@Anathema I couldn’t help myself and went code diving 
and I think this is supposed to be Ysabella_Romance +1…unless it was on purpose, in which case ignore me 
#"Enigma?" you smile at Ysabella. "How I like that."
*set Alain_Romance -1
*set Ysabella_Romance -1
*set Ysabella %+5
*set Sarcastic %+5
Nice catch! It was definitely supposed to be plus. Thank you, Chaseley 
Just found your blog on tumblr and I have to say I adore your writing style so much! And I love the premise, can’t wait to see what happens next 
heya, snooped in code a bit if you don’t mind and found a really high stat check for beating will without taking a hit (combat>=40), but didn’t find a way to get combat that high at that point. that intentional?
Oh, you’re right! So that means no one has seen the scene where you easily beat Will 
Thank you so much for telling me! I’ve fixed it, I’m not sure if I should update the files or not because it may mess with people’s saves but it will be fixed in the next update.
Edit: I’m actually going to rewrite that scene. I just read it and I’m not happy with it. If you pass the stat check, you should beat Will with a lot more style.
The romance with alessa is 
. But now ive met ysabella 
Just found this wip… Started off romancing hadrian but then found alain 
love how witty he is and the fact that he’s a theer. The ball should be verrrry interesting… . I’m also intruiged by the elusive Rafael. 
So I have various saves for all the male RO’s haha.
Also the writing is superb. Honestly it’s a++++ I just feel the characters and world so much. In real life I’m not that religious but I really like it in this wip. Excited to see the final book. Well done author 
btw on the subject of that scene, being able to persuade the others but still stand a chance against will would be nice. the persuade check is awfully close (30) to the stats if we increase influence and combat (28). ya don’t have to though, and thanks for fixing the combat check
And yet another poor soul falls victim to A’s charm…
laughs hysterically
Since you can intimidate them with the same result, I don’t really see the point of lowering the Persuasion check. 
right, no probs, just asking.
Wow this story is really good, would wait for this to be released…would bought it in a heartbeat
@anathema Já peço desculpas adiantado por ser um chato, mas é de coração 
Hi, I decided to give this baby another playthrough and decided to romance Hadrian instead of Alessa this time. I made sure to write down all the typos I found, which, sadly, I did not do the first time around. I tried to keep only to typos as much as I could, but every now and then I found the word choice so awkward as to believe it was maybe made by accident. However, if those were really meant to be that way, just disregard silly little me.
===============================================
I used the following template:
• line number in the raw text file
quote with the supposed mistake in bold
— proposed correction
================================================
As I combed through the files I realized how much thought you put into it. It’s nothing short of amazing. Even the smallest choices can render a different phrase here and there, chapters later. There are so many ways a single event can turn out, I’m awestruck.
• 587, 686, 723
The wind blows forth trice as strong, and you sway slightly under its force.
— thrice
• 842
You try to keep your wits about you, but your chest is hurting so much you would trade your souls for a single gulp of air.
— soul (unless it was on purpose)
• 4258
“It hasn’t, hasn’t it?” Hadrian latches on, apparently glad for your support. “Such things are not unheard of.”
— “It hasn’t, has it?” or “It has, hasn’t it?”
• 4262
“What of possessions. Spirits. Have you heard of those too?”
— What of possessions? Spirits?
• 57
It was a small and isolated agriculture community, its name unknown to anyone but the people apart of it.
— a part of it
• 169
What happened with Rafael must have really gotten to him, and this heat it’s probably not helping much.
— is
• 1196
And then another, until it was no longer a stream but a fully fledge river, rushing along to reach the sea.
— fledged
• 1200
Billy… you crane your neck and spot him in the same place he’s been in for the last ten minutes, by a tick bulky tree with long, low-hanging branches.
— thick
• 1325
The ladybug suddenly stops and turns toward you, its antennas quavering against the air.
— towards (You’ve been using the British spelling so far, also on line 1770, 1896)
— “antennas” is not wrong at all, but it’s more of a modern acquisition. The old-fashioned way is antennae, taken straight from Latin. Since the story is medieval and in places the writing adopts an old-fashioned style I thought of pointing that out.
