interesting plot !
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I’m so happy you enjoyed it, despite it not being your usual genre of game to play! Thanks for giving it a chance. In response to…
Your Favorites (Spoilers)
- I LOVE me some classes, so I definitely wanted to include that in this game! And have them be more than just a title or stat boost chosen once and then never mentioned again. Will continue to feature class things in future updates
- Glad to hear you liked the characters <3 I do tend to lean heavily into characters with my writing, and I want that to remain the main focus in this story. And what is a character without the world they inhabit/influence? The plan is to allow MC to see more of it as the books progress. I’m so happy you like the world!! It’s been a fun one to build and there are lots of things to discover about it. I have a tiny obsession with maps so the one featured currently is just one of many I plan to make for the world!
Errors & Suggestion (Spoilers)
- This Flex training will be the death of me, I swear
I tried to get way too complicated with it when I barely knew how to code and have been trying to clean it up/fix things ever since. Although I THINK (I hope) I’ll have it fixed by the end of today. After selecting Analyze you should see something like “It takes only a moment to scan…” OR “I scan ${august} for any weaknesses but…” - That’s a great point about the ranged weapons! I’ll be going back to add those little weapon blurbs in, along with a confirmation message before continuing to the scenario.
- It just felt weird to not include taste when I listed the other senses
but it also gave a chance to showcase how adept Vanguards can be in a situation - Breastily is tragically NOT a word
but it was an intentional silly goofy moment I wanted to include, glad it got some laughs! - working on the fix for that looping convo at the end with Evangeline, thanks for spotting it
I’m excited to share more of the world and characters with ya in the next update!
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Reminds me of certain critiques I’ve read about narration being obsessed with certain body parts, well done.
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Character-driven stories are my jam 
(looooove detroit become human!) Really glad you’re loving this one. I’m writing these characters so that everyone playing can have a favorite. Ahh Cap my precious guilt-ridden bean 
glad you’re enjoying the angst there (there’s more to come hehe)
- The combat training with A is a hot mess I’ve been trying to wrangle. I think I’ve ALMOST got it under control. That scene was me experimenting with how I’d handle combat in the game and boy did I figure out how I will NOT be handling combat. I’m working on some fixes that will hopefully make it not as abrupt and jumpy. Though admittedly, the choices are still limited for that one. I’ll be reworking how melee combat is handled for future scenes, as I’d like there to be more choice and fluidity as the fight unfolds.
- Great idea! You can now enable the map and see it throughout that conversation with Page!
- working on a fix for the reading/drawing pathing during down time
- Yes, you’ll learn more about Clarke’s animosity towards Vanguards and other soldiers from the labs in future scenes!
- Really good question about the role of Vanguards within the military. They, and several other lab projects, were very quickly pumped out and put into the field. Their role in general is to provide support for the soldiers. If they’re found to be a more powerful type of soldier, then that role may be elevated. If not, then they are at least another body fighting against the enemy. This idea will be explored and similar questions asked by characters as the story continues. But short answer: The war is a numbers game and the Ministry needs more soldiers, better soldiers, than the Order.
- No, classes won’t lock you out of a combat style! The build you mentions sounds dope!
- I’ll keep that in mind about the personality stats, and seeing about giving some more options for a middle ground route! In the initial writing stages, it’s easier for me to lean one extreme or the other and then go back in with more nuanced personality builds. One of the early concepts I had for the game was emotional = human, logical = machine. But quickly realized that there are many humans in the real world who are logical! So I am aware of that divide and will be working to blur the edges in my fine tuning editing rounds later on.
Thank you for bringing these up and for the feedback. Look forward to sharing more with you!
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thank you!
Exaaaaactly! Thanks!
Thank you for giving it a chance, I’m so glad you’re loving it!! Hearing how much these characters are loved makes my heart so happy.
Just finished working on that error so it should move forward now instead of looping!
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Nice work! Small thing but I noticed a number of errors pertaining to possessives / contractions - eg on the first page and first post here you have “it’s” when it should be “its.” Probably worth just doing a Ctrl+F search later.
Also just a heads up: your gen AI disclosure here is missing the check mark. Boxes are visible though.
Best wishes with the rest of the writing !
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Another tiny thing: at one point you say “upmost” when you mean “utmost.”
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Thank you for pointing these out!
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