VERTEX FALL (urban fantasy / romance / psychological horror WIP - CHAPTER 1 - 43K - amnesiac MC)

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Hi! I’ve been working on this solo project for quite some time, and now that Chapter 1 is finally finished, I’ve decided it’s ready to show to a wider audience.

I won’t hide the fact that, with a story built heavily around mystery, feedback is especially valuable to me along the way, to see what resonates and what kind of questions or theories the story leaves you with.

So, let me introduce you to VERTEX FALL.

DEMO - CHAPTER 1 (43K)

OTHER LINKS:

Tumbrl

Patreon

Vertex Fall is a dark paranormal suspense, heavy on romance and psychological horror, about piecing together the shattered fragments of your past and exposing the meaning behind your scars.

“Something horrible has happened to you, something your wretched mind has ripped from your consciousness.”

Confront the trauma, the forced proximity to strangers and people you’ve forgotten, and dig into the blank spot in your past, seeking answers even if they terrify you.

Will it ultimately lead you to recovery or perdition?

It’s your past. Shape it.

FEATURES
  • Play as a male or female amnesiac with many, many secrets
  • Navigate the tension of sharing an apartment with a long-lost friend and strangers who might not want you there.
  • Romance your devoted friend, the guy who initially dislikes you, or someone far harder to define.
  • Uncover the truth about your scars.
  • Shape your past through fully interactive flashbacks and ultimately face the consequences of your actions.
ROMANCE OPTIONS

KARLA (F) - 22

The best friend you don’t remember. She’s determined to help you recover, but the person you’ve become might be worlds apart from the one she used to cherish.

CAMERON (M) - 24

The roommate. He only knows you through Karla’s idealized stories, which explains much of his initial dislike. But what truly gets to him are the circumstances of your sudden return. You have no idea just how much you’ve disrupted his life.

??? (F/M)

CONTENT WARNINGS

graphic violence, body horror, medical trauma, amnesia, psychological horror, non-consensual medical procedures, implied past abuse, animal injury/death, sexual harassment and discriminatory remarks, substance use, profanity, optional explicit sexual content

If you run into any bugs, please let me know!

Any feedback is appreciated, really! I’ll be delighted to read it. (A bit more detailed guideline below if you’re interested.)

FEEDBACK REQUEST
  • Pacing: did Chapter 1 flow well, or did any section drag or feel rushed?
  • Characters: who stood out to you so far? Any strong likes, dislikes, etc.?
  • Atmosphere: do the mystery/horror elements work for you?
  • Branching: did the choices feel meaningful?
  • MC: did you enjoy stepping into Callow’s shoes?
  • Romance: did anyone in particular catch your interest?
  • Mystery: are you curious to see where the story goes?

THANK YOU!

AI Disclosure:

No — This project does not contain the output of Generative AI
Yes — This project contains the output of Generative AI

105 Likes
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This was so fun! What a creepy and kooky little story, I can’t wait to learn more about what is going on with it. I’m pretty sure I remember you having posted the hospital and reunion scenes before, though? Either way, it was a great serving of your project.

FEEDBACK
  • Pacing: did Chapter 1 flow well, or did any section drag or feel rushed?

I felt like the chapter flowed well, and we managed to see just enough to keep the mystery of who we are perfectly subtle, while also being able to understand peoples suspicions on the way that we were found. Because even I find it weird! Just… what did we do? It’s a really nice set up and it does itself a service by closing the chapter with us meeting the roommates and looking forward to what comes next, because I need to learn more about my MC.

  • Characters: who stood out to you so far? Any strong likes, dislikes, etc.?

I played two different characters, one who was extremely hostile and another who was more sympathetic. I found that for both runs, Cam was a character I really couldn’t stand and had no connection with. It felt like he was just unnecessarily hostile towards a person who was obviously kidnapped, tortured and beaten to the point of memory loss—and I made no attempts at befriending him. Even if it turns out that the MC was in a gang or something, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to reconcile with his character because his attitude towards someone who knows nothing now solely reads as pettiness and jealousy.

Karla, however, was fascinating in both runs. On the hostile run, I genuinely felt both annoyed by her and guilty for her—which I can only assume are the feelings a person in the MC’s situation would truly feel since we aren’t allowed to escape her or the horrible friend she drags along with her, but she is also someone that cared about us so much and had someone look into finding us for a price we still don’t know. And in the friendlier run, she was just a breath of fresh air compared to Cam and I could feel the tension and concern coming from her while she tried her best to hide it. I think you did really well with making her the way she is and I look forward to seeing her character unfold as she realises the person she once knew will never be the same again even when their memories come back.

Also, I’m VERY curious as to who the stranger we keep seeing is…

  • Atmosphere: do the mystery/horror elements work for you?

