Was something missing here?!?
Alice or MC hadn’t said anything 'bout/to Lilly and Cory here for them to stop in their tracks…
Yeah…I plan to put up the improved draft of the previous chapters in my next update with Ch 5 and Ch 6. I have put in a few new improvs in there.
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I will be fixing that… 
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Well…I kinda added it randomly…but if its really weird and you want me to change it…let me know.
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Why is the MC’s relationship with A so weird?
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You’ll see…
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Yea that’s not ominous at all
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Is good to know that one of the RO’s already willing to kill Mc 
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Just makes interacting with them that much more fun. 
Anyway. The reasons they do it, loyalty, means that at least if you can bring them around, well. Again, loyalty.
I just finished uploading a better improved version of Chapter 1 to 4 and also Chapter 5 and Chapter 6.
I have added a few extra choices to balance out the choice:text ratio and have also tried to improve the reading and writing quality of the chapters. A special thank you to all the people who gave me pointers on the writing side, I have tried to improve and have been practicing on that. Let me know if it’s improved or if there is scope for more.
I have also changed the physical descriptions and the surnames of a few ROs. But don’t worry, I haven’t changed their core or personalities. I have also changed the NH’s recruitment issues and removed the prologue’s part two because I have a new idea up my sleeve. Many thanks to all of you for pointing out my coding and pronoun errors. And a hats off to all of you for your patience with my silly mistakes.
If you have any pointers for anything, be it grammar, wording, ideas for scenes or issues with coding, do let me know. 
Oh and one more tiny favor…Could someone change the title of my post to “The Night Hunters: First Blood [Updated 10/1/21]”
I joined in October and don’t have the access.
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Done. I also changed the update date in the post if you don’t mind. 
Thank you so much…yeah I don’t mind the date change. It’s a okay.
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Lot more bold than is necessary, more than a few bolded lines like the ones for your arrest don’t have periods or ending punctuation. When you use bold so much it more or less becomes window dressing to the reader.
“Attempt of murder” should be “attempted murder”.
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About the attempt to murder, can you outline that part for me, so that I can fix it. And I’ll push the bold down.
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Hi I have a small suggestion. For numbers instead of just putting it down write the word out instead. So instead of 10 you put ten etc. I think it will flow better with the rest of the paragraph. Obviously you don’t have to do this and certainly not with huge numbers
You made me cry when I read my character Moua Oka but how he has hurt a governor broke both his legs this brings a tear in my eyes and I feel proud for my son you did a great job Varyn beautiful f****** job:rofl:
Inspiration comes from genius like you…
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