The Golden-Eyed Raven WIP - UPDATED (Public 89K, Patreon 120K) (Mystery, Steampunk, Comedy, Sci-fi, Puzzle)

[Susubachee]

You wake up one day in a dingy alleyway, with no memory of your past, only to find out that you have a bounty on your head?!

Play as Ashenwing’s most notorious criminal, known as “The Golden-Eyed Raven”. As it turns out, your past criminal activities was that of a phantom thief, robbing Ashenwing’s elitist of their priceless possession. Little does the public know that you’ve been stealing the “Hermit’s Treasure”, a mysterious devices rumored to fulfill human needs. As to why you needed to steal those treasures in the first place, is a question only your buried memories can answer. Hunted by the law and chased by those lured by your bounty, will you be able to unravel your past and the mysteries entwined with it?

What’s new?

January 2026

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!

Sorry for the long wait. I was planning to update the rest of chapter 1 in one go, but it turned out to be longer than expected (almost reaching 70K in total), so I decided to divide it into parts.

For public demo, the game is updated to chapter1-B (20K+), as for patreon demo, it’s updated to chapter 1-C part 1 (28K+). Chapter 1-B will have some light puzzle while the main puzzle will be in 1-C. Please give me some feedback if you find some bugs, difficulties, or anything off during the puzzle sections.

And as I’ve mentioned before (that chapter 1-C is available in patreon), that means my patreon is officially here now! And the tumblr is up too! Check the link section if you’re interested!

I hope you enjoy the update! Let’s hope 2026 will be the best year for all of us!

November 2025

Chapter 1-A is here! (around 30K+ words) In this chapter, you’ll:

• Have breakfast
• Investigate your past heists
• Meet the mysterious merchant
• Have lunch
• Find one of the Hermit’s Treasure

Some mistakes and typos in the prologue are fixed.
For those who don’t want to play with in-game images, there a new toggle to turn them on/off now.

Added new variables in the prologue so I suggest playing the game from the beginning to avoid bugs.
Also, you can see how Ezell look in the character’s section now. See him if you’re interested!

I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

Introduction

Hello, I’m Susubachee. I’m a long time lurker here and finally decided to make an IF of my own. I’m more experienced in making comic/webtoon than writing actually (although that experience is also very little), and this is my attempt to write again after years away from storytelling (like, last time I wrote was around middle-high school, which was more than 10 years ago lol). Still, I always love creating stories in my mind, and I think using IF may be the best way to show them to other people.

The story will have in game illustrations every now and then (well, because I love to draw). For some people those might break their immersion, so I’m considering adding a toggle to turn those on or off. Some of them will need stay for puzzle solving, though.

There will be early access through my Patreon later on down the road. You can check it later if you’re interested.

Feature

• Play as a man or a woman.
• Continue your criminal activities, which is stealing the Hermit’s Treasure, while trying not to get caught.
• Solve puzzles that gets in your way.
• Redefine your personality, and rediscover your abilities.
• Befriend or romance four ROs (and probably two more secret ROs??).
• Explore the kingdom of Ashenwing and unravel its mysteries.
• Uncover your past and reclaim your own life

Setting

• Kingdom of Ashenwing :

  The story is set in a steampunk, industrial kingdom called Ashenwing. It’s known to have advance machinery and devices, but also notorious for its thick foggy sky, giving rise to the phrase : “There’s no bird in Ashenwing”. Ruled by a monarch, its citizen is divided into three class, the nobles, the middle class, and the lower class. The Kingdom runs on an steam-based energy drawn from the CORE, a device created by ARISE which now served as its primary power source. People speculate the CORE is the main reason behind the kingdom’s ever-cloudy sky and the disappearance of its birdlife.

• ARISE :

  Ashenwing Research Institution of Science and Engineering, or ARISE for short, is the most prestigious national institution in Ashenwing, serving as the backbone of the kingdom’s industrial development. It’s said that becoming researcher at ARISE is considered a great honor, but with its challenging entry, high workload, and fierce competition, life within the institution is far from easy. Many of Ashenwing’s greatest innovation were created by ARISE, such as the CORE (the kingdom’s primary energy source), Mechanism (mechanical organism), and many more, all which have become part of the kingdom’s daily life.

• The Hermit’s Treasure:

  Around a year ago, rumor began circulating that ARISE had created devices said to fulfill human needs, called the “Hermit’s Treasure”. However, with ARISE’s lack of confirmation, the public dismissed this rumor as a mere hearsay. The rumor turns out to be true though, since you’ve been stealing those treasures from nobles. It’s unknown if ARISE truly created those devices, or why the nobles have them in the first place and hide them from the public, but you and the treasure seems to be more connected than you thought.

Characters

• The Golden-Eyed Raven

  The main character and the player. They woke up with no memories only to find their face etched on a bounty poster. With a staggering one million Gilders reward on their head, the Golden-Eyed Raven have become the most wanted criminal in Ashenwing. It was through a mysterious letter that they discovered they had been stealing the Hermit’s Treasure from nobles. Still, with them unable to recall their past, it’s impossible to know whether the letter speaks the truth or not.

