I agree, as much as I enjoyed the old demo as well, it seems like it will needlessly over-complicate things.
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As long as it’s clearly optional and stated to be non-canon, and for people to not give you feedback on that, I guess it’s fine? But I agree you should rather release it on tumblr since here, it’s your actual developement thread and it would be confusing.
I wouldn’t read it anyway since it would weird me out, but I can understand the appeal.
But yeah, anyway, I strongly suggest making it a separate link.
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Greetings, Thank you for the quick reply and apologies for my not so quick reply. Anyways, I believe that that is a fine idea and I’m willing to go with the compromise you quite recently edited in. In fact I had a similar idea to it, thinking that you could create another thread here with the previous version and link it on your tumblr or on this thread itself.
I have played both the old and new version and I have to say I like how we get a chance to learn a little bit about the characters before we find out they are our “rivals”. Secondly this one has to do with the old version. It seemed more mysterious yet totally obvious what was going on. At least that is my opinion on it anyway. I have read many books and there are not many that manage to do that. In my opinion if you could somehow keep the new versions way of introducing characters and somehow combine it with the mysterious style of the old version that would be great. But then again that is just my opinion. ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE STORY THOUGH.
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Game Update!
Heya everyone! I’m happy to report that the game has been updated!
This update includes everything I’ve previously mentioned, but I will provide a brief list of its contents.
*changes to E’s starting relationship, and accomodating background changes.
*addition of starting background items.
*four class scenes added.
*four background side-story scenes added.
*six additional character scenes added (excluding class scenes).
*quality of life improvements for the stat screen.
*revised starting page.
I hope you enjoy what I’ve been working on, and apologies for the extended wait!
Edit: I was informed the game still ends at the end of meeting F. I fixed it, but if you still run into the end please close the window and reclick the link 
@Jeremy_Stumbaugh2 Should be fixed
81 Likes
Not gonna lie, childhood friend E is amazing. I mean, E is amazing in general, but childhood friend E is extra amazing.
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Well managed to get past where we preciously were, though got an error when F asked us to take her survey and chose the indifferent option in case that wasn’t meant to happen
Not to sound like an absolute fangirl, but the amount of times I’ve repeatedly read this is ungodly and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Keep up the good(great and amazing) work, Mr. Author! 
Also if you don’t mind, I’m just gonna dump some of my hideous fanart over here. 
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Nice update haha
Ahhhhhhh finally some good news in the world! Can’t wait to give this update a playtest! 
Yay, I’m done with the update! And well, as expected, enjoyed it a lot!
Even though I’ve discovered this game a few days ago, I’ve replayed the WIP so many times by now, that I’m kind of weirded out by the starting point changing so much (with my chosen BG, at least).
It’s not bad though - I just need adjusting. I don’t know if all paths are SO different, but the mood is REALLY not the same on the street urchin background. Though… I dare to say I like it more as it is now, I think. As I said, I only need time to adjust. Overall I think it adds depth to both the MC and his relationship with Emil.
Though if I may suggest… When playing the street urchin BG route as it is now, the MC is employed by Emil’s parents. I think it would make sense to add a line or two to the part that says Emil wrote a letter to his parents to say were they were going, and add something in relation. Like the MC being a bit worried despite Emil writing the letter, or Emil reassuring him he’ll ask his parents not to kick him out or something. I mean, he basically leaves his job while his employers are away, just like that.
Okay now, some errors and discrepancies I’ve encountered!
-
When selecting the hair-lenght, the fourth option says: “I run fingers through my shoulder-length hair, working the knots out.”
I guess it would sound better with “I run my fingers”, even if the “my” is repeated. -
In the invitation letter from the Academy, on the line: “We, at the illustrious institution of Triaina Academy, humbly extend this invitation to you on [insert date here], to attend the upcoming class of 2597.” - I’m unsure if the letter really doesn’t have a date pointed out (like a printing error or something they actually didn’t put in it) or if it’s a mistake and you didn’t include it. It would be weird if it was missing in-universe though, so I’d rather think it’s an IRL mistake.
