The Eyes of Westerhollow [WiP] - Prologue *(Sneaky Tumblr Update)

I’d say I was a little confused as well, especially the bit about my claw going into his arm. The MC hasn’t been defined at this point so I sort of just went with it, but it could probably be made clearer that we don’t have actual claws (unless we do, of course :sunglasses:).

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Would simply changing “claws” into “nails” alleviate the confusion somewhat? :no_mouth:

Here’s the updated verison of the scene:

Your knuckles lick the wind as he avoids your punch with an easy leap. His nimble steps circle around you with a predatory glee. His body hunches in anticipation, an invisible grin taints the air. You spin around in a wolfish haze, nose wrinkled and teeth clenched.

You pounce. He dodges. The hand rises, the knife sparks menacingly in the dark. You leap back and dig your nails into the flesh of his arm. It bends back, his body collides against a soggy trunk. Something cracks. A moment of triumph. Forceful limbs lash out in vengeance. You stumble backwards and spill into the mud.

His weight comes crushing hard down your lungs. A jagged breath leaves your chest. A hand holds you down by the collar. You press back as the blade approaches your throat, closer. Closer. A sharp tip punctures your skin. A small drop of blood joins the raindrops.

And then the knife twists back around, penetrating deep into his shoulder.


I’d say that definitely helps!

As an aside, fight scenes are probably my least favorite thing to write. I’ve found that I have to be very specific when describing who’s limb or body is being impacted by each action simply because while I may see it very clearly in my mind, the reader is depending on me to describe it for them. Which is really a Captain Obvious observation on my part, but I felt compelled to complain about writing fight scenes (again) :dizzy_face:


Heheh, yeah, fight scenes are tricky little bastards. Definitely isn’t one of my strengths either, as we have well established. But there’s always room for improvement.


One thing I noticed is, the second option decreases your stats. Being the first choice this could be somewhat discouraging for the player and may give the expression this choice is “wrong”.

Otherwise I really like the characters you introduced so far in your first post and the way to write is pretty good. (:

It might seem like that, but the second option actually gives a buff in some hidden stats in the game. I have tried to balance things out as much as possible, even if some choices may lead to some sort of soft fail state, the fail state might present new and interesting opportunitites you might have missed out on otherwise. I don’t want people to metagame my game, one of my main goals is to make each and every option equally interesting. Failures are underrated. :wink:


Okay I’m honest: Without you telling me this, I would never ever had picked option 2 again. Haha. It’s hard to let go of stats.

So happy to hear a writer actually come out and say it, you have no idea. I am now circling this WIP like an emotionally invested vulture. Carry on!

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To be clear, you are talking about the slight decrease in the cunning stat, right? That might actually be a positive, cunning isn’t necessarily a positive attribute to have. It entirely depends on what kind of MC you want to play, and even if there’s an initial decrease, there will be plenty of opportunites to raise it later. I’ll try to see if I can come up with a way to “soften the blow” for people who are used to very stat dependant games, but I don’t really know what…

Thank you!! Hearing that makes me really happy, and gives me lot’s of motivation to hurry up and write!


You don’t have to change anything. The only problem I see now is, that people like me will miss out a lot of fun. xD
Because my first reaction was: OMG you’re taking something away from me! I may not need it, but that doesn’t stop me from being irrationally attachted to it.

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Sorry I’m not quite sure I follow, what is it that you feel somehow deprived of? Do you prefer games that are more stat dependent in a classical win/loose kind of system? I’m trying to create an interesting experience for everyone. The stats definitely won’t be irrelevant, or they wouldn’t be there, but they will serve to alter the experience rather than heighten or weaken it. I hope I’m explaining this in a way that’s easy to understand. Let’s just say, the stat system will work a bit differently in my game. There are still multiple endings here that are entirely stat dependent, but the most impactful stats will be hidden.

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I confess I restarted the game when my answer made me cautious instead of bold. I tend to play the same style of MC over and over because a barreling maniac is always more fun in my opinion. But as @Schnitzel said, I don’t want you to change anything, it’s just a matter of taste. I’ll play my way first, and then I’ll try to relax and go with the flow xD

The ROs have me hooked and I want to read more :heart:

Will there be flavor text depending on our attributes?


Yeah I tend to do that too, because I can’t help being a stoic asshole whenever I get the chance. (This also extend into real life situations too, I’m afraid. :upside_down_face:)

The cautious stat isn’t exactly the opposite of bold though, that’s more closer to the assertive stat. But the whole stat page, as well as the stat effects from the choices are still subject to changes and lots of playtesting to see how it works. That’s one of those things that’s quite hard to foresee accurately.

Oh, don’t worry, the amount of flavor text I’ve planned is so large I will probably loose my mind before I’ll finish this goddamned thing. :upside_down_face:

I don’t want the personality attributes to only trigger after a relevant choice, but to imprint on the game like a memory, so out of character choices, or even personal character developments, will be remarked upon.

Also I realised that I kind of unintenionally stole the moniker for THA HUNTAH from your game, I hope you don’t mind, I really didn’t realise. I tried to come up with something else but nothing really worked. You probably don’t mind because you’re cooool, but I felt compelled to apologise anyway. :relaxed:


How dare you steal from me? I never steal from other authors here :wink:


Well, when my stats get decreased, the first impression I get is I did something wrong. Some games punish you for faillure by lowering your stats.
And don’t get me wrong, your idea and the way you’re describing it sounds amazing.


Ah yeah that’s fine, I understand it can be confusing when you are used to things working a certain way. I’m sorry I hope I didn’t come off as condescending or anything, I was just curious of how you meant it. :blush:

Nah, no offence taken. (:

On a side note: For me personally descriprive stats work the best. “You’re an honest person, who’s a total failure when it comes to lying.” Sounds better imo than: “-2% on cunning.”
I know a lot of people love their numbers but sometimes they tend to stress me out.


Oh that’s actually not a bad idea, I might introduce an option later to change the numerical stats into descriptive ones as I’ve seen a couple other WiPs do here. I totally get that preference.

Edit: I also want eventual stat check failures to reflect POSITIVELY on the stats. After all, we learn from our mistakes. I know that’s a bit unconventional, but hell, all conventions need to be shaken up once in a while.


The RO descriptions alone are really interesting and I’m all for the focus on character relationships! Looking forward to reading more!


And I’m looking forward to sharing more. :wink: