The Venators (WIP)

Hi all! So it’s been a few, but I have the revised demo for my WIP almost set and ready to go now! Currently it’s sitting at about 36k words with the prologue, chapter 1, and half of chapter 2 written.

WARNINGS: violence, death, blood. Also some swearing.


Hunt your nightmares, or die trying.

Demons lurk in the shadows, hunting by night and preying on innocents.
You are a Venator, a demonhunter who is bound to a demon, giving you the ability to destroy them. You and your kind are the only ones stopping the demons from wreaking death upon the city.

Features:

  • Play as male, female, non-binary, and gay, straight, or bi.

  • Befriend your fellow demon hunters… or make enemies. (Or… possibly romance them :wink:)

  • Choose your weapon and skillset.

  • Your demon can have 3 different personalities depending on your personality.

  • Unravel the plot behind several disappearances.

  • Choose to help the Venators… or SIDE WITH THE DEMONS!!

My Sales Pitch

The Venators are a group of demon hunters that works from the shadows to protect people from threats they don’t even know exist. You are one of these Venators, trained since youth to hunt and destroy demons. When you and your mentor return to the city of Ashgarde, the birthplace of demons, you discover things are taking a turn for the worse - there are more demons than ever, Venators are disappearing without a trace, and unknown threats lurk in the night.

I’d like to think that it’s character-driven.

Characters and RO's

Your mentor
The man who took you into the Venators and trained you for years, Alastair McCarthy. A gruff old man who seems to have a bit of a soft spot for you.

Your demon
The demon residing in your mind, bound to you until death. His name is Jack, and he can be a sassy, subdued, or straight-up sadistic companion.

ROs
Stanton - 5’11", brown hair and green eyes. A haughty but talented Venator who dreams of becoming a scientist. He possesses a keen wit that is not always used for good; there is most likely a scathing insult ready to be hurled from his tongue at any given moment.

Ellie - 5’8", dark brown hair and amber eyes. An eager and confident Venator who is outgoing, and perhaps a bit too careless. She is the spirit of the group who keeps careful track of everyone’s martial success, if only to remind others of her aptitude for killing demons.

Curtis - 6’3", light brown hair and dark blue eyes. An earnest Venator who loves protecting others, whether it be his friends or innocent people. He can be a bit dense sometimes, but he tries his best to keep the others out of as much trouble as he can.

Warren - 5’8", curly dark hair and dark eyes. A quiet but compassionate Venator who would rather be making music than killing things. He can be aloof and rather eccentric, and can often be found sleeping in or slacking off, much to the ire of his mentor.

Grace - 5"4, black hair and light brown eyes. A studious and gentle Venator who acts as a medic. She lacks any inclination for violence and only ever goes into the field to heal. Painfully shy and socially awkward, yet she will always be there if her friends need her.

UNKNOWN! - not telling you about this one, although I’m sure you can all figure it out. Fine, here’s the physical description. 5’7", blonde hair and pale blue eyes.

2 other potential ROs? Depending on how things play out/if people would be interested (1 nb option (5’10", pale hair and gray eyes) and 1 male option (6’0", black hair and yellow eyes).


DEMO: https://dashingdon.com/go/1480


Anyway, yeah! I hope you enjoy reading it. Any feedback/criticisms would be super helpful! Any awkward wordings, pacing problems, or misspellings? Any plot points that sound stupid or characters who are inconsistent (even within the first two chapters)? Also, a big thing I would love to hear are thoughts on if I didn’t include choices that people would actually realistically make, mostly dialogue-wise. (Did I phrase that clearly? Probably not. I’m tired.) Please let me know! Also mentioning any bugs present would be helpful. I know I have a lot to work on, so thank you for your patience!


Updates

11/2/2020: prologue, ch1, half of ch2. ~36,000 words (+code)

11/4/2020: small small update to ch2. (added ~2,000 words, (+code))

180 Likes

Welcome to the community - I’m sure there will be lots of support.

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Welcome to the community now i am going to read this right now

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I’d just like to know what kind of higher learning our father is paying for where he gets mad cos I wanna sleep in for a bit longer, like gosh dad chill.

But onto the story. I like it, I’m a sucker for these types of stories anyhow and I do believe that this story has great potential. I do kinda wish I a bit more about what the colors meant before picking them, unless you meant for us to simply choose it based off of our favorite color. And am I right in assuming that the color affects what kind of demon we are?

But anyway I’ll definitely be watching out for this.

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@Eiwynn @DUNGEON_MASTER Thanks!

@ToxicDreams I had in mind just an aesthetic purpose for the different colors. Right now, the demon type is based on choices made in the prologue. Thanks for the feedback!

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I just finished playing through the game so far.
Did your family know about the Venators prior to your father’s death?
Also, who is the mystery woman.
Overall, I like it.
But what is the demon in the stats page about?

So far, so good. Well written and entertaining!

This definitely was interesring and cannot wait to see what it becomes.

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Off to a good start! It was a little strange to be thrust into a situation with characters we didn’t know but our character did. You might want to give us more world building at the start. Maybe show more of their training?

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Thanks for the encouragement and feedback everyone!
I will try to clear up some of my writing and the world a bit more; I know it’s pretty messy and not terribly fleshed out. I have pages of ideas and lore, but I don’t want to fall into writing huge blocks of exposition. I’ll try to find a balance.

To answer some questions,
@Phaerimm The MC is a demon hunter who is bound to a demon.
@Snowflower Most people don’t know about the Venators, as they are a very clandestine group, and the demon in the stat page is what type of demon is bound to you.

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Good stuff so far. What types of demons can we be bound to? I got sorrow demon so I’m interested to know what the others are.

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Will we be able to romance a demon

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love the story, its something i’d enjoy reading and more so when demons and dark stuff is involved; cant wait to see where it turns.

Glad your giving it a shot going to read it ASAP

I personally really enjoyed it and i think you got something going here intressting story and could have a hell of alot of fun if you want to kick some demon

I got mischief demon. ( is that a good thing ? )

It was a nice game though the first choices didn’t didn’t have didn’t have much impact on skills ( I hoped after the bully fight my physical attribute would increase massively :cry: ).
The mystery woman got all of my curiosity ( Is she related to the-venators-went-missing thing :wink: )

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3 demons. sorrow, mischief and death.

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I love the premise for a start! And though we only got small bits of dialogue from each of the characters it seems that they have tons of personality which i appreciate. :slight_smile: goodluck on this wip!!!

How do I get death? I’ve only gotten sorrow.

I got mischief demon seems just right for me XD

2 Likes