If I may make a suggestion:
Have the demon trigger random memories of people shrugging, snarling, waving their arms, or whatever. It would be him manipulating your brain - and you can use your descriptors easier in a more haunting/demonic way.
This is just a suggestion, ultimately it will be up to you, just the way it was playing out was breaking the fourth wall of believability for me.
Wow, that’s a cool, creative, creepy little suggestion! Consider it done.
But it will stop when we have a good relationship with him right or will i have to hear those voices till ( eternity in echo )
Your relationship with him will end up effecting some things he says to you, and whether or not he helps you in some instances, but he will always be there talking to you.
Do you not like Zaleth 
?
I like him as much as water loves oil but only because i dont want another me talking in my brain - i sound like nygma from gotham
Though he dosent like me to go and play chess or visiting library or visiting forest , so yeah he approves all of my choices.
Well Zaleth will probably end up being the biggest supporting character, though others (like Mabelin, Rigel, Violet, and Keano) will have tons of “screen time” as well.
Okay so i have to meditate when i have time because i am going to have some competition in criticism
Speaking of Zaleth, for some reason every time he talks, I always “hear” him speaking in a smooth British accent with a dark undertone… and yes, I’m aware that the story already gave a description of how Zaleth speaks, and I have tried correcting my brain so I can “hear” the right accent and voice… in short, I’m just wondering if anyone else has given Zaleth a different accent too?
I give zaleth a slightly more accent as it reminds me of Jackie’s partner in the darkness 2, (he even uses the same nickname 
)
I absolutely adored this demo! A great taste of your new game, filled to the brim with promise! I only have two inquiries:
I know you have updates planned, but I’m simply too curious. May I get more information on the Dark and Stealth Magic, in this game, please?
Will I be able to ask that guard lady to train me how to (properly) use the staff in the near future? I can just see a scene where I use one on those blasted bullies instead of magic to put them in their places, and show that demon inside me that I can handle myself! (With more training).
Thanks so much!
1.) Destruction magic: You will be able to do things like creating fireballs, caving in the ground, growing claws, and rendering doors to splinters.
Stealth magic: You will be able to do things like extinguishing all the lights around you (but still having adequate eyesight yourself), turning invisible, and moving without any sounds.
If anyone else is curious, here’s light magic as well: you will be able to have healing abilities, create flashes of light, and calm crowds or individual people with your magic.
Keep in mind that you only have one mana so you will only be able to use one minor spell per day.
2.) For sure! One of the jobs you can choose from will be a position in the village guard, and you’ll also be able to go to the sparing arena some more. I’m planning on having a big confrontation with Killian, Verim, and Petre in chapter three where you can potentially wreck Killian.
how about earth magic?
As much as I love earth magic, I wanna keep it down to these three, lest I get too bogged down.
Plus these characters aren’t benders or ninjas so an attack like either of the ones above would break all of your enemy’s bones instantly, and where’s the fun in that? 
Disappointing but understandable
Random information for really good chess players…
So I never knew that some Universities have Chess Scholarships.
Pretty awesome if you ask me.
Here’s one:
https://www.utdallas.edu/chess/scholarships/
Yep, it’s pretty cool. I don’t think any of us are International Masters or Grandmasters, let alone National Masters, though.
Wow! This is very game! I played it.
I find his insulting sarcasm refreshing. Although it does tempt me to kill all the characters. Slightly want the option to follow his advice.
Heehee. I think, after I post Chapter Two, I’m gonna go back and at least add some choices where you can go through with some of the pranks he suggests. (Pretending to shove Keano off the tree, putting needles between the pages of random books at the library, etc)
My goal is to amp up the sarcasm to over 2000 for this story. Zaleth is constantly callous and sarcastic, Violet and Keano can occasionally be sarcastic, and Mabelin is almost as sarcastic as the demon is.
Due to my very busy schedule and addiction to playing chess, I haven’t been writing as much lately. Progress is still going slow but steady, though. So far I have 4k for chapter 2, though this chapter may end up being up to 30k.
Here’s a little snippet:
Killian smirks dumbly and glances at Rigel, saying, “How’s it going, stick insect?”
Rigel frowns and replies, “Not very well, since you’re here. And you’re not exactly the pinnacle of the human physique yourself.”
Petre arches an eyebrow and pipes up. “Human physique? Sounds perverted.”
Verim crosses his arms and says, “Hey, boss, I have no idea what that bookworm said, but I’m pretty sure it was an insult!”
Killian glares at Rigel and jabs a finger at his chest, replying, “Hey, you better bite your tongue or I’ll bite it for you!”
The healer crinkles his brow, looking confused, and responds, “Uh, what…? That’s not even a saying. And that’s gross.”
Killian stalks over to him and growls, “I said shut it!”
Rigel squeaks, “Yes sir!” And buries his face in his book.