Never too late for feedback, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts!
I think the Flex training fights got a bit too complicated which may be contributing to some of the comments you’ve made. I’ll be revisiting and simplifying it before the next update.
The Page scene has been addressed and fixed I’d put that generic reply as a place holder. Next update will have unique responses!
May 28, 2026 Update:
Hello and happy Summer! I’ve got an fresh update for ya with 2 new chapters (5 and 6). These chapters offer several branching scenes and more opportunities to grow with your squad. Thanks to the feedback and suggestions received in my initial release, I’ve made various changes throughout Chapters 1-4 as well.
Some changes you’ll see:
Class now helps with stat checks so passing isn’t reliant on skill alone (and vice versa)
Message pop if choosing an already establish character’s name
Cleaned up fight mechanics in Flex’s training and removed shield choice (hopefully fixed some continuity errors there as well)
Cleaned up code as I learned more efficient ways to make things work
Cleaned up all training chapters, changed the verbiage to how Page and other Archivists work
Inserted more flavor text
Page’s responses to how MC felt during the diagnostics mode are less generic
E.V. