plot and how MC see things. I canāt wait for the whole story.
Thank you!