• Aeren

  Gender : Male

  Height : 183 cm (6’0”)

  A cocky and sarcastic mechanic who tried to turn you in for a quick buck, only to fumble it so badly, he ended up helping you instead. Aeren tends to be reckless and impulsive, yet so easily frustrated when things doesn’t go according to his half-assed plan. Despite his snarky attitude, he hides a gentle and protective side that reveals itself only to the people he trusted. Might seem harsh and stubborn at first glance, but surprisingly quick to give in, especially when John nags at him. He reluctantly chose to help you recover your memories after receiving a mysterious letter that promise him a reward each time you steal a Hermit’s Treasure.

  Appearance

  Dark brown skin, shoulder length brownish black wavy hair tied in a ponytail, green eyes, piercings on ears, left eyebrow, and lower lip, mole on the right side of his neck. He usually wear an opened, olive-colored coverall over yellow tank top, pocket belt, knee length boots. His whole left arm is fully prosthetic.

  

• John

  Gender : Male

  Height : 148 cm (4’8”)

  Aeren’s roommate who’s according to the man, has been freeloading in his place for months. A good and honest kid who loves to see the good things in everyone. He acts more mature for a kid his age, even more reliable than Aeren sometimes. John is also smart and knowledgeable, far from what you’d expect from an average kid next door. He tends to overly cover himself, often seen wearing a mask, cap, and hoodie at the same time. The reason for this remains a mystery to you. Feeling indebted for your attempt in saving him, John decided to aid you in uncovering the truth behind your forgotten past.

  Appearance

  Tanned skin, chin length, unruly brown hair. Usually seen wearing cream colored shirt under dark blue hoodie, blue cap, brown short, and boots. Also wears a navy hand sock on right arm and a single leg tights on left leg for some unknown reason.

  

• Xuling Lin

  Gender : Female

  Height : 170 cm (5’5”)

  A totally-not-suspicious travelling merchant from Yulan Kingdom who sells herbal medicine in Ashenwing. A self-proclaimed number one simp fan of the Golden-Eyed Raven, she volunteers to lend you her hand in stealing the Hermit’s Treasure. She’s often seen with a smile most of the time and loves to speak with words that hovers between serious humor or playful truth, which makes it hard to tell what she’s really thinking. Despite calling herself as “nothing but a humble merchant”, she seems to know about the Hermit’s Treasure more than Ashenwing’s own citizen, making you question the real motive behind her help.

  Appearance

  Fair, slightly olive skin, long red hair tied in a bun with some loose strands, slanted red eyes, beauty mark near the right side of her lower lip. She wears her hometown’s traditional clothing which consist of dark, brown-almost black sleeveless dress and one-sided white robe with flowers pattern tied with orange ribbon sash on her waist. Has red, flowery-vines tattoos on her right upper arm and left legs, and small flower tattoo on the right side of her back.

  

• Ezell

  Gender : Male

  Height : 187 cm (6’1”)

  A bounty hunter who goes by the alias “Railclaw”. Known as one of the greatest bounty hunter in Ashenwing, Ezell dedicated his time and effort in hunting you down. It seems that his motivation stems from something personal rather than professional duty. He comes across as cold, ruthless, and violent, with gaze so menacing, enough to make others tremble. But who knows, maybe that’s a side he reserves only for those he considers enemies. Just what exactly did you do in the past to earn you such animosity from him?

  Appearance

  Fair-pale skin, long white hair with brown tips, sharp orange-colored eyes. Usually wears brown, wide brimmed hat, a long, dark brown coat with fur collar draped over a khaki colored shirt, black chest harness, tactical belt, brown pants and knee length boots.

  

• ???

  Gender : Selectable (M/F)

  Height : Male (175 cm / 5’7”), Female (160 cm / 5’2”)

  A person who appears every now and then in your dreams or when pieces of your memory return. You can’t remember who they are, but their presence evokes a deep sense of comfort within you. They’re warm and gentle, a bit playful at times, but has a tendency to become neurotic, especially when they overthink. Seems to have a very close connection to the Hermit’s Treasure.

  Appearance

  Sorry, no appearance for now!

• Mysterious letter

  A mysterious letter which appeared in Aeren’s place from who knows where or when. What’s written suggest that the sender knows something about you more than most, especially about your criminal history involving the Hermit’s Treasure. They offer Aeren and John a deal : assist you in stealing the treasures, and they’ll be rewarded 200k Gilders for every piece taken. According to the letter, there are five more Hermit’s Treasure left to steal. It’s unknown if the sender is someone tied to your past, or just simply exploiting your condition to claim the treasure for themselves. Will you trust the letter’s words blindly, or treat its offer with caution?

Feedback

• Since I’m not native and pretty much an amateur, there might be lots and lots of incorrect grammar, typos, and clunky words. So any feedback regarding those will be very helpful.

• The pacing, is it too slow or too fast?

• Too much yapping? Or maybe too much exposition? Is the plot too convoluted?

• How the MC reacts, especially when you think your MC is acting out of character.

• Coding errors.

• Anything that makes you go, “huh?” or, “what the heck did I just read?”.

