Apparently the shadows are a bit sentient? Semi-sentient? Seeing as how they picked up Mc desperation in the warehouse
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That drawback for Pyro kinesis confuses me I assumed that if you keep generating fire you would eventually burn yourself if you can explain to me how the loss of senses goes with pyrokinesis that would be very helpful however all the other drawbacks make sense
One more question I forgot to ask if we get really good at shadow control or if we happen to pull a lot of shadows can we make a giant shadow monster?
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Amazing game so far can’t wait to see how it turns out
Keep up the good work!
They seem to be more “Don’t Starve-esque” type of shadow
They are sentient but they have only 1 goal in mind which is the one ordered by the Mc, after that they dissapear until re-sumonned i guess?
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I know. That’s what I’m implying. That MC and Ash maybe grown together with out blood relation.
BTW Ash reminds me of Mikasa.
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Nice… 
then if this exists, I’ll definitely go with this.
I really enjoyed the start of this! There were a couple issues, but nothing crazy. One thing to note, it was a little weird being called a fanboy as a female MC.
I felt a little bit of sympathy for mom (don’t throw tomatoes at me yet!), because that would be awkward being called out like that. Naturally a kid wouldn’t think twice about it (kids being kids). But I don’t entirely blame the mother in that specific situation. My stoic little cinnamon roll did her best to suck it up tho.
Very nice start. Very nice. 
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:: Snickers even as prepares the tomato launcher then walks away :: muhaha :: then waits in shadows knowing what was coming. ::
Lol in seriousness yeah that was one of the things I noticed as well when playing female mc and can even understand the mother’s reaction even for several reasons. Yet what angst it can cause for some MC’s and the family dynamics for the future.
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My hope is that this won’t be considered the morally superior path. I always hated how every superhero had to be nonlethal and anyone who uses lethal force is like, and extremist bad guy or an edgelord antihero. I love The Punisher, but I want more options than that.
“a barrage of gunshots” makes more sense. “Another” is singular and specifying that it’s “more” (the plural version), sounds awkward and isn’t really needed here anyway.
Happns.
*Has
*Stuff
I like Ash already.
*had
Ah… the nostalgic smell of the burning flesh of your enemies.
Think “more vigorously” or “with more force” makes more grammatical sense here.
*Security guards? I’ve never heard guards being called “securities” before.
*Treatment
I think I like Elysium’s policy on superpowers. Segregated societies never work well, and I always found a system like the one in MHA where no one can use their powers without a license oppressive.
That’s as far as I got, I have to turn in for the night. I’ll read more tomorrow.
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I really like what you have so far. 99% of the writing flows and reads very well, there are just some instances of repetition when describing an action. After a character speaks you tend to use one of a few bland verbs, such as '‘he sighed’ or 'she said". It’s not a problem, but changing up what types of verbs you use can help the writing feel more flavorful.
I really like the world you are crafting here, and I cant wait to see where the story goes!!!
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So I chose Kozlov as Viktor’s last name but since my character is a woman shouldn’t that change to Kozlova?
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I played the demo and I love it. Can’t wait to play the full game, it’s well written and very detailed. But I’m wondering why do we need any more R.O when we have our homeboy Ash. He’s PERFECT and we can see that he loves the MC from the start.
Honestly, I see my MC marrying him and having ginger kids all over our crib
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I hope we get an option to treat the mom like a stranger when she comes Knocking
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@Fenrir1 Yes! That’s the plan. I will try to make choices that will accommodate for various stats so decisions won’t be locked out for certain readers who build their skills differently.
For now, other than making tendrils of darkness, MC should also be able to melt into the shadows in a shadow form and become incorporeal. Umbrakinesis also gives a passive ability for MC to be able to see better in darkness and dim lightings. There are other variations and derivations from these capabilities that I hope I’ll be able to incorporate in the game, but I’ll keep them secrets for now so you’ll be able to read it when the time comes 
@XaosMinion Yes! I meant for the shadows to be semi-sentient that can pick up on MC’s thoughts and feelings. 
@Phantomblade The way I interpret it is like, feeling the effects of the burns without actually burning physically and none of the pain, because pyrokinetics are immune to fire and heat, and don’t get bothered by the cold as well because they are internally very warm. 
