I tend not to read a codex. I can’t remember running into any unknown words that took me out of the story or where context was insufficient to explain them. In terms of maps… let’s just say I’ve never been good with directions. You could write “down north in Memphis” and I wouldn’t bat an eye… which is maybe an argument for a map, but I’ve also never really found an exact understanding of local geography necessary for my understanding of a plot/enjoyment of a story if you’re worried about the extra work.
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I’m not much for codexes either, but I know people who are, so if some of you would find it useful, then I’ll do it. It’s not gonna be too much extra work of I start it now and just add a new entry every time something comes up. There aren’t many foreign words in the text right now, and I think most are explained at least once, but I might add more later or re-use old ones without a second explanation.
And also… I just love maps lol. Especially the ones I handmade 
Actually, it might be relevant later when you will choose where you want to take your investigation next 
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Maps do add immersion it’s fuel imagination
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The nile flows from the south headed north though far as the citys go im not to sure where there placement are. As for the wording if that was the question it works lol
When it comes to a codex, I usually only bother with reading about characters. If there are unfamiliar words or language…and the codex offers a brief description…I’ll read those to.
Now, I’m a little late with this update. But love it! Definitely the route I would take with my Vizier Kid. Watching the boat race, getting angry yet strangely sympathetic to a goose, dancing with Qenna… Chef’s kiss
I think that goose and my Yunre have a lot in common. Both want to be left alone and free, both like to bite it to the man, and both weren’t loved enough as kids. Lol.
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NEW UPDATE
The priest origin is now playable in chapter 1!
It’s very linear compared to the other origins, but the reason for that is because the priest has to be at the ceremony for the story to make sense, so you can’t run around in the city like with the others. Right now, some choices are still greyed out, so you have to pretty much go over the worst outcome of the ceremony. Hopefully you will still like it lol
What the new update includes:
- around 28k words added to the demo, so the total word count reaches 151 000. According to my randomtests, an average playthrough on any origin is around 20k words.
- there were lots of grammar and typo fixes, thanks to you guys (and lots more coming probably)
I decided that I will add a codex. I didn’t do it yet but I will probably have time for it over the weekend. This new update is also kind of the biggest yet, and it also means that all in all, since the first version of the demo went up, I wrote almost a 100 thousand words. That was in a single month, because I think the first version was up online on the 13th of August, exactly one month ago ~imaginary pat on my shoulder~ I think this might be a personal record.
So, hopefully you will like playing the priest, and I’m waiting for feedback!
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Everywhere you look, you see servants rushing about, doing the last finishing touches for the upcoming party. They are setting up giant dessert tables under the shade of palm trees and white canopies.
AHA! So there are dessert tables in the palace gardens!
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I was waiting for someone to spot it!! hahaha
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Yunre(noble): noooooo! My sweets. 
Seneb(thief): What!? Where? They held out on me! 
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Yes, it’s because the thief arrived much later at the palace, when the party was already over and all the dessert gone
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Congrats on your progress, that is an impressive amount of work for one month.
Awww, my priest is a total sweetheart. The scene when they were so torn about whether or not to pet the elephant was too cute. I also had fun reading about the different patron gods. I am ready to buff the party!
"Honestly, you half-expected your subordinates to just start the ceremony without you by now, but knowing that you are two hours late and still managed to get here in time, is…
Well, it feels like some sort of miracle, to be frank."
Ahhh, delicious dramatic irony.
Awww, my apprentice is so sweet and takes after my priest’s habit of tripping into baskets, I sure hope nothing bad happens to her…!
Woooow, the scene after the worst worst outcome was very good… what an ominous variable to have set.
Qenna you dick lol. Hmmm, so you can read if people are enchanted by looking in their eyes. I wonder if he’d see something in the noble’s eyes
Typos/Comments
“You have a god-given talent for anything handmade that sometimes makes even master craftsmen to shame.”
puts
…
“Especially when you were approached by non other than the vizier himself,”
none
…
“You see oxen leaded carts,”
Do you mean the carts are led by oxen? You could say “oxen-led carts”.
…
“Only for some ceremonies at most, but rumor is, he’s very busy guarding the borders or some similar mundane human bullcrap.”
The way this is phrased makes the priest sound like they’re not human lol… which could be true now that my priest died. How exactly does one become a spirit I wonder
…
“The guard’s voice breaks you out of your nostalgia as he hands you a small seal, Before you can step into the palace compound, the guard hands you a small seal, dangling from a simple leather cord.”
Looks like the code is breaking here for trans mc.
…
"You put it in your neck and lay it on top of your chest. "
around/on
…
"Only some insane person with way too much resources to spare. "
many
…
"“Could you please calm down?” one of your colleagues rolls her eyes at you after you nearly trip and fall head-first into a basket of grapes.
“I’m trying, I’m trying,” you grunt as you scramble out of the thing and back on your feet."
This part feels a little unclear, did we actually trip and fall or nearly trip and fall?
…
“Each apprentice holds a basket or tray with the equipment, and you all take a beeline for the slightly elevated podium,”
make
…
“The vizier would be livid if you bungled this opportunity that he has so generously extended to you, and he would have all the right to.”
to be. God, bungled is such a good word
…
“Your eyes weren’t this black before. This colorless, lightless pools of darkness.”
these
…
“He leaves the tent, and you have a few minutes in solidarity to be able to adjust to your current predicament.”
solitude?
