@Domates I was wondering, will all the RO’s be player-sexual?
Yes, all four of them are bisexual.
1 Like
So I should replay as a straight guy just to see how much better they have it? 
I do certainly see the value of such a victory, but I feel that there is more value to be gained by presenting a society without bigotry, especially if it’s not going to be the focus of the story. For one thing, as I already said, presenting a society with bigotry is not going to challenge the worldview of a bigot, but conversely, presenting a society without bigotry might. For another, while some gay and female players would be perfectly happy fighting for their rights, others will just see it as a depressing confirmation of the bigotry they face in the real world.
In the end, it’s up to you, but I’d certainly suggest changing it.
2 Likes
Hahaha that got me. But when I said that I was referring to genders. But it could possibly apply to sexuality as well.
By replayability I mean in terms of different dialogue etc.
2 Likes
Yes, like I said I would very much like to be able to adopt my mc’s heir. Still I wouldn’t like having to take a wife for any political purposes.
In this game that means my mc wouldn’t only want to adopt a teenager, but preferably one from the lower classes, so he has at least someone at court who doesn’t look down on him or view him with contempt.
However I think so many of these stories are based on the whole Christian “sang real”, bloodlines thingy because that is the easiest way for the concept of a “rightful” King to make sense. If it was an adoption system then the mc might well not have been their father’s heir.
While you can usurp from an adopted next in line heir the legitimacy argument does become inherently weaker in that case.
I’d caution against it too, particularly because it seems to me that in this setup this game has the mc could very easily end up as a meaningless figurehead with no power whatsoever, since they lack their own contacts among the upper classes and education for the King job for starters.
1 Like
Star crossed romance with the princess. Loved it.
1 Like
I think you should put in more descriptions of the characters appearances
1 Like
Just 2 questions for now. 
- What are the personalities of each RO? Can you enlighten your curious readers?
- Is the RO list final or are you going to add more?
4 Likes
Same here. When I play female characters who are looked down upon for being female or guy who looked on because of his position in life (etc.), it’s always a nice feeling when I win. It brings a sneer smile to my face.
9 Likes
The idea is great! But it needs some serious help with grammar mistakes. There’s a LOT of them. And English is not even my first language, so if I took notice, imagine most of the readers whose native tongue IS English.
4 Likes
Ava is stubborn and aggressive, but she’s a nice person down deep inside. She gets angry so fast and doesn’t forget your mistakes. She doesn’t forgive easily.
Alec is the opposite of Ava. He’s kind and merciful person. He forgives everyone easily.
Julian is flirtatious and funny. He doesn’t care about anything much and makes fun of everything.
Princess Adeline is a stubborn and strong woman. She’s kind person, but sometimes she shows her angry side. And her angry side is pretty scary 
I think it’s final list because I don’t want to add more.
I understand English is my third language and I’m trying to improve my English by writing and reading 
I would be very happy if you let me know about the mistakes so I can fix it.
3 Likes
I’m looking forward to seeing more of the royal visit!
UPDATE 7/12
- Some grammar mistakes are fixed.
- More childhood scenes are added.
- You can meet all ROs.
Please, inform me if you find mistakes in the story.
12 Likes
I really like this game and I cant wait to see more! Good job
PS: Are you Turkish? Domates means tomato in turkish. Im from Turkey as well, so I was curious. 
Yeah, I’m Turkish
Thank you
1 Like
I always wanted to write a CoG game but I dont trust my English. It makes me braver to see you actually making one! Thank you for that. Maybe I’ll try it out too.
3 Likes
You should try it out. My English is not good either, but I’m improving by writing game. Don’t worry, your English will get better. People here are so kind, they will help you.
1 Like
Hey! I’m interested to see where this is going, although I’m hoping I’ll have an option to depose the king without taking the throne myself. 
I played through and did my best to help you out with some (mostly spelling/grammar) errors. I hope this helps!
Corrections
“the eldest daughter of him” → “his eldest daughter, Ava, doesn’t like you at all.”
“Maybe, it’s just jealousy.” → “Maybe it’s just jealousy.”
Maybe it’s because she just thinks you’re a soldier who doesn’t deserve to be loved like that. → “Maybe it’s because she thinks you’re just a soldier who doesn’t deserve to be loved like that.”
“one of their guards - Richard.” → “one of their guards, Richard.”
" Lord Arthur’s son - Alec." → “Lord Arthur’s son, Alec, and Richard didn’t know about that.”