So, yes, users who keep generating fire for too long, their body will start to go numb, kinda like frying your nerve-endings, but with no physical marks.
I was playing with the idea of letting MCs who are adept in Umbrakinesis to be able to make some sort of hellhounds that can help them in combat. I think it’s kinda fitting since the shadows are semi-sentient, MC just needs to help them creating their forms. I’ll see once I write more combat scenes on whether to implement it or not
@Surendra999 I haven’t watched AoT 
so I had to ask my brother to explain to me about Mikasa’s and Eren’s relationship and I think it’s similar to MC and Ash in a way. Yes, MC and Ash are not blood-related (Luka and Cara are not married ) but they grow up together and are very close to each other.
@Radiantbliss @Valixon Aah thanks for catching that 
It’ll be fixed on the next update along with other typos and hopefully all the grammatical errors. Also, it’s refreshing to see you have a bit of sympathy for Yvette 
my inbox on Tumblr was flooded with so much hate and questions about her.
I know I meant to write her as not likeable but strangely, when writing her myself, I don’t really feel the hate that much, in fact, I sometimes feel a little pity for her (I’ve answered some questions on Tumblr more about some aspects of her background and what she felt for Viktor). Maybe it’s because I subconsciously know something about her when I wrote her, or maybe because I’m the author and I feel like I should be impartial on my own characters, or… she has broken the 4th wall and is using her empathy to influence me
@comradelenin I’m glad that you bring this up because I also personally really hate this trope. So many video games and some IFs that I played that always give bad endings for players who choose to play as ruthless characters! It really feels like the readers and the MC are being punished and that there’s a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to play the games, why even bother putting the ruthless options in except for those few readers who aimed for the bad ending. I still remember the first time I played ‘Dishonored’ and I killed most of the guards in every level and got hit with the bad ending 
In truth, some ruthless MCs should’ve technically removed a lot of sources of incoming/future problems in the story by killing them off before they could become one There are some pros and cons to both Ruthless and Kind MCs that should be acknowledged more. So, don’t worry, this IF won’t have ‘bad endings’ especially for ruthless and vengeful MCs. They are just… endings, a series of consequences that your MCs made, readers can read or interpret them as good or bad or even just gray/neutral, it’s up to the readers’ views but ones that I hope would still be satisfying and closed the story nicely.
Yes! That policy is one of the reasons why the city can boom so quickly; a lot of powered people move there where they have more freedom and don’t feel as oppressed and of course it’s the perfect place to found companies/agencies that focused on cultivating superheroes. But of course, the downside is that for every 1 powered person who wants to use their ability for good, there are perhaps 5 more that will or are forced to use their abilities for their own gains and hurt other people instead. One of the effects of the law is also what enables the incident with Ash and Ronald to happen in the first place .
Also thanks for taking the time to point out those typos and errors! I will fix them on the next update!
@DrDense Aah yes, this is certainly one of the things that I was worried about while writing! I will try to take this advice while writing the next chapter! As for the ones already on the Prologue and Chapter 1, I’ll try to fix them when I went over them again to fix the typos and grammatical errors! Thank you for the feedback
@N_K Ah yes thank you for pointing it out as well! I forgot that in the naming conventions for Russian names, the surnames are different for male and female I will fix it on the next update!
@Marcelly Awww 
I’m glad you love Ash so much! And Ash has certainly dreamed and imagined about starting family with MC as well
Yes! I hope to give options not only to lash out against her, but to also just be apathetic to her and treat her basically like a stranger, I think this option would fit Stoic MCs. 
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I like the story so far but my biggest problem is I can’t choose to name my MC Ash, I always name my character that. But since Ash is adorable I can forgive you for that
My question is, is Ash one of the RO?
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Bro I think I would have umbrakinesis for life if you give me cute hellhound puppies. Please tell me we can kept them out of combat too? Like a cute/scary pet?
@Knoez Yeah Ash is an RO!
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nice to know, thanks
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He’s THE romance option, for real I can’t choose anyone but him lol
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I’m planning to create a very emotional and frail MC (I’m tired of doing strong and independent all the time) but at the same time I’ll pretend to not know this woman. The closer my MC ever recognized as a mother is aunt Clara.
I would love to see he’s pov, panicking because MC held his hand or hugged him lol
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