Untitled [WIP]

Ok, so I have to admit, the working title for this might seem a little odd or just outright like I forgot to write a title at all, and that might be why you’re here now, but I swear it was genuinely the most appropriate title I could come up with.

Before I get into the concept I’ve got in my hands here I suppose I should give a bit of an introduction, for formality’s sake.

Hello, I go by Jury. I was a fairly active tabletop GM up until the recent societal collapse so I was big into my interactive story type beats. Figured if I couldn’t get my story-writing fix through my sessions this would be a pretty good alternative, so here I am.

Alright, with that out of the way, here’s the quick elevator pitch for Untitled:

Summary

Stories sometimes tell of real lives, occasionally real lives mirror stories. With the advent of the rifts, the distinction between the two is now virtually non-existent. If left unchecked, a rift manifests its contents in reality. While not necessarily alarming on paper, the last thing you want is for a rift to open and an eldritch god to come crawling out.

Individuals known as Titled have taken up the responsibility to seal these rifts to prevent further chaos. They do so by hosting the spirits of powerful figures. The more well known the spirit, the stronger the Titled.

And you? Well, there’s not much for you to do in this world of mythical creatures and literal gods. After all, you’re, well… Untitled.

I’m still a little unfamiliar with the whole Choicescript language so things are going to be pretty slow as I pick things up along the way. I’ve put up a quick and dirty prologue section to serve as a quick demo as well as an opportunity for me to take in some early feedback on my writing style/ general formatting, so feel free to be as critical as you’d like.

In terms of storyline, I’ve got a fairly rough general idea of the main story beats I have to hit, as well as a pretty ambitious system I don’t know will translate well into this medium, but given my roots in GM’ing may end up giving the readers on here a hand in choosing the exact general path, likely to be in poll form, though we’ll have to see how that goes.

I’ll update the sections below as I further flesh out this little project, and I hope this marks the start of a fun journey for us.

For now though, here’s your link, and let me know what you think.

Conceptual Inspirations/Other cool things to check out.

One of the bigger conceptual inspirations I had for this was definitely “Omniscient Reader’s Perspective”, a pretty famous Korean webnovel clocking in at something like 550 chapters, and took its married author pair several years of scripting and re-scripting. It plays with a similar concept of having Gods sponsoring humans, only in more of a giant cosmic game-show of death kind of sense. I don’t want to say too much since I would wholly recommend checking it out if you ever have the time.

Another big one would definitely be the Fate series, since the premise of that is having famous historical/mythical figures (a lot of whom are genderbent), fight each other. I’m a little more hesitant to recommend checking this one out. From a content perspective, it gets pretty dark depending on which medium you consume the series from. And from a more general ease-of-access perspective, just look up “Fate Timeline” if you’re thinking about commiting to the dive, and uh, good luck if you are.

The whole rift concept stems partly from Marvel comics’ 2015 Secret Wars arc by Jonathan Hickman, which plays a lot with alternate universes, and which I suspect may recieve the cinematic treatment given their recent focus on multiverse. The real heavy inspiration comes from another Korean webnovel Solo Levelling, which has a very similar premise of rifts, only it takes a more MMO/fantasy game style approach to its systems. Both of these are worth checking out if you find my project interesting, though hopefully I can distinguish my writing to be different enough to not come of as an inferior knock-off!

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Nice beginning ! I feel interested about your story, especially about the story telling (the third choice of your script always making us feel helpless as we already know that we are screwed either ways).
I’m looking forward to the continuation : D

Definitely getting some All You Need Is Kill/Edge of Tomorrow vibes from the third choices. That’s something I can get behind.

Also - nice to see a fellow fan of Omniscient. I haven’t read the novel like you, seemingly, have; I am following the manga instead. Thoroughly enjoying it. Can’t wait to see how that inspiration translates into your work.

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WoW… This is weirdly but kinda good. Your way of storytelling felt somewhat unique to me and it’s good.

okay. that was cool. i really like what you got here. instead of being frustrated confused, im more intrigued confused. judging from the works you’re inspired from, i cant wait to see what you’ll write more. i dont read omniscient and i only know two characters but i know that shit be fuckin good. you only left me with more questions and im weirdly giddy about it? keep it up. you got some good shit right here

Like it so far. I have always liked the time loop. It is what it felt like. It will be interesting to see what comes next and to see how far the rift will go.

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i like the demo so far and since you mentioned you you were a tabletop GM there is a game called city of mist and it reminds of your game maybe you could check it out for some inspiration for your game also i have a Question will the mc have powers

You had me with “Omniscient reader viewpoint” inspiration, one of my favorite Korean Mangas at the moment.

Can’t wait to see how this turns out, best of luck with your wip and remember to take your time to build it.

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Very cool btw!

Thanks for the feedback! Glad you’re all liking it so far. I’ll take a little time to outline things a little further while I take a break from writing the next section.

Time Loops

I’ve found that it’s generally really hard to get a good time travel story that covers all its possible plot holes without turning into an overly-explained mess. That and the fact that time in a story is usually “linear”, i.e., things happen as we read them to happen, a lot of complicated time travel plots tend to get kind of lost in the words where a diagram or a timeline would be much easier, especially when things happen in parallel.

In any case, unless you want to count reading every story from the start again a “time loop”, which would mean technically every book is a time loop plot, Untitled isn’t going to go in that direction, although I may play around with the concept with a rift.

City of Mist

And here I was thinking I’d heard of every tabletop rpg. Gotta admit, this one’s almost dishearteningly close to the concept I had in my head, so I’m going to need to try a little harder to distinguish myself.

Although I’m not going to be leaning into the idea of a straight fantasy plot, but I don’t want to give too much away just yet.

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I really like this so far (although I am admittedly confused lol). I really like your writing!

[Update: Chapter 1 Out]

Alright, it’s like 2:30 am as of this update, but I told myself I’d put up an update by today and here we are. Since I don’t have perms to update the original thread just yet I’ll post changelogs down here until I unlock that. I’ll flesh out some additional notes as well later.

But for now, sleep.

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One long sleep later, and I’m back ready to pad out a few more details. I don’t want to say too much on things that haven’t been included in each chapter. My style is more letting the worldbuilding slowly trickle out organically instead of drowning you in a massive lore dump. With that out of the way…

First things first, we'll talk characters.
  1. You.

Obviously, we have you, the player character. I’d hesitate to call you the protagonist or even a main character, since, well, in the nicest way possible, there’s absolutely nothing special about you. Though I guess in a roundabout way that makes you the most unique out of every other character.

Does that change? Well, you’ll have to keep reading to find out.

  1. Erin.

For all intents and purposes the real main character of the plot. The two of you have been practically inseparable since you grew up, though the trajectory of her life has taken a very different direction. Not to say she’s the perfect protagonist, after all, it’s taken her a long way from when you saw her in the prologue to now. You don’t know much of her Title, only that she goes by [Lady of the Slain] and her real name is Freyja, but then again you can neither see nor hear her.

Together, they make a excellent team, though keep in mind this is only the case when Title and Host are on good terms. When they aren’t? That’s when things start to get messy.

3 Carter

Carter is… well…
We’ll get to him later.

On top of that, things like how Titles interact with their hosts, as well as the term “Arky” if you caught that, that’s something that I’ll get into in a later chapter.

Then, a little bit about the world.

I’ve intended to ground this in a modern/pseudo-futuristic setting, but right now you’ve barely set foot out of your apartment. You’ve got people running around with magical powers, plus the whole concept of rifts is inherently fantasy, but there’s still going to be a technology aspect to things.

As for the rifts themselves? Well, I don’t want to say too much just yet.

And finally, a couple things about updates/schedules.

Ah, my favourite part. We know how this goes: I say something like, “regular daily updates”, end up doing it maybe for a week or so, forget for one day and then the next thing you know it’s “last update: 6 months ago”.

If this was a tabletop session I was hosting I’d probably be able to prep up to 4 sessions in advance per week, but that doesn’t involve me having to type every single line of dialogue, plus I’d be sourcing a lot of story points and feedback from the players.

Given I can’t really do that, optimistically I’d say probably a short chapter every week or so since it’s the regular engagement that fuels my drive for these things. Also, the more feedback or even just general conversation I end up having in this thread is going to help my motivation in the long run, because at the very least I can lie to myself that this is me getting to know my players.

Cool, hope to check in with you all soon.

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Small bug report, I noticed that it’s unable to load the stats. This could be because you just haven’t had time to make a page and I’m an idiot, but otherwise you should check to make sure your stats page is in the files. Welcome to the aspiring writers club!

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Oop, nice catch! Stats completely slipped my mind as I was uploading everything, though I haven’t quite had a good idea on that side of things just yet. Planning on having some sort of stats system thought out and drafted up by next week, so stay tuned!

Uh, quick pre-update about the actual update that should go up at some point in the next day or two.

Whoops, so much for missing a day on the schedule I said I’d stick to. Had to fight off a sudden illness and narrowly avoid an almost-crisis at home, which wasn’t something I’d accounted for in my timeline. Next update’s sitting at around 2500 words and I’m only about 60% through the section. For better or worse I’ll still upload whatever I end up with by tomorrow just to force myself to stick to the plan, so heads up if that reads worse than usual.

Hopefully next one goes better, eh?

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When I first read the summary I thought I would just be some average dude waiting for an Eldridge God to kill me but this may not be the case however you have to admit that would make a good horror suspense game!

Oof, if you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans. That bug I thought I got over a couple days ago came back with a vengeance and just cleaned my clock. On the plus side, I had plenty of time to block out a functional schedule why I was dying in bed. I’m still not 100%, but I’ve recovered some level of basic functionality.

Schedule’s going to look like a weekly Friday update, starting this Friday since I missed my upload window for last week. Not going to have a word target for each week, so it’s basically going to be up to where I think is a good place to stop every time. That said I’d imagine it’d range from at least 2500-4000 words/week for the next couple weeks before branching becomes a bit more complex. I’ve got a lot of respect for weekly webnovel writers and their commitment, and doing a choice based branching weekly update is going to be pretty intensive, but I’ll try to stick with it until the habit just develops. Haven’t been burned out yet, but I can already tell that burnout is something I’ll have to contend with down the line.

Sorry for not having an update last week, see you on Friday for the next changelog ramble.

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Fri-Saturday Update

Hopefully I haven’t killed this project like my sickness almost killed me, so here’s a brief summary of what I’ve worked on. Not super relevant that you play the small update I’ve put up, honestly I’d say probably come back next week where there’ll be a bit more meat on the bone, it’s not like there’s any secrets or anything you’ll miss out on.

  • Currently playable update:
    Nothing like a debilitating sickness when you’re less than a month into a new project to really kill your momentum. Really would have liked to have had more than 2000-ish words to show for almost 2 weeks, but I’m not gonna get bogged down by that. Onward and upward.

  • Soon-to-come stuff:
    I’ve got another 3000-ish words of raw text I have yet to format. Expect that to come out next Friday fully edited. I feel like I’m just tempting fate if I promise anything more at this point, so that’s the timeline for now.

  • Rough story progress:
    I’d say that the rest of “Act 1” is going to take another 3-4 weeks to finish, I’ve got the rough plot I want to hit basically skeletonised at this point. Might take a week or so after that to edit the first act, take some feedback if there is any etc, but should be steady progress into Act 2. Don’t want to say too much, but I think that’s when things are gonna get… weird.

Hopefully you’ll continue to stick with me for the rest of this, maybe I’ll finally get my act together now.

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