• 1379
Your trained eye zooms in on the stances this ragged band is adopting.
— Your trained eyes zoom in… (Unless only one of the eyes is trained.)
• 2646
The question is, how forgiven are you feeling?
— ‘forgiving’
• 3081
Your knee hits the ground painfully, but all you’re aware is of Will’s hulking form right behind you.
— …, but all you’re aware of is Will’s hulking…
• 3083
His smile his wide and cruel as he brings it down, in what he hopes to be the final blow.
— is
• 3131
Pierce thought Will’s big fleshy belly.
— through
• 4407
You hold eye contact, and something charged cames down your back as her face hardens.
— comes
• 4263
You want her away from Billy, and you want her now.
— it
• 1952
The hall isn’t narrow, but it feels like it because of the low hanging ceiling, its dark wood a monogamous extension of the sturdy walls, and the three armored bodies surrounding you.
— seamless (?)
• 1971
You stare back, at a lost for words, when suddenly, she smiles broadly and winks.
— loss
• 1971, 1981, 2006, 2018
At your front, the Knight-Commander ignores you completely as he rounds a corner and steps into a long, slender room.
— ‘Ahead of you’ or ‘In front of you’
• 2034
You’re in the guards-barracks, an ugly, square-shaped building pressed against the basalt-wall as if hastily build.
— built
• 2127
His smile drops. Hadrian stares at you with widen eyes, as his mouth opens and closes several times. “I- I,” he stammers.
— ‘widened eyes’ or ‘wide eyes’
• 2129
Alessa sighs loudly, her face exhausted as she narrows your eyes at you.
— her
• 2129
Must you redeem him useless now?
— Not sure what ‘redeem’ means here. Maybe ‘render’?
redeem him → redimí-lo
render him → torná-lo
• 2590
“Thank you, Hadrian,” you coo, our voice dropping at his name and you bite your bottom lip as an exciting thrill rushes through you.
— your
• 3238, 3472, 3679, 3777
“If you are asking if it is located where wealth is aplenty,” she says matter of flatly, voice methodical and chin raised high.
— matter-of-factly
• 4025
You impassively look away, putting the sigh out of our mind.
— sight
• 4025
Like what kind of beer does Alessa’s fancy inn might have.
— ‘… beer does Alessa’s fancy inn have’ (no ‘might’) or ‘…beer Alessa’s fancy inn might have’ (no ‘does’)
• 3096, 3146, 3171
arbor
— ‘arbor’ is the American spelling, ‘arbour’ is the British one. Since you’ve been using British spelling I thought to point that out.
• 3328
You feel how he holds in his breath, and try not to take it personally as you simply disentangle your fingers from his hand, regret bittering the back of your throat.
— Technically, you feel the taste of something in your mouth, not in your throat. Also, ‘bittering’ is not wrong, but sounds off somehow. Maybe ‘regret leaving a bad/bitter taste on the back of your mouth’ would read better? But these are stylistic choices, so obviously it’s up to you — I just wanted to let you know I felt the wording was awkward.
• 3340
Elly slows down and ahead, Alessa halts Kroner in his step.
— tread/way/stepping/trudging/striding
• 3344
Hadrian’s fingers are firmly holding yours, his callouses rough but pleasant on your skin, as a stable hand rushes to you, his red hair sticking out of a black cap too small for his head.
— Suggestion: ‘stablehand’, ‘stable-hand’, ‘stableman’ or ‘stable-boy’. The wording was confusing to me since in the same sentence we read about Hadrian’s calloused fingers. I thought that the ‘stable hand’ was literally Hadrian’s hand that was stable instead of a stable worker. It took me a couple reads to figure it out. 
• 3382
As you jump down, Hadrian other hand grabs you swiftly by the waist, large palm gripping your hip bone, and you seize the opportunity to heavily lean against him.
— Hadrian’s
• 4200
My old folks. God rest their souls. Named me Sarah Guller.
— My old folks, God rest their souls, named me Sarah Guller.
• 4281
“Here,” you say, the shrivel carrot loose in your fingers.
— shriveled
• 4333
As you find your way back to the courtyard, is to a frowning Alessa and a grim Hadrian, standing slightly aside with his arms firmly crossed.
— The subject is missing. Also, the sentence feels awkward because it looks like a subordinate clause without the main clause. Maybe this would sound better:
‘As you find your way back to the courtyard, you bump into a frowning Alessa and a grim Hadrian’, or
‘As you find your way back to the courtyard, it is to a frowning Alessa and a grim Hadrian — standing slightly aside with his arms firmly crossed — that you find yourself facing.’
• 4427
#You smirk at the little funny man.
— ‘funny little man’. According to English adjective order, ‘funny’ (quality) should come before ‘little’ (size).
• 4620
"“One could say I would enjoy it thoughtfully.”
— There are duplicated quotation marks at the beginning of the sentence.
• 4868
If only you could just sink its mellowness.
— If only you could just sink into its mellowness.
• 4913
Is all the warning you get as it opens for two women to step inside.
— It’s
• 5520
The fabric around it it’s torn in several places, and whichever color it used to be, it’s now too washed out to know.
— is
• 5538
The first few words had been indestructible, the paint too far gone.
— ‘inscrutable’, ‘incomprehensible’ or ‘indescribable’ (?)
• 5613
In a few long strides, you’re taking your daggers and storing them in the hidden pockets of your belt, it’s light sharp shape a comfortable pressure against your waist.
— their
• 5815
Not even to the Hadrian himself.
— ‘Not even to Hadrian himself.’
• 5978
“But if all we have is the now?”
— “But what if all we have is the now?”
• 6227
“If I say I he was, will you stand to defend my honor?”
— ‘If I say he was, …’ or (?) ‘If I say aye, he was, …’
• 7791
“Breaking in, cheat. He filled many a coin purses.”
— cheating
— ‘He filled many a purse (with coins)’ or ‘He filled many coin purses’
• 52
Father God, blyssed thou be.
— ‘blessed’ or ‘blest’ (for an old-fashioned way). Also, consider reversing the word order: ‘blest be thou’.
• 436
As if he wasn’t even a thread.
— threat
• 410, 443
And for some reason, he can’t take his eyes off it.
— off of it
• 195
Vaughn watches impassively as you bring it to your mouth and take a bit.
— bite
• 310
“How’s the draught situation?” you ask Vaughn, your eyes still following the struggling maid.
— drought
• 425
Vaughn suddenly looks as if a horse has just shat on his bed.
— had
• 478, 1154
arbor
— arbour
• 478
Whether Tarragona has become, it was a Church state now.
— Whatever
• 490, 510, 520
So little loyalty, You wonder if everyone else feels the same about their previous Duke.
— you
• 897, 908, 936
She scoffs and a bit of spit projects out of the hole in her front teeth, falling on her shirt.
— ‘projects out through the hole of her missing teeth’, otherwise the teeth are there but with a hole in them.
• 1182
What has you there, underfed and reeking," you point your chin at her, and she gasps.
— have
• 1477
Wide and childishly and displaying the enormous hole in her teeth.
— ‘hole of her missing teeth’
• 1450
“Is there underground in Tarragona?”
— “Is there an underground in Tarragona?”
• 1452
"There’s those who don’t like the law everywhere, eh? Why do ya think Tarragona would be different?
— There are
• 1707
“The ones like you tend ta draw eyes.”
— to
• 1760
You pause and look at her but she is still talking with herself, her head down.
— to
• 1838
And right now, it is palling.
— paling
• 1846
She nods back, and a small smile ghosts by her lips.
— ghosts her lips
• 3298, 3311, 3326, 3340
I own you an apology, stranger.
— owe
• 3415
But even so, even though the fear, she narrows her eyes and says in the loudest voice a tight throat allows:
— ‘with’ or ‘through’
• 51
A gold vest, one that leaves is tanned arms uncovered, but with a high collar that frames his neck in white silken fabric.
— his
• 805
The way is not paved in as so much as it is… fused.
