The Golden-Eyed Raven WIP - UPDATED (Public 89K, Patreon 120K) (Mystery, Steampunk, Comedy, Sci-fi, Puzzle)

Fun read! Laughed a couple of times and the art is really good.

Noticed one place where I think it’s a gender inconsistency. Think She and him are both used to refer to Raven.

Summary

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Yeah, I noticed that with my male MC. But was the only gender inconsistency I noticed. Impressive.

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Oops, that’s right. Thanks for pointing it out! Will edit it soon enough

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I edited and re-read the prologue a lot. Thank god there’s only one inconsistency :sweat_smile:

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Named myself Raven, because I’m sooooo creative~

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Named myself Corbin (ravin in other language) cause I‘m only slightly more creative… :winking_face_with_tongue:

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Hello, I just found your WIP and it seems very interesting just from reading the premise of the story (I haven’t read it yet). There seems to be some mentions about 2 secret ROs, can you tell me something about them, if it’s not too spoilery? Also I noticed that there are only 5 characters listed instead of 6 (I assume that’s including the aforementioned 2 secret ROs, not counting the doubled character info), or did I misunderstand something?

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ahhh I love this already!!

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The 2 secret ROs haven’t been added to the post yet. Actually, the reason they’re secret is because I’m still debating if I should add them as ROs or not (I’m leaning more towards them becoming one, but it’ll depend on how much work it will be.) For now, the confirmed ROs are Aeren, Xuling, Ezell, and ???

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Great start! I feel like this IF takes on more of a humorous approach which isn’t a bad thing, but it would be nice to have more “serious” or stoic choices if you want to cater to more people. In any case, the characters are interesting – I especially enjoy the dynamics between Aeren and John (and now MC), and I’m curious to learn more about MC’s predicament. Love the art too!

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Got it, thank you for the clarification. I was a bit confused looking at the list of characters and trying to figure out who are the ROs (probably, it’s because I was trying to stay awake at that time)

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I’m going to echo what’s already been said about the tone being very lighthearted and silly so far, I couldn’t stick with it to the end of the prologue even. It’s not my cup of tea, but if that’s your preferred story style there’s nothing wrong with it- I’d just want more serious or at least neutral options.

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I actually like how lighthearted it is. It’s like a breath of fresh air when everything has been too heavy. Great job.

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Yeah, I’ve been adding more of serious and neutral options lately to balance thing out. I’m happy you enjoyed the trio dynamic!

I totally understand the tone isn’t for everyone. I’ve been adding more serious options lately, but the story will still leans more on the comedic/chaotic side (I think I might need to add “comedy” on the thread’s title). Thank you for your feedback!

Thank you so much! I’m glad you find it light and refreshing!

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Here’s a couple formatting tips that you probably didn’t get in the new user tutorial guide. Selecting some text on a post (even in mobile) highlights it, and populates a little button with “Quote” on it to quote someone for a direct reply, like the square copied from one of your previous comments.

Using the @ followed by a username allows you to tag them in your post, so you can reply to multiple people at once. Like this:

@Susubachee Hi there! :smile:

It’s one of the ways you can keep your reply count down, while answering as many people as you like, bar silly things like character limits, though those are hard to hit here.

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@AdmiralLynx89

ooh, noted! thank you for the tip!

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After reading a lot of serious wip, this one is my breather. Well I think @Susubachee, you definitely should add comedy on the title so no one complain about the lack of serious tone.

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We get tons of serious wips. I like the slight humor in this. It makes me feel like we’re in a British comedy or a Lupin anime episode. Loved how my rather friendly Corbin bumps right back into the rookie cop and they almost have a moment before the chase begins again. :rofl:

I already have plans for my Corbin to be high technique, mid stealth, no combat with a tendency to tease and troll. Not sure if I’ll end up going for Aeren or have to much fun teasing/flirting/and egging on our Bounty Hunter Ezell. :rofl::face_blowing_a_kiss:

Right now my Corbin wants to write on Aeren’s sleeping face with a permanent marker. A nice message…maybe “Tit Man” right on the forehead.

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