…
“Yeah, well… thanks’s for giving me the benefit of the doubt then,”
thanks
…
“It must be one of the guest rooms for the more important members of the staff because it’s a bit more fancyful than you expected.”
fanciful
…
“When you ask what this is all for, she gives you an apologetic grimace. “Ah, I don’t rightly know, mi’ . Someone wanted’a meet ya, so I’m supposed’a dress ye up.””
It looks like when you set the priest’s gender the $lady variable stays blank.
…
“Hudjefa always told you that it reminded him of burnt clay bricks, which makes you feel belong, even though you rarely see the same color on other people.”
feel like you belong
…
“There is a small pause in the conversation then, one that he uses to gauge your reaction, and you, to start inwardly freaking out even more.”
This sentence tripped me up a bit, I think it would be more clear as "There is a small pause in the conversation then, one that he uses to gauge your reaction, and that you use to start inwardly freaking out even more.
…
“What they are saying makes too much sense, so you only half-heartedly ask, “what about my temple?””
capitalization
…
This is more of a QOL request, but it would be nice when we are naming the mc to have an option to return to the fem/masc/neutral choice so we can look at all the names without having to reload.
…
“Nowadays, you managed to tweak your appearance in such a way that most people can’t even tell the difference, or if they can, they just choose to ignore it. In your profession, it really doesn’t matter anyway.”
Hmmm, I get you’re trying to be vague here but I’m not sure how well this works for a nonbinary mc. Maybe something like “… most people are unsure of your gender.”
…
"The person looks up, and that’s when you recognize him. It’s Qenna. Who else. You aren’t even surprised at this point.
He sways for a moment in one place, then straightens up, a glorious grin brightening his face as he lifts a huge mug into the air.
“Everyone, at ease! My beer is still intact!”
Yeah, that’s Qenna alright
Who else would have the nerve to just casually break through the line of four imperial guards, and the only thing they fuss about is their beer? Only Qenna, evidently."
I don’t think the priest (with my choices, at least) has any reason to characterize Qenna as a drunk yet.
…
““Damn right it was,” Qenna grins. He has a deep, booming voice that seems to echo in the small room and it makes you a bit nervous. Or maybe it’s the way he keeps staring at you. Or the penetrant stench of the stale beer. Or the fact that his spirit is invisible and she could be anywhere around you.”
Or, as we now know, five invisible spirits that could be anywhere.
…
"First it was Amun, and as Narmer caught his tears in his palm, they turned into a gleaming green crystal. Or black. Or something. You don’t really remember the details. Then came Osiris, who wept a green crystal. Wait, it was Osiris with the green crystal, so then Amun was the black one. Anyway, after that, came Isis or… Thoth? Either of them, and then three others. Details, details, nobody cares. "
Hmmm, this is up to you but maybe the priest would have paid more attention to the details about the gods than other backgrounds?
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Wow I can’t thank you enough for all the help and feedback seriously 
Also… me and my habit of starting a sentence, forgetting halfway what I was gonna write, and then continue a different way, thus resulting in lots of stupidly made up words 
(I also tend to mix up similar sounding words lol you have probably noticed by now)
Yessss I hoped someone would choose it! I had fun writing that part (: It will give you some extra content later on. There is also a bit of 4th wall breaking there with The Thing that lets you know what happens to the priest character if you don’t choose that origin.
What makes you think Qenna hasn’t seen it already the moment they met the noble? 
I honestly thought the name choice already included the return options so thanks for pointing it out I think I might have deleted it at one point because the quicktests tend to get stuck on that part. I’ll make sure to fix it once the whole chapter 1 goes back into one file! Until then please bear with it 
Good point about the Weeping Gods tale. I’ll figure out something for that too!
I’m not saying you are definitely onto something but… . Although right now, the MC is still boringly human, even if you died during the ceremony. But you might be able to change that at the end of the game.
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You’re welcome! I figure the most I can provide in exchange for letting us read the story early is editing/feedback 
Much to think about…
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Wait …if I was a priest of Mut…and I sobered a man with my magic…
Glances somewhat evilly at Qenna and smirks
Qenna: …no. Oh hell no. Don’t. You. Dare.
Now I want this. LMAO. Every time Qenna shows up to a meeting where my priest is present, he stealth heals Qenna’s drunk status just to annoy him. 
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I think Qenna would genuinely start to hate you after a while if you keep that up 
Maybe Narmer would pull you aside at one point and gently explain that what you’re doing is hurting Qenna so please stop I mean, it sounds hilarious but damn the truth will be so much worse than you expect
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That’s some bro love there what’s there without some prank and shenanigans
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Oh no. I wouldn’t want to actually harm Qenna. Fine…besides, I’m more a Set follower. Lol
Summary
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I recommend choosing the angry option after Qenna comes into the tent, and then once they both leave, go talk to Tabiry (but don’t ask her questions about the case) 
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I am adoring the varieties of origin (which I assume was your goal) and I absolutely love Narmer. I think the priestess origin might be my fav 
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HAHAHA Sorry, Qenna, but this is hilarious. Mut follower should get the opportunity to do this at least once
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