— ‘as so much as’ (no ‘in’)
• 847
Your skin heats but doesn’t burn although now that you see it closer, you are sure the rock was certainly melted.
— burn, even though
• 873
She is older, her severely tighten hair bathed in silver, but she tries to cancel it best she can with a heavy layer of paint on her face.
— conceal
• 879
“It is, dear,” the man speaks fatly.
— flatly
• 953
#You get up slowly, movements controlled. And then wordlessly put your hand on your ${Weapon}, stating them down.
— staring
• 1004
#You square your shoulders and burst past bickering couple.
— past the bickering
• 1590
But still, as it slowly dawns on you that the threat is over and you aren’t a disgusting puddle of flesh on the ground, you focus instead on the man who’s face shakes in fury at you.
— are not (suggestion: do not contract here)
— whose
• 1652
He processes to make a new series of flustered, chocking sounds but you find yourself frozen to the spot.
— proceeds
• 1767
He’s smiling wide, his whole teeth in perfect display and you notice the dimple on his lift cheek.
— left
• 1880, 2986
It was said with a grin a twinkle of the eyes.
— a grin and a twinkle
• 2348, 2356, 2396, 2404, 2426, 2435, 2441
You know the father is waiting, Alain. Can you imagine the dreadful scowl that is sure to be growing at this very instant?"
— that
• 3826
As you watch the driver literally cower before Alain’s wraith, you sigh internally as you ready your tongue.
— wrath
• 3919
Made of you, the carriage, and the two young nobles.
— Made up of
• 4076
The very own Duke’s family.
— The Duke’s very own family. (Focus on the family, or…)
— The family of the Duke himself. (Focus on the Duke)
• 37
And even you pause when your ${mc_eyes} eyes fall upon what can only be considered a stationary explosion of sights and colors and, most of all, people.
— I’m not sure what ‘stationary explosion’ is meant here. Maybe ‘conflation’ or ‘amalgam’, but I really could not guess.
• 90
Your eyes close as your lips shape the words of prayer.
— of a prayer
• 194
The old crone behind the counter not glancing up as she busies mending some ugly shirt.
— ‘busies herself’ or ‘she is busy’
— ‘some ugly shirts’ (plural) or ‘an ugly shirt’
• 202
Standing shoulder with shoulder with strangers, your head turning left and right as from all around, new sounds, a new person, a new smell demands your attention.
— to
— demand
• 234
Fish that has been out in the sun.
— This construction (Present Perfect) means that the fish was out in the sun, but isn’t anymore. I believe that what you meant was to use the Present Perfect Progressive, an action that started in the past and continues into the present, therefore: ‘Fish that has been sitting/lying out in the sun.’ However, you could very well have meant that the fish were exposed to the sun but are now under the cover of tents, though it would be reading too much from a passing sentence. 
• 263
The woman puts her meaty hands on her tick waist and glares at you with the fury of a thousand sea storms.
— thick
• 1284
Can’t say I minded, I can.
— can’t (based on the fact that the character seems to always repeat the verb exactly the way it came before)
• 1349
Does his little wife all the favors she wants,” she shakes her hear empathically.
— head
• 1575
Smells, sounds, and sights all mix together in a cacophony of sensation that it’s relentless in its assault on you.
— is
• 1575
Like an endless tide against a sand-built castle, you find yourself wielding before Tarragona’s very heart.
— yielding
• 1729
The decision comes to you like a mandate of God Himself.
— from
• 1861
Alessa keeps staring ahead, and as close as you get, the clearer you see that you were mistaken.
— and the closer you get
• 2254
Just just as you wonder if perhaps you have done something wrong, Alessa reaches and takes the small bowl and spoon in hand.
— Words are duplicated.
• 2254
She brings it to wordlessly to her chest, slightly cradling it.
— She wordlessly brings it to her chest
• 2398
You sigh dramatically, and Alessa shots you a questioning look over her shoulder.
— shoots
• 2804
“You say so as if it is simple,” she whispers quietly, her voice almost fading against the buzz from the crow below.