(General note that ellipses (…) should have 3 dots, not 2.)
“You can barely contain your excitement because you will see your good friend - Alec very soon.” → “You can barely contain your excitement because you will see your good friend, Alec, very soon.”
“You seem happy, my child,” Your father - King Charles comments with a slight smile on his face. → “You seem happy, my child,” your father, King Charles, comments with a slight smile on his face.
[General note to say that when introducing a person (like your father, King Charles) you want a comma and not a hyphen. I won’t be pointing out specific examples of that from here because it seems to be a common trend.]
“It’s because of Alec, right Alexandre?” Your mother says, winking at you. → “It’s because of Alec, right, Alexandre?” your mother says, winking at you.
King Charles and Lord Arthur have been great friends since the childhood. They haven’t met and talk properly since your father become the King. Not only you, but also your father is glad to finally see his good friend. →
King Charles and Lord Arthur have been great friends since their own childhood. They haven’t had a chance to talk properly since your father became the King. You aren’t the only one who is glad to finally see your good friend.
A few seconds later, your mother and father approach to the family. → A few seconds later, your mother and father approach the family.
“You may rise,” The King orders with his husky voice as everyone stands up to feet. → “You may rise,” the King orders with his husky voice, and everyone stands.
Even though he’s two years older than you, you get along with him very well. → Even though Alec is two years older than you, you get along with him very well.
He sits under a big, Oak tree with a soft sigh. → He sits under a big oak tree with a soft sigh.
Alec sighs softly turning to look at you. “What does make you feel safe?” He asks. → Alec sighs again, turning to look at you. “What makes you feel safe?” he asks.
“You are such a kind man, my Lord,” The Queen comments, smiling softly at Lord Arthur. → “You are such a king man, my Lord,” the Queen comments, smiling softly at Lord Arthur.
[Leaving a General Note here to say that when you end a quotation mark with a comma (or, rather, when the phrase outside of the quotation is a dependent clause), the next word should not be capitalised. That’s why I changed “The” to “the”. I won’t be pointing out specific examples of this from here since it’s a thing you do regularly.]
“[Player] may stay here for a week, because I trust Lord Arthur and think that he will protect him no matter what.” → “[Player] may stay here for a week, because I know your father will protect him no matter what.”
“You think correct, Your Grace.” Lord Arthur responds. “[Player] is not only yours, but also the child of mine.” → “You’re correct, Your Grace,” Lord Arthur responds. “[Player] is like my own child.” (This isn’t a grammar change but the original sentence reads unnaturally.)
“It’s very good to hear, my Lord.” → “That’s very good to hear, My Lord.” OR “It’s very good to hear that, my Lord.”
hand on hand combat → hand-to-hand combat
“[Player], are you alright?” Your hear a familiar voice asking you. → “[Player], are you alright?” you hear a familiar voice ask.
tilts his head, clearly is not convinced. → tilts his head, clearly unconvinced.
Ava claps her hands, smiling happilty. → Ava claps her hands, smiling happily.
It will be dangerous and scary evening. Anything, but good. → It will be a dangerous and scary evening. Anything but good.
“I strongly agree,” Julian - the other son of Lord Davria comments. → “I strongly agree,” Julian, the other son of Lord Davria, comments.
“I still wonder why he hates our father this much.” Julian asks, looking between Alec and Ava and ignores you. → “I still wonder why he hates our father this much,” Julian asks, looking between Alec and Ava and ignoring you.
“It’s not my place to talk about that.” Alec replies, → “It’s not my place to talk about that,” Alec replies,
[Again, if the bit outside the quotation doesn’t stand as a sentence in its own right, you need a comma rather than a period to end the quotation. Leaving this as another general note.]
“When I ask father about it, he always refuses to answer,” Ava clenches her jaw angrily, rolling her eyes. → “When I ask father about it, he always refuses to answer.” Ava clenches her jaw angrily, rolling her eyes.
[This is the opposite. Since the bit outside of the question is an independent clause (stands as its own sentence), you want a period instead of a comma to end the quotation.]
“No!” Alec shouts at his sister. → “No!” Alec shouts at his brother. [He’s talking to Julian, not Ava.]
Julian answers through the gritted teeth, throwing a glare at his brother’s way. → Julian answers through gritted teeth, throwing a glare his brother’s way.
“Very well,” Alec finally says, getting up to feet. → “Very well,” Alec finally says, getting to his feet.