Yes! It reminds me a little of Alan Wake, specifically the second installment and when they’re still in the real world. Everything felt gritty and tense, and I could visualise the scenes as I was reading them far more than I could visualise the actual characters.

  • Branching: did the choices feel meaningful?

Sometimes the more sympathetic character would snap at moments that felt odd, particularly when they said that they hated the cold. And sometimes I wished for more silent or nonchalant answers just so I could play as a more despondent and detached character in another run. Other than that though, it was good! And it was especially impressive that you had variety in the choices for different genders.

  • MC: did you enjoy stepping into Callow’s shoes?

Yes. The mystery of their origins has me wondering just what is going on, who knows the truth and what our mother was up to—or trying to save them from…

  • Romance: did anyone in particular catch your interest?

No. Karla felt too traumatised to approach and more like a solid best friend I didn’t want to tarnish with romance as she’s the only person who seems to actually care, and Cam was just so off-putting I couldn’t even talk to him let alone flirt with him. Also, it felt like the pair of them had a fresh history or were currently in the midst of some sort of brand new relationship? And since I’m rarely interested in poly romances in IF’s (which is the vibe I get from them if you do approach either) and didn’t like Cam, it felt redundant to disrupt whatever was happening there. However, I am interested to see more about what our history with this ?? person is, as I can only assume they are the one we keep seeing in our dreams(?).

  • Mystery: are you curious to see where the story goes?

YES! A thousand times yes. I need some closure for my poor little MC, and to learn just what the hell happened and why they were found the way they were found.

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I agree on the Cam segment. I do think he’s a good contrast to Karla personality wise but his abrasive behavior needs to be toned down a little. Doesn’t necessarily have to be completely removes. But i think him being suspicious of the MC should be shown more instead of antagonizing the MC right way. Cam has some good moments though. Like the confrontation at the Diner scene.

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Finished reading the demo and it’s pretty good. The Mystery has a nice balance of feeding the reader information at a nice pace. You can even find more info through some options the game gives you. Which led me to having a theory on what exactly is the MC

Anyways i really just wanna gush over Karla really quick. Karla is obviously the childhood best friend RO archetype. I see these types of characters in most IFs. Which aren’t a bad thing it’s just over saturation of this characters with no twist to them. But put these types characters into a scenario like this. And suddenly they’re way more interesting without having to change the archetype too much. The Dynamic of the friendship changes because Karla is putting so much trust, money and patience into a traumatized stranger who is possibly just wearing her best friend’s face. What if the stranger still had some remnants of Karla’s best friend in the form of love/affection? So many possibilities for this relationship to develop. Amazing work

5 Likes
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Thank you so much for such a detailed comment! Yes, I posted the beginning of the story on cog demos a few months ago to see if there’d be any interest, but I didn’t really have time to work on it, so I had to sideline it for a while. Those few months gave me some time to sort things out in my head and reorganize the story a bit.

Now I really want to get back to it properly, and I know that with a story so heavily based on mystery, amnesia, and the interactive flashbacks I’m planning, pacing everything carefully is going to be really important. That’s why I finally decided to make an official thread for it on the forum.

That’s actually really useful insight! Writing Cam is about balancing what he knows about Callow and their history with Karla (before and during the period when they grew apart), how Callow’s reappearance affected his personal life, his protectiveness over Karla, and the fact that he’s not entirely convinced that Callow really doesn’t remember anything.

But at the same time, he’s also openly unsympathetic/hostile toward an amnesiac who’s suffered serious injuries and trauma. Keeping it realistic, I can see some people acting that way if they’re convinced it’s justified, even because of their own hurt. But Cam is also an RO, so that complicates things.

It was never my intention to keep him like that the whole time, because that relationship will develop as he personally gets to know the MC. But now I know that some players may be so put off by his initial behavior that they won’t be able to come around to him, and I’ll keep that option in mind for MC in future chapters.

I’m so very glad! That comparison gives me confidence that my writing style at least matches the vibes I’m going for here. Thank you.

Noted. I’ll give the chapter another read-through in a while, once I’m not so close to everything I’ve written, and I’ll try to add more of the options you mentioned.

There’s no poly route planned at all. Romancing either of them will definitely affect the other, but there’s no emotional space here for a poly relationship between the three of them.

You truly made my day. Thank you. It’s very encouraging to know I’m on the right track with the most important ingredient for this kind of story.

5 Likes
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Cam’s getting another red card. I’m in two minds about it, but I’ll probably wait another two chapters or so to see whether, as more context comes out and the MC starts living with him day to day, the player’s attitude toward him can change. His hostility is deliberate and tied to his own baggage, so I’d prefer to give that arc the time I originally planned for it before deciding whether anything needs adjusting.

Glad the dude has at least some good moments!

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Now I’m so very curious! But if you decide to share, I reserve the right not to comment on it :smiley:

Thank you so much! This variation of the best friend RO dynamic is really fun to write. There’s nothing easy or conventionally safe about it.