— crowd
• 4471
Your smirk with one sharp corner of your mouth, but your eyes are hard as you take her in.
— You
• 5299
You would take the pain the betrayal over the one of loneliness every time.
— pain of the
• 6375
So with a casual swagger, you unhurriedly across the roof and jump onto the stairs.
— cross
• 6448
Grin sharping at her frown.
— sharpening
• 6756
“He is Good, in all His Generosity. Guiding me by His divine hand, his loyal servant,”
— His
• 6825
A dark weight settles on your shoulders, slowly crawling own your body, prickling the skin of your neck.
— on
• 6960, 6979
Slowly, you walk forward, people parting at your front as you make your way to the dais.
— ‘in front of you’ or ‘ahead of you’
• 7131
You hide the scowl that wants to twits your face and lean forward, hitting both your elbows on the table with a loud bang.
— twist
• 7675
Your flip your palms, his nails tearing your skin and now it’s your turn to grab him.
— You
• In lines 8115 and 8123, I believe it should be ‘*set Brutal %**+**5’
• 8458
His hands are filled with callouses.
— hand is (based on the fact you are holding only one of the hands)
• 1054
Its light falls like a sparkling waterfall to the biggest, most grand chantry your eyes have ever befallen into.
— ‘befallen onto’ or ‘beheld’
• 1074
“Father thou in Heaven,” falls from your lips.
— ‘who art’ or ‘Father, thou art…’
• 1838
He breaths in, and finally looks at you.
— breathes
• 1940
A hooded figure kneels by the candles, their husked whispers seeming to spill from never ending lips.
— never-ending
• 2325
“I don’t agree with it too.”
— either
• 2440
They roam over your skin tentatively, with butterfly touches. Hadrian stares at your joined hands with eyes of disbelieve, but he keeps stealing quick glances at your face.
— disbelief
• 3064
It’s just a few black sheep that soil the group.
— soils
• 3084
The cross’s current is thick and encrusted with jewelry of all the colors of the rainbow.
— chain
• 1894, 1897, 1912, 1915, 1928, 1931
“There is a sermon,” Hadrian’s chin jerks to the second story, where the organ still plays its neverending melody.
— never-ending
• 4631
“Is try to speak with the delegation priest. If…” Hadrian coughs.
— Is to try to speak…
• 4891
It seems deserved, and you cannot hope for a better entry.
— deserted (?)
• 5268
Blood rushes by your eardrums, distorting sound.
— to/against
— ‘distorting the sounds’ or ‘distorting any sounds’
• 5339
By now, even if this is area isn’t completely restricted, your hidden presence is incriminating enough.
— if this area…
• 5398
Looking at the younger priest, you’re quite familiar with his robes’ design
— Missing a period at the end.
• 5834, 587
#“Why I am known by *devilishly handsome,” you wink. “But you may call me ${Name}.”
— There’s a comma missing after ‘why’ and a stray ‘*’ before ‘devilishly’
• 5875
Then, you’re being pulled through the door which he barges open with his skinny shoulder to a large, concaved hall.
— concave
• 5879
A idyllic garden takes shape in soft pinks and greens, where the sun shines in a way it would never on earth.
— An
• 6022
“Why are so conflicted?”
— “Why are you so conflicted?”
• 6083
For if I’ve learned nothing, is how efficient my Holy Order is in extinguishing them.
— anything
• 6132
You know a warning when you hear one, and this one isn’t even unsoundly.
— unsound
• 6252
When you pass the threshold, is to the central chamber.
— it is
Suggestion: ‘…, you come into the central chamber.’
• 6264
Your eyebrows shoot up as your eyes feats on the sight below you.
— feast
• 6279
Dozens, if not more, hovering above the populace like a white cloud over scorch earth.
— scorched
• 6421
Now you’re just bashing on the glory.
— basking
• 6712
“Bath!” the priest lets go of you and turns away sharply.
— Bah
• 6899
Father Brown’s gnarled scowl deeps to a scowl.
— deepens
— frown (?)
• 180
Your brows furrow as you turn your chin left and right. But there is no one ins sight.
— in
• 746
The field you stand on it made of light dirt, the kind that winds easily picks up and scatters everywhere.
— is
• 1349
And then it makes light.
— sense (?)
• 1584
When you turn back to the stranger, you see one of her hands has disappeared inside her robe, her face intent as studies the passage.
— as she studies
• 1630
“You’ be safer kneeling before the executor’s block, intruder,” she smiles then.
— You’d
• 1752
This prof, if you know where to look, that the Holy Church lies.
— ‘This is proof’ or ‘This proves’
• 2069
“I’m just doing my job. Earning my keep. I don’t know what “us” is, and I could not give a rat’s ass either. I’m not similar to you. I’m not similar to anyone but myself.”
— ‘us’ (use single quotations marks)
• 2345
“The ministry building?” you prompt her as gently as you can. You feel as if you’re dealing with a caged beat.
— beast
• 2844
Even still, you know you may be overreaching your welcome.
— ‘overreaching.’ or ‘overstaying your welcome.’
• 2872
#You stare at her. “Are you finished?” you ask fatly.
— flatly
• 2859
“Oh, don’t forget the magical swords too,” you sing-song, but she ceases laughing at the edge of your voice.
— at the edginess in your voice
• 3100
You try not to show your excitement as you force your face to remain as impassible as possible.
— impassive
• 3276, 3294, 3302, 3304, 3320
“Nierou?” the woman speaks, the sound coming slightly off, accent wrong.
— This is only a suggestion, but the grapheme ‘ou’ does not easily make the sound /əʊ/ in English as it does in Portuguese, rather it produces an ‘oo’ sound (pt: ú, IPA: /u/) as in ‘you’, an open ‘ó’ (IPA: /ɒ/) as in ‘ought’ or an /aʊ/ as in ‘out’. So I think either ‘oe’ (as in doe/foe/joe) or ‘ow’ (as in crow/blow/grow/know) would be a more intuitive transliteration: Neeroe, Nierow. However, you can find ‘ou’ as /əʊ/ in dough/plough/though, but notice how they are always marked together with ‘gh’ at the end. But since the story is happening in the Iberian Peninsula, most precisely at Tarragona, Spain, I suppose the characters (in-world) would be speaking in Spanish, Portuguese or some earlier Galician dialect, which would account for the alternative transliteration. It’s a bit of a stretch, though, and, I suspect, too complicated for the average reader. Wow, I just kept blathering on, sorry! Never mind me!
• 3327
“I know this may come as quite the shock, my dear,” you chuckle, leaning your hip casually back on the wall.
— hips
• 2758
You lean one foot on the wall. “When I’ve entered Tarragona,” you begin casually. “I’ve spotted Templar ships by the arbor.”
— When I entered Tarragona, I spotted Templar ships by the arbor. (Simple Past instead of Present Perfect)
• 2758, 3617, 3623, 3826, 3827
arbor
— arbour
• 3738
“Them and dozes of other nobles, vying for their attention,” she glances at you.
— dozens
• Titles in the Stats page do not revert colour in dark mode. (Sorry for being such a pest.)
• The weapon’s type is saved capitalized. It means that ‘sword’ or ‘dagger’ and whatnot always looks like a proper name in the text.
No, there won’t be harems in my game.
Ah, thank you! I’m currently doing some edits on the previous chapters so these will come in handy!
Hello @Anathema , i just wanted to say that your work is awesome. Character interactions and events are interesting. I wish all the best for you. Keep up the good work and stay safe.
When it asks if you hold the torch in the left or the right hand, is the hand you hold the torch with your dominant hand? This is what I thought but when I looked at character description it said that I had a fingerless gloves on the hand opposite to what I chose. Is it super obvious and I’m just not getting it?
Yeah it is
The torch hand is the dominant one, the glove hand is always the opposite of that. 
Both previous comments are correct, this threw me off once as well, because irl I would hold the torch in my off hand to keep my dominant hand open for fighting in case I ran into something or someone. Didn’t really bother me though since irl I’m honestly more ambidextrous that right handed.
