The Lightbringer Chronicle: Book One — The Fallen Veil (WIP)

[Artklik]

Hello everyone! I’m a new writer currently working on my first game titled The Fallen Veil. I plan to make it a series although I understand that it is something that will be determined at a later point based on interest and how well it goes for me.

I have no formal experience in writing and am not from an english speaking country, but I’ve been a fan of Interactive Novels for a long time and code for uni, so I decided to try something out.

For now, I’ve just written up the character creation sequence, with an in narrative exposition of some concepts and I am working on Chapter 1 right now.

The character creation sequence is done from a future point of view, the MC is recounting who they were and what they could do. In Chapter 1, the narration changes to a standard present tense one, with occasional tidbits added by the MCs future self throughout the story.

Any feedback is welcome, whether naming, grammar or notifying me of the existence of terms or names.

The demo is available here: CoGDemos

Summary

The Lightbringer Chronicles: Book One – The Fallen Veil is an interactive dark urban fantasy novel where you take on the role of a young wizard—one of the last of your kind—trained in secret within a hidden school known only as the House. You are also something more, born of mortal blood and something far older, caught between the ancient war of Heaven and Hell… and the lies your mother told to keep you safe.

Features

• Play as male, female or non-binary.
• Sexuality is completely determined by you and the characters are all player-sexual.
• Wield powerful magic known as Unveiling, with six areas to choose from and combine.
• Overcome your guilt, solve a mystery and seek Justice or Vengeance against the one who ruined your life.
• Shape what kind of wizard you will be - a power hungry elementalist, a gentle healer and spirit whisperer, an enigmatic prophet or anything in between.
• Choose your focus that will shape not why you do magic, but how. The Pen-Sword - a weapon and tool both - fast and precise. The Golden Ring - structured and geometrical - magic bound by mortal will. The Sigiled Amulet - an artifact of a bygone age, when words shaped reality - subtle and stylish.

Cheat Mode

I was inspired by games like Aura Clash and PoMA to add a kind of cheat mode called Scion Mode to the game, and will try to write with it in mind.

Inspiration

Mostly by Urban Fantasy novels such as The Dresden Files and the World of Darkness, although I try to stay original with my lore, in-universe rules and how things are named.

Writing Roadmap

As mentioned above, I plan to make it a series, with three books currently in mind. I know that for a first time choice writer that might be too hard, but I believe that I owe it to myself to at least try.

Prologue/Character Creation - Complete
Chapter 1 - In progress
Chapter 3 - Not Started
Chapter 4 - Not Started
Chapter 5 - Not Started
Chapter 6 - Not Started
Chapter 7 - Not Started
Chapter 8 - Not Started
Chapter 9 - Not Started
Chapter 10 - Not Started
Chapter 11 - Not Started
Chapter 12 - Not Started
Epilogue - Not Started

Current Wordcount

The current word count is 6,5k words with code

RO's

Currently there are 4 RO’s written up and more might be added later. If you guys have any ideas for characters, their appearance or look, feel free to text me and I might use them later.

• Ralph - the oldest student in the House, main antagonist for the first book, but redeemable and romanceable if so desired.
  Headstrong, rageful and grief-stricken.
  193cm/6’3", short dark hair, greek features and dark brown eyes.
  18 years old before the timeskip and 23 after.
  Race: White - Greek heritage.
• Polly/Pollyanna - daughter of the MCs mentor after the incident at the House. A quarter music nymph by virtue of her father.
  Bubbly, positive and energetic.
  170cm/5’8", curly dark brown hair and bright green eyes specked with blue.
  The same age as the MC, 16 before the timeskip and 21 after.
  Race: Mixed - White/Black
• Zoe - a newly turned vampire and art student at a local college.
  Cold, resentful but trying to resist her darker nature.
  160cm/5’4", white hair in a bob, pale almost gray skin and reddish brown eyes.
  17 years old before the timeskip and 22 after.
  Race: White - English heritage
• Xander - a mortal Veil-touched human with a talent for seeing things as they are. Works as a volunteer wherever he can.
  Caring, compassionate and gentle, he always tries to help people, even to his own self-detriment.
  185cm/6’1", black shoulder length hair, tunnel earrings, various indie tattoos all over his body.
  20 years old before the timeskip and 25 after.
  Race: Mixed - Mostly Japanese/White

Character Art

Now obviously this is AI generated and I have no intention of pretending otherwise. I would commission artists but for now that is infeasible as I’ve just started and am a broke 21 year old college student lol. So for now these representations will stay up just for reference.

Ralph

Zoe

Polly

Xander

[Chickenboy11]

Premise seems cool and I can’t wait to see how you create this story!

[Artklik]

Thanks! I appreciate it. For now it’s planned to be an exploration of trauma, guilt and overcoming them, from a psychological point of view and a secret world that is just beyond reach for most from a thematic point of view.

[Rui_Filipe]

Looks really interesting. Can’t wait to see where this story goes. It’d be pretty fun roleplaying a Mashle type charater. Just yeets the magic with raw strength lol
Keep up the good work.

[Artklik]

Thanks! Yeah, I’ve designed my magic system to be flexible and allow for different combos and overlaps with physical stats.

If you want to be a physical wizard I definitely recommend the Pen-Sword focus as it enhances quick-casting and merges physicality with Unveilings.

Although nothing will prevent you from just punching or throwing people if desired.

[Syrwell_Fallenwood]

The Lightbringer Chronicles: Book One – The Fallen Veil presents a rich, dark, and captivating world where urban fantasy blends seamlessly with ancient conflicts and deeply personal secrets. The hidden “House,” the rarity of wizards, and the protagonist’s dual nature—born of mortal blood and something far older—create an immersive atmosphere full of mystery and promise. It’s a story that sparks the imagination and pulls you in completely. I’m eagerly looking forward to future updates and the next chapters in this fascinating universe!

[Artklik]

Reads like a real critic review hahahaha. Thank you and good luck with your own work!

[Haaron]

A promising start. I sincerely hope that this book will not suffer the fate of the A Mage Reborn series. So far, I’m cautiously optimistic.

[Artklik]

Man, I hope so too. My main concern right now is how to balance power later on to be honest. Because in my universe magic doesn’t have many drawbacks, higher level magic unlocked in the next books might be something that will be hard to manage.

Time for example is very nice at lower levels, because it acts more as a prophetic tool and rarely as a combat one, but level 4-5 should lore-wise allow the player to change the past and accurately know what is going to happen passively.

Might have to limit it somehow but that feels kinda cheap.

[Haaron]

I would recommend to see how OP magick is balanced in the World of Darkness through consensus and introduce some restrictions on time magick.

[Artklik]

Yeah I thought about that, but again to me it kinda feels cheap and like it goes against my established lore. Maybe I’ll leave those as options at critical moments, with some grander force working actively to prevent big changes to the timeline or something like that.

[Haaron]

The words “no drawbacks” and “time manipulation” should not be found together anywhere. It usually ends badly.

[Artklik]

Hah true enough. Although I think that hubris, arrogance and abuse of power are important in the context of magic and wizard media, I think the punishment for that kind of stuff should be less “Oh my God you’ve delved to deep in your arrogance and now you’ve doomed yourself along with us!” instant karma type stuff and more “The past that I altered led to a future that no longer aligns with what I wanted and now I am stuck in a perpetual loop of regret and grief.” type of of punishment.

For example wizards in my lore did not almost go extinct because of the inquisition or waning belief in magic like WoD, but the simple fact that while they were out there changing reality and its laws without perceived consequences the world progressed beyond the need for wise men and sages.

And so wizards that bothered to have children of their own to continue the line were becoming increasingly rare. Other outside entities also have a stake in what happens to Creation so the ones that tried to challenge fundamental things like Timeflow or Death were opposed by them.

In the end I believe that my point is that power should not be punished on its own, but if whatever you decide to do with that power opposes someone or something else then you have yourself a problem.

There are of course some spoilers that explain more clearly what happened to wizardkind and why, but it’s safe to say that it wasn’t the inherent drawbacks of magic that did them in.

[Haaron]

Then it will be very interesting for me to see/read how you implement this philosophy.

[Artklik]

I will certainly try to stay true to that, but we’ll see how well it transfers into a choice game format.

Hope it won’t turn into a mess.

[Haaron]

There is already a lifeline here, I noticed: the paragraph above, when the mother talks about focus things…or it’s my hope/fantasy…

[Artklik]

You mean the part where she says that magic is limited by what the mind can handle? It is a kind of natural limiter, yes. Although you wield in the words of the Genie: “Phenomenal Cosmic Power”, your mind is still human, excluding any high level Mind magic shenanigans.

So at a practical level it helps to associate everything you do with something you understand.

As she says after that though, it is possible to grow beyond that, but by then the question is whether it’s a good idea or not. It will let you perform more abstract magic, but to do that your thought patterns will barely be human anymore.

And the cool thing is - that’s kind of the point. At that level of ability you’re not a monkey with a gun but you kind of become the gun itself, free to control your parts and curve bullets that shoot out of you like limbs.

TLDR - You’re something beyond human at that point.

[Harley_Robin_Evans]

Sounds interesting

[Artklik]

Thank you! It’s nice to hear people like it.

[Artklik]

It’s mostly cosmetic, but it will affect certain interactions later. Not in any significant way though.