-
Still about the street urchin BG, when you read the files about all of the members of the dorm, and you reach the MC’s, Emil’s lines are not updated to reflect the new situation. It still says " “That doesn’t make sense, though.” Emil thinks aloud, “Alice was living on the street before we adopted him. Shouldn’t he have our family name?” ". But as it is now, the MC isn’t part of the family anymore. (and yes, my male MC’s name is Alice XD)
-
Not sure if that’s a mistake or an intentional decision here… Overall, how do the personality stats work? I’ve noticed they barely move at all. They already moved very little before, but now it’s even more static. Is that normal? I select almost only empathetic answers (like, I’ve selected TWO principled answers during the entire thing, and otherwise, only empathetic ones), but my empathetic stat is at 52% by the end.
I think that’s it for now!
The more I play this, the more I think this is the WIP I’m most hyped about.
Man I love Vin so much…
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Yep I agree
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I have to disagree, I think Emma/Emil feels different, but I don’t think they feel out of place as long as you’re not expecting a sibling like relationship from them.
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E will continue to be the same energetic, emotionally considerate character you’ve always known, and their dynamic hasn’t changed much, and the background relation will be further developed as the story continues.
The character, along with all other ros, will continue to be polished as development progresses, however E’s current revised profile is one I adamantly believe to be the best possible consideration for their character and long-time future developments going forward. This dynamic is their final iteration, and will not be changing. This is where I will be drawing the line.
I hope you can understand this plan, and see E as a considerable character in their own right, independent of their past iterations. And if not, it’s my hope you avidly enjoy at least one of my characters haha
@DancingInTheRain279 of course, I would absolutely appreciate any grammar problems you may find haha
Fixed your post haha
I love it! I especially like the little ‘General Attributes’ addition to your MC card! It’s a nice reference to the different RO attributes in the stat screen, and I thought it was a nice touch haha
Sorry about that. This will be the LAST time a big overhaul like this happens with the intro haha. I don’t mean to shock and awe people with all the changes, I’m just trying to make sure the start is as good as it can be.
I can probably add a small blurb regarding the orphan background note suggestion
I’ll look into adjusting the wording a little so it flows better without being redundant haha
The date is actually supposed to show up like that. There’s some reasonings regarding this that’ll turn up later, but basically it’s a matter of rushing the invitation. It’ll come up haha
Whoops! I must have overlooked that haha. I’ll dive into that as I go through
It’s probably because I made the stat math very low, so the increase is so infinitesimal when you choose a personality that it’s not going up. I’ll look into how to correct that.
I’ll forever be grateful for your support, as well as your help and suggestions in making the game the best it can be! I hope to live up to your high expectations haha
Don’t worry, the game will make it very very clear this time around when you lock into the route haha. The purpose of all of these new character scenes and such is to give you a much more defined idea of the characters before the romance lock happens.
Thank you! I fixed it in the code
30 Likes
Played the update with all the origins and found all of them fun and unique enough that I would have regretted skipping even one of them. All the new scenes did a good job on delivering more of each RO’s personality (and the NPCs) and how they interacted with each other. The new scenes with the ROs though, they are, how you say…magnifique.
Apologies if this has been asked before, but will the stat page eventually reflect what the ROs think of us romantically (i.e. heart points)? Just asking in case I accidentally lock myself into a route
On a more serious note, I do think that the new Em’s core character personality hasn’t changed and is still as adorable they were before. When they were a step-sibling, I wasn’t eyeing Em as an RO for any playthrough. The fact that Em is a childhood friend actually gives more nuance to their motivations. In the previous iteration, I felt they acted out of a mix of puppy dog crush and familial love. Now, I think they’re a genuinely good execution of the childhood friend archetype, regardless of which background you choose. Their kindness, protectiveness and easy teasability (is that a word? haha) really endears me to them even more now.