Link

• DEMO
• PATREON
• TUMBLR

AI Disclosure:

No — This project does not contain the output of Generative AI

I guess that’s all for now. I hope you enjoy the story. If you have any thoughts, ideas, or suggestion, please feel free to share them.

[Telrock]

Wow! I’ve got to say, I love the world building and humor you put into this so far! I did notice some grammer mistakes here and there, but for the most part looking good! Love the blushy “pervert” responses you can do: Aeren is so cute!! Definitely keep it up, looking forward to more!

[Susubachee]

Aaaa, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’ll try to fix things and write better in the future!

[ChanceOfFire]

You’re a pretty good artist.

When being told to choose your gender, the game seems to assume that you know that the golden raven is yourself. However, the player character doesn’t know this yet, and the player also wouldn’t know unless they have read the game description.

I think a policeman uses a walkie talkie in one scene, how does that work in a steampunk world?

The mysterious person should throw in a bonus payment if you recover all five treasures.

What sort of puzzles are you planning to have? Putting puzzles in a choicescript game can be pretty hit and miss.

Good luck.

[quinavalmont]

Can you link the discussion button into this thread instead of your email?

Anywho it’s a fun prologue it caught me hook line and sinker and im excited to see your future updates. The in-game art is also nice and A is so handsome in my eyes.

[Susubachee]

You’re a pretty good artist.

Aaa, thank you!

When being told to choose your gender, the game seems to assume that you know that the golden raven is yourself. However, the player character doesn’t know this yet, and the player also wouldn’t know unless they have read the game description.

Yes, I did find some difficulty in this part as well. I wanted to retain an element of surprise
but also give some clue to the player that they’re creating their character, that’s why I
put the “you have a bounty” summary in the game description instead of telling it straight during the
character creation part. But yes, maybe I should add more context in that part so that players who didn’t read the description can still realize they’re making their own character.

I think a policeman uses a walkie talkie in one scene, how does that work in a steampunk world?

In Ashenwing, the steam kind of act more like a carrier for energy instead of an energy source, so the steam pipes function similarly like electrical wires (I’ll add more explanation about it in the post, but I still can’t edit it currently). That’s why I thought walkie talkie might work, but yeah, I should change their name to suit steampunk settings more like steam transceiver or something like that.

The mysterious person should throw in a bonus payment if you recover all five treasures.

1 million gilders should be considered high enough in Ashenwing, but that’s a good advice. I’ll definitely consider adding it in.

What sort of puzzles are you planning to have? Putting puzzles in a choicescript game can be pretty hit and miss.

As for the puzzle, I’m planning to use in game art to show some hidden messages or clues, and also some items that you can find during exploration (which you can use or will appear in the inventory to give some hints). I’m also thinking of using gif picture as well, but it’s quite a lot of work, so maybe I’ll add it later down the road. There is indeed limitation in making puzzle in choicescript, but I hope it I can make it challenging enough.

Good luck.

Thank you!

[Susubachee]

Thank you for playing my WIP!

Yeah, I updated the discussion link just now. I published the demo before I post it in this forum, so I forgot to update the link sorry.

[BlueShayde]

Love it. Though my MC and Aeren are butting heads like a true rival romance. Can cut this stubborn and bitter attraction with a knife. But seriously, ouch for my MC finding out they want to turn him in. He’s gonna be bitter about that for a while.

The world building is nice and I’m loving the humor. Looking forward to more.

[Susubachee]

Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

[Suzuno_TheNekoGirl]

Aaaaaah I need more !

[Knoez]

@Susubachee hmm…your nickname tho

susu bachee (basi) - spoiled milk

Well jokes aside I really love the humor and absolutely can’t wait to see more of this, bookmarked!

[Susubachee]

Next chapter should be out around next month, so stay tuned!

[Susubachee]

Thank you!

@Knoez

hmm…your nickname tho

susu bachee (basi) - spoiled milk

Yes, a very cute nickname isn’t it?

[Suzuno_TheNekoGirl]

Oooooh I can’t wait !! It’s really good !!

[Knoez]

I mean it kinda neat tho, I love word play so yours are approve

[YungSanguis]

Thank you for writing, good start to the WIP imo.

When would you say we’ll meet ??? and are they an RO?
(Btw you double pasted Xuling Lin in the Characters section.)

[Susubachee]

If everything goes well, ??? should appear near the end of chapter 3. They’d also appear in each chapter, although only when the MC trigger their memories, similar to the dream sequence in the prologue.

@YungSanguis

Btw you double pasted Xuling Lin in the Characters section.

Yeah, I tried to edit it, but couldn’t because the post has images in it and my TL is still low. Just ignore it for now

[Ahnyks]

She’s simply so nice she appears twice!

[Trazen4]

Choices feel a bit…too nice and sometimes as if we’re a bit childish.

[Susubachee]

Kind of forgot unfriendly choices exist (the option to play along and escape also added last minute ), might need to add more of those. As for the childish option, those are aimed for player who wants to play as playful mc (i intended it to be unhinged than childish tho). the story itself isn’t going to be heavy, more like lighthearted mystery where you can have fun most of the time (with serious moment every now and then).