5 Likes
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I just read the demo and I loved it! Trying to piece together everything going on and wtf is up with those dreams. I love a good mystery and an amnesiac MC, and I can’t wait to dig further into the nightmares and horrors awairing us :eyes:

I’ll say I actually really love how abrasive and hostile Cam is. Tho that is also cos my MC is a snarky brat who is having the time of his life pushing every single one of Cam’s buttons while flirting with him. But I also generally really enjoy it when npcs and RO’s aren’t instantly our bestie or enarmored with the MC, cos I enjoy the feeling of slowly getting closer and chipping away at their walls. (Or in this case, purposefully leaning into it. My guy is dealing with his amnesia and fucked up situation by making Cam’s blood pressure skyrocket.) Am absolutely going to try romancing him with my snarky bratty MC, just prepare yourself Cam

Karla is also so sweet and I love her, but there’s also this constant feeling of disappointment coming from her whenever the MC doesn’t completely match the memories/mental image she has of the which gives this bittersweet edge to the reunion that I really like! I already feel so protective of her and the way my MC wanted to kick Earl’s ass

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I kinda have to second what a couple of people have said about Cam. I go for male ROs so Cam would be the one I’d set my sights on but his attitude towards the MC hugely put me off. I also got the vibe he and Karla were definitely more than just friends. I tend to stay away from anyone clearly more interested in my friend than me especially when they’re being so hostile :rofl: Maybe I’ll warm up to him in the future but so far I’ll be leaving him for Karla to have for herself :joy:I’ll be holding out for the mystery RO who might be nice to me….mayybeeee?! All jokes aside tho I LOVED the demo it really hooked me with the questions on what the heck happened to the MC so even if I’m not a fan of Cam, I’m a big fan of YOU author so keep up the good work :face_holding_back_tears::heart:

11 Likes
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Amazing start, super excited to see where this one goes!

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I really enjoyed this and I am so excited for more! I was pulled into the story and I felt like all of the characters were interesting. The atmosphere was perfect for me. It didn’t feel too spooky unsettling, more like there is a mystery and potentially something dark lurking behind it. I am curious to learn more about the mystery. I’m even more curious if player choice will have any impact on the mystery.

Thoughts on NPC Characters / Romance

I somewhat agree with some of the previous sentiment of Cam being a standoffish / aggressive. At least as someone who wanted to pursue him as an RO. I do appreciate the idea of a slow burn, enemies to lovers type of thing, but he seemed really cold. I was hoping for a POV that would maybe show that his thoughts are about the MC are not mean as they seem. I wasn’t completely put off from him though!

I really liked Karla!. She seems like the kind of friend anyone would want AND she really isn’t giving anything away about the MC’s past. Which seems really considerate considering Callow doesn’t remember. Also seems like it would be really difficult for someone to do without referencing a memory or slipping up in some way. I think she has to be aware of what happened to the MC.

I really enjoyed the roommate banter as well!

Thoughts on the MC

I am so interested in the MC’s past! I really hope the player will be able to have some input on how the MC views and or handled their past..whatever it is. All my guesses are very cheesy. I feel like they got infused with a man eating werewolf at the moment! Clearly they are dreaming of some eldritch horror much worse than a werewolf and it seems like whatever it is isn’t done with the mc.

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Very glad that it makes you curious about what happens next.

At least the scales tipped slightly in his favor!

Thank you very much for commenting!

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Thank you so much :smiling_face_with_tear: I’m glad that the mystery alone is interesting enough to keep you with this story. Though I hope the romance will click eventually!

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Thank you!

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Very glad to hear it!

I plan for the player to gradually learn about some of the things that happened through playable flashbacks. Then some things will still have to be discovered in the current timeline. So the player’s choices will definitely have an impact.

Haha, I can’t exactly deny or blink twice to confirm that you’re close, but I’m very curious about your theories!

Thank you very much for commenting!

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This was very fun, and i did find a bug towards the end, I’ll try to get a ss later.

Also, i just wanted to say, i play as a guy, so cam isn’t an RO option for me, but man do I like his attitude. He doesn’t actually seem all that shitty too, and not that far but its already growing on me. While im not finished, still love everything so far.

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just finished reading the demo, and I loved it. Can´t wait to find out how the mystery unfolds. I don’t think Cam was to aggressive or hostile. The impression I’m getting is that he has strong opinions on how we treated Karla before our amnesia hit, and that’s why he’s acting the way he is.

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Very sinister, I love it. I have an extreme ??? deficiency now.

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Thank you! I’d really appreciate that ss. I’ve already found a bug that resets any increase in Cam’s standing to zero (it doesn’t have any significant impact on the story yet, ufff), and I’m planning to upload a fix soon.

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Thank you very much for commenting! You have a point there.