Normally, this would be enough to name Em a grade A catch IRL. Alas, as I am using the visual novel approach in this game, Em shall forever be relegated to last place - as is decreed for childhood friends (I’m so sorry Em, ily, but dem’s the rules 
hahahahaha)
Looking forward to more in the future!
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For what’s it’s worth, I totally agree with that. I ADORE sibling relationships in games like that, be it in pure sibling sense or as a love interest. But I think the character really shines with the current configuration. Sure, I’ve only played the street urchin BG path, but as I said in my previous post, somehow I think it adds depth. The fact Emil is so open and considerate and loving even WITHOUT being the MC’s brother is really nice. And it’s not as if the core personality has changed.
Don’t be sorry! I truly consider that this BG is better now, I just need adjusting to it.
The story is still in it’s early phases - changing things is normal while you progress on the game and realize some modifications in earlier parts would do good.
Okay! Wasn’t sure about that!
Also, thanks for adding character customization! I play so many of these games I really need it in order to be able to “see” my character in my mind.
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heya, overhauled intro and progression’s done and it’s pretty good, feels better paced. glad you addressed the stats thing, cuz the stats and backgrounds feel much better now. one thing though, i’d like to see a mc’s close relationship and shared past with e better explored and shown in their interactions, like we got in the old version where their interactions felt more personal, like you’ve known them for a long time.
it’d be nice to hear more about their past together beyond them just hanging out together and a few lines about growing up together. outside of a few moments, they come off as just a friend you’ve met maybe a couple of years back than a close childhood friend you’ve known forever. making their interactions showcase their closeness and familiarity a bit more would be nice. show more than tell n all that.
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Whilst I disagree with the change from E being our step-sibling to our best friend instead, for reasons unknown, and think of it as a downgrade instead of an upgrade. I do, begrudgingly admittedly, accept that this relationship dynamic will be the “final iteration” and will no longer be subject to anymore changes.
Moving on, I have just recently played and finished playing the new version of your rather fine game and might I say that it is a very good and solid. However, I do have some suggestions which I feel could improve the game a bit and also some of the bugs that I’ve encountered along the way:
- In the scene where we choose how long our hair is, perhaps you could specify more on how different in terms of length the mid-length hair is compared to the short hair? They’re both quite similar and are somewhat confusing to choose between the two because I can’t really get a clear picture. In contrast, the other 3 choices are clear and obvious as to what kind of hair length it is (Bald, Shoulder-Length, Back-Length).
- Secondly, perhaps you could include a glossary of the terms being used and their respective meanings? For future reference.
- Thirdly, a bug I encountered was that our schedule isn’t being shown on the stats screen despite it saying that it has been added.
- During when Fiore gives you the survey, I think instead of “What about”, “About what” or “For what” would be better.
- Another bug that I encountered was that the surname showed on the line after my character’s name.
- And lastly, I don’t know if this is a bug or not, but there seems to be no character description for Raven.
Note: Sorry if my suggestions seem nit-picky.
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Here are the errors I've found
Utilize a duel-path system
I believe you mean dual path
I need to gather my barrings
Bearings
… Your father retook his mantel
Mantle
One in particular has been of particular importance
Sounds slightly redundant. Maybe change the second one for ‘great’? Or remove the first ‘particular’
Await to your arrival eagerly.
Remove the to.
You know a way passed that
Past
beside asphalted streets
I… don’t think that’s a word? Maybe just leave 'asphalt*
Vee gradually exits her readied stance, and his eyes return to their blanked slate
I think this is a coding mistake, but put it here for ease.
See, I’m fine?
See? I’m fine.
“Very well.” I state chalantly.
Non-chalantly Or is that sarcasm? 
Emma releases a long sight
Sigh
My reputation proceeds me
Precedes
I’ll keep editing this as I go
@LeoXII
Final edit: Alright, this is what I was able to find this time. Maybe I’ll do it again more thorough some other time.
Been watching this WiP for awhile now and cant wait for the final product.
Would it be possible to get a Snider cut of the old demo?
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