“Just because my father treats you as if you’re a noble or something, doesn’t mean you are his son. You’re nothing, but a soldier whose duty is to defend our House and family.” → “Just because my father treats you as if you’re a noble or something doesn’t mean you are his son. You’re nothing but a soldier whose duty is to defend our House and family.”
After these harsh words, Ava turns around and leaves without waiting for your respond. → …without waiting for your response.
He can easily destroy House Davria if he wants. But he need an excuse for it. → He can easily destroy House Davria if he wants, but he needs an excuse for it.
If he do something without a reason or an excuse, people will not trust him. → If he does something without a reason or an excuse, people will not trust him.
I don’t know about you, but I’m getting nervous every moment passes." → I don’t know about you, but I’m getting more nervous every moment."
You were five and Alec was seven years old when you see your family one last time before they die. → You were five and Alec was seven years old when you saw your family for the last time.
Remember that Oak tree? → Remember that oak tree?
Alec says, his lips curl into a small smile. → Alec says, his lips curling into a small smile.
Alec turns his body to you, looking deeply into your eyes. “Whatever happens, I will always defend you, Alexandre,” Alec promises. “You’re my childhood friend. You’re special.” (You repeated this twice. Just give the response option at the end of the first paragraph block.)
“as the smile on his face grows harder.” (You’ve used this phrase twice now. A smile “growing hard” to me would mean it’s growing more forced, but I think you mean “larger”, not harder.)
You know even though he sees you, he can never recognize you. But you cannot risk it. You see him slowly approaching to the castle with his daughter and some guards by his side. → You know that even if he saw you, he would never recognize you, but you cannot risk it. You see him slowly approaching the castle with his daughter and some guards by his side.
You can’t help, but notice how beautiful his daughter is. → You can’t help but notice how beautiful his daughter is.
She looks so innocent as if she’s not the daughter of an evil man. → She looks so innocent, as if she were not the daughter of an evil man.
He’s more skilled knight now. → He’s a more skilled knight now. (You might want “He’s a veteran knight now.” since skill isn’t something that you can visually see.)
“You may rise.” The King orders and everyone gets up to feet immediately. → “You may rise,” the King orders, and everyone gets to their feet immediately.
“Very impressive,” He says, you are not sure if it’s a sarcasm or not. → “Very impressive,” he says. You aren’t sure if it’s sarcasm or not.
And then, her baby blue eyes find your [eye color] ones. → Then, her baby blue eyes find your [eye color] ones.
She doesn’t break the eye contact with you as the nervousness washes over you. → She doesn’t break eye contact with you, and a sense of nervousness washes over you.
You shouldn’t feel nervous at all though since there’s no way she can recognize you. She has never seen you before. → You tell yourself that there’s nothing to be nervous about, since there’s no way she can recognize you if she’s never seen you before. (Style edit, mostly.)
The King’s voice breaks upon in your thoughts as you and the princess bring your attention back to him. → The King’s voice breaks your thoughts as you and the princess bring your attention back to him.
Since you have very much time, what is your plan? → Since you have a lot of free time, what is your plan?
You are not surprised by that reaction though. Just because Lord Davria treats you with great kindness, some of them do not like you. → You are not surprised by that reaction,though. Some of them don’t like you, because Lord Davria treats you with special kindness.
You decide to visit training ground and practice your skills. → You decide to visit the training ground and practice your skills.
The best way to clear a mind is to forget about the reality. → The best way to clear your mind is to forget about reality.
You lost your family and home when you were just six years old child. → You lost your family and home when you were just a six-year-old child. (Note: You said earlier in conversation with Alec that you were five, not six.)
You immediately open your eyes as soon as you feel someone approaching to you. → You immediately open your eyes when you feel someone approaching you.
“Well, you does make me uncomfortable.” → “Well, you do make me uncomfortable.”
1 Like
i love medieval games… but i never liked vs stats and let me point why,
for example in your game there is Heart: 50% vs Mind: 50%
implying that either my mc use his head to act or his heart…why does have to be one side or the other? i think we can be both.
my mc can act with his heart in a situation where someone he loves is in danger, but who is to say that i will do the same in situation where is only fellow soldiers or comrades? is just inteligible for me that someone is forced one side or the other, that why i never liked vs stats and never will.
except that the game looks good so i will keep an eye for your wip and hope someday is in the hosted games label 
5 Likes
Just to give you a heads up, asking for release dates or updates is against forum rules.
3 Likes