The Wayhaven Chronicles: Book One (WIP)

I’m suddenly feeling like Marge

Though, having said that, I really do hope the mortal/immortal relationship thing gets discussed by everyone who knows (with varying opinions on it) and if possible, to even have a sit down with the LI for their options/opinions on the whole shebang :))

Unless @Seraphinite has some ace up her sleeve or a good plot reason for immortal!MC, I’m just happy with them being a thing (no matter how fleeting)

6 Likes

So I’ve been thinking and I have a few questions/comments.

One, MC’s mom mentions that the Mayor wanted her help? I assumed at first this wasn’t really true and she just wanted the MC not to question why her team was there. If it is true, though, does that mean the Mayor knows about vampires and all that? Why else would he call upon her and not, say, the police from the big city where all the other help we’re getting comes from?

Two. The team are not very good at being bodyguards. I mean, not letting the MC know that they’re in danger is not very smart on their part. I know they wanna keep it secret but they couldn’t be like “well, the perp is known to attack the police investigating them” or “you fit their typical target.”

Of course the MC must know their job is dangerous but they wouldn’t know they are going to be targeted and it’s much easier for the killer to find the MC, who’s actively hunting him down, than the team to find him who’s actively hiding.

I know protecting people isn’t their typical thing but I really hope there’s a moment where they’re like “well crap” when they realize they’d not doing a great job and work to do it better. I mean, besides Nat/Nate the team doesn’t really even seem to care considering protecting the MC is part of their job. Or I want a scene where either the MC is in trouble (and they take care of themselves, naturally) because of them, or they think the MC is in trouble so they bust in only to find thd MC totally fine.

15 Likes

I really liked this demo. I think the main character is really good I have nice choices. The characters have defined personalities, they all seem consistent and well made. The use of dramatic irony in a choice game is rarely used and is a welcome addition to the story that adds such nice depth to the present story.

The setting could use a little more of a personal touch but there is plenty of time for that. I want to know more about the town and maybe it’s history. I feel like since that’s the main setting for the story it needs more details and memories from the main character.

2 Likes

Building off of this, I’d like an explanation for why the MC stayed in such a small town or even a “I couldn’t exactly leave”

5 Likes

Agreed. I feel that personally my character would stay because it’s home turf and they want to protect the people they have come to love in town. On the other hand I’m doing a button run and I’m just gonna stay to wreck havoc because it’s NY personally stomping ground to oppress people I have power over

2 Likes

BTW @Seraphinite is verda a romance option?

The only ROs are the for vampires as far as we know. But I totally would jump at the oppertunity to romance Verda (even when by now it seems very unlikely T_T)

I honestly agree. The “there weren’t any jobs in the big city” explanation isn’t consistent enough for me…(it’s so terrible vague in every way)

3 Likes

Agh but why? I like maybe two of the vampire agents. Maybe we could turn verda into a vampire just for funnsies

1 Like

I think any ROs besides the four vampires probably would go beyond the scope of what the story allows.

1 Like

I want to romance the MC’s former partner, Tina. Who’s with me?

5 Likes

I am totally down for “I thought you were protecting MC” “No. I thought ____ was protecting MC” and then all of them look at each other with the collective feeling of dread bubbling in their chest because Agent Mom is going to murder them

So they frantically go look for the MC when they find that MC can hold their own, and sent a minotaur or some equally hulking creature packing :))

24 Likes

Or they all rush to MCs house (do any of them know where the MC lives?? Seems like that would be important info for them to know) and bust in only to find the MC working over their case notes in their pajamas with coffee or cup noodles.

But seriously. They’re not very good bodyguards. I mean. They already know the guy they’re after has run into the MC. For all they know he might even know the MC is who he’s looking for. You would think they’d wanna, you know, stick with them to keep them safe??

13 Likes

I kinda like the fact they’re not good body guards :)) I’m hoping to milk this out for all the potential comedy appeal

[so once they do realize, “oh shit we really messed up there” and decide to y’know follow up accordingly, MC would’ve already had all their strengths and weaknesses down to make snooping slightly easier]

11 Likes

@Mewsly - The MC and Mayor thing is something that will be explained further into the story :wink: But, no, the Mayor doesn’t know about supernatural and things.

As for the team being terrible, terrible bodyguards… they really are :smiley: When they said protection wasn’t their thing, they really meant it. Especially when they’re supposed to be protecting someone who is more capable of protecting themself than the vamps realise.

@SweetScarlet - I’m glad you enjoyed it :slight_smile: Thank you for checking it out!


I realise there’s a lot of unknowns and thoughts about the story, but a lot of them will be explained or detailed further as the story develops. There’s only 3 chapters right now, after all :smiley: That’s barely enough to scratch the surface of the story, relationships, characters, etc. Even the full demo won’t reveal everything. This is a series long in the planning, there’s quite a way to go yet :wink: Things will be explained, but they may not all be addressed in Book One, or even Book Two.
I will probably hold back on answering specific/spoilery questions from now on. I realise I’ve revealed quite a lot without context so far, and I don’t think that’s a good idea :smiley: It’s just 'cause I get so excited I like to talk about the story and answer all questions!
But, I think it will be better if you guys experience the story as it was intended to be given and at the pace it’s planned out, instead of just telling you everything up front. It will be more exciting and fun that way, I think :slight_smile: Hopefully that won’t be so long, I am working really hard at it, and really hope to get it out this year.

As an aside- Yay for over 500 posts in the thread! :smiley:

40 Likes

That’d be strangely satisfying to see. :3

9 Likes

I am curious what the Agency has as far as shock collars for their attack dogs.

1 Like

Okay but I just thought of the MC giving whoever they get with ridiculous pet names. Imagine them calling Ava/Adam or Mason/Morgan something like “Bae” or “Boo” or “Cutie Pie” and them just being insulted but eventually they just accept it.

I am going to make Adam my Bae.

8 Likes

Farah is going to have a long pet name, something very formal but oddly endearing. Somehow

2 Likes

Ooooh I wanna give it a go 8) When I played Dragon Age 2, I called Merrill my ‘dear sweet beautiful angel baby daughter’ half the time, both while I was playing the game and when I talked about her to my friends

Farah(/Felix in my case) could be something like My One and Only, My Dearest Darling Angel, Beloved Light of My life, Apple of My Eye (that’s all supposed a single pet name name btw) A bit more goofy/cutesy than formal but oh well… :grin:

3 Likes

She shall be my most illustrious and appealing sphinx.

2 Likes