Wars of Eren

Hello, this will be the main WIP. I didn’t like the previous stories, there were few romantic options, and I didn’t like the story, so that’s why I expand it.


Eren is a peninsula situated in the northwest, surrounded by unnatural tall mountains. The empire’s legions retreat after failing to take the mountain fortress. Deal with the region’s Politics while trying to stop the cruel gods of Eren from controlling your mind.

Political map.

The city of Elsa.

The mountain fortress.

shield8

The Royal Family of Narva.

King Gregory.
Gregory

Queen Julissa.
Julissa

Princess Emma.
Emma

Princess Ellen.
Ellen

shield (3)

The Royal Family of Nysa.

King Jared.
Jared

Queen Raina.
Raina

Prince Gavin.
Gavin

Princess Vienna.
Vienna

shield (2)

The Royal Family of Sulston.

Queen Amoura.
Amoura

Queen Eleanor.
Eleanor

shield (1)

The Royal Family of Helgum.

King Michael.
Michael
Queen Rosalee.
Rosalee
Prince Robert.
Robert
Prince Austin.
Austin

shield (5)

The Royal Family of Aliech.

king William.
4a1c57ce48aef7306018356df479

Queen Arabella.
053fa29028358d533f7825cda5a0

Princess Faye.
34e13268227061f0e302a7cb2445

shield (6)

The Royal Family of Aden.

Duke Jeffrey.
Jeffrey

Duchess Bella.
99533eee8253c4f5e2bf18db654a

shield (4)

The Royal Family of Zaseon.

king Callum.
f1a18c303aa901360ad085b21375

Queen Julissa.
Julissa

Queen Amoura.
Amoura

Prince Robyn.
520959f8cf8be42ba69fa2e07547

RO.

Eleanor
Your cousin, Queen Eleanor of Sulston.
Bria
Bria, the pirate Queen of the kalkan clan.
Stella
Lady Stella, Sir Ronald’s daughter.
Nela
Empress Nela.
Vienna
Princess Vienna of Nysa.
James
James, your personal guard.
Kein
Kein, the military governor of Melson and commander of the twenty-three legion.
Gavin
Prince Gavin of Nysa.
Robert
Your rival, Prince Robert of Helgum.
Jeffrey
Duke Jeffrey of the Duchy of Aden.

DEMO:

Here is my plan for this year. I will be busy for the next month then I will be free to write.

  • Add stats.
  • Finish the full demo with at least six chapters before the end of the year.
  • Finish my language and writing courses, then improve the demo with better writing.
  • Add more art and maybe hire an editor.
126 Likes

Screenshot 2022-05-09 075647

@Fat_cat “My prince, it won’t happen again.” my mc is female. :neutral_face:

Fixed.

1 Like

@Fat_cat This is really good. i just wanna know have the personality traits been enabled? out of all the conversational options selected nothing moved.

personality traits are still a work in progress, I will add them before the next update.

3 Likes

download (11)

1 Like

I like it. But is there going to skin color customizing because I’m dark skin and the part my and the part where there is a girl that supposed to look like me yet she’s several shades lighter throws me off.

looking forward to this!

That was bad explaining on my part; only her eyes and hair looks like you.

As for skin color, I’m trying to think about something. The problem for me is the region itself is situated in the north and is cut off from the rest of the continent, which makes it a problem, but still, I will try to think of something; maybe I can add a different families portraits.

6 Likes

I found a bug. When I chose male mc it said I was queen in the show stats.

1 Like

Fixed.

Freaking love it when authors have a large world and put in the effort to give us art, maps, and even house banners!

Now here come the critiques.
Your stats screen first.


Prince should be capitalized. Actually, a lot of mistakes found in your WIP are misspelling or capitalization issues. I recommend using Grammarly to help out a bit. You can use the free version by dumping your paragraphs in there and follow along as it gives you suggestions for what would work better and fix any obvious mistakes that can harm a reader’s experience.
The second issue is see with the stats menu is the Knowledge_and_Tactics: 20%
You don’t have to underscore to show a space in the stat itself.

Choice of Games itself has very good beginner tips for the stats screen and naming, as said here
all you really gotta do is this
*stat_chart
text name Nom de Guerre
percent leadership Serpent’s Tongue
percent strength Thews and Sinews

What this means is you will have the percentage bar using the variable “leadership” while having it named Serpent’s Tongue. All you have to do is basically write the variable FIRST, and THEN write what you’d like it to be called in the stats menu.

This helps you have an easy time writing your variable down while coding, while having the expanded name show on the stats menu. Imagine having to write ${Serpent’s_Tongue} each and every time when you can just write ${ST} and have it equal Serpent’s Tongue to the reader!

Finally, another big hint id love to share with you is the ChoiceScript IDE that can help you organize and find bugs quickly without having your readers hit snags in the story and be unable to continue. You right click the title of your work:
download (8)

Following this, you scroll down to the"TEST PROJECT button and press. Itll open up two option, Quick Test and Random Test.
download (8)
You hit random test to have the computer play your game for you within seconds, reporting any bugs and issues it may find within your code so your readers don’t have to!!

As you can see, it found a bug in my code that would’ve made my readers have to stop their reading and crash on them :frowning:


It says that my label tycoon1 was used twice, leading to a loop since the game wouldn’t know where to progress next. Lets check if its right…

As we can see, my *goto tycoon1 indeed tells the script to head to my *label tycoon1, which we see here…but it says there’s two? This is on line 779, and the second *label tycoon1 is located in line 718. Lets see if it exists!

Oof…We can all see my boo boo. I must’ve been coding away as i always do, and instead of placing the *goto command, i mistakenly placed the *label command which lead to the loop!!

Lastly, i wish you good luck with this, hope to see more updates from you!!!

19 Likes

The author even added a wincest ro.

6 Likes

This is really helpful, Thank you. By the way, I like your story a lot, and I wish you good luck.

10 Likes

I love the first story even though it wasn’t finished and i can already tell it will be good story

4 Likes

What some authors do when they have art, they keep the art for everyone, but the MC’s family in game, then when people ask as to why MCs family doesn’t have any artwork, you can explain that it’s due to the fact that MCs look changes depending on the player

5 Likes

Truly person of culture, may the wincest movement spread!

5 Likes

I love the story so far hopefully a save system in the future.

2 Likes

I think this story has a lot of potential, but I think I’m gonna wait for the next update to happen before I play through the story

1 Like

looking forward to see more of this game!

but umm… i don’t know how to feel about this.


i know it’s supposed to be children talking but the whole “he was going to hit your mother but he didn’t so he can’t be that bad” line is… kinda problematic.

6 Likes