This is really well written just thought I’d say as much, the only thing I saw was when saying goodbye to Sebastian you can straighten his uniform? I’m not saying blind people don’t have a sixth sense but… Though I think it’d be funny if you go to straighten his uniform and wind up mussing it up further. Anywho really well done I look forward to reading more.
cool wip you got here, great writing style, cool premise and engaging story. sebastian is great as a little bro figure and i love the personality choices. keep up the good work, can’t wait to see more!
one other thing i’m really digging is the text/narrative-based stats. really love it games like tin star and others where a little description of your talents (or lack thereof) is given instead of just numbers
oh yeah, little bug. in the name choice, the name nicholas turns into wilder. funny thing is, i like the name wilder better. can we have that as another option?
I don’t know why, but I love that this story has a disabled MC! I’m disabled myself but I’m not blind I have CP. I know someone who is almost blind though. So thanks for giving the disabled people of the forum more representation!
I loved the writing style. The idea of a blind person being the MC is pretty cool. You don’t really see these kind of WIPs everyday. I also like the different powers, though I’ve been just choosing randomly just to see what will happen. In real life, we have no control over what happens so I use like a odds generator to make it more random for me. Still, keep up the good work.
As a person that lived their entire life within a block or so of the ocean … there is one thing that bothered me.
Everywhere I lived, it would be seagulls, not pelicans that would be the common scavenger bird … the pelicans were always afraid of humans and the only place I saw them more than incidentally would be in the nature preserve … one of the Navy bases I lived next to, had a wildlife preserve that was huge.
I also don’t know if you modelled your scene on a particular beach town or not but your description actually reminds me of a couple of possible places … one of which is the town/city that the Navy Base and Nature Reserve I mentioned above was located.
Ooh, that sounds like a really interesting way to go about this, I’ll be eager to see where this leads you once the story delves deeper into these choices!
Omg I know exactly what you mean! The areas described so far are a mix of places I grew up visiting every weekend or so (Funnily enough, someone compared it to Disneyland lol). I’ve lived in California my whole life and drove to beaches often so the pelicans must have been a slip, I’ll fix it in the next update!
What do you mean by that? If you’re referring to the power sets, this is what I’m planning to do:
The choices you make on your walk to school and when you’re standing at the sink narrow down the ten possible faere types you can be to five (ex: choosing cold water narrows down heat/ice to ice). Once the time comes for Mc to awaken their faere powers, I’m leaning towards showing the five options that it was narrowed down to so that the reader makes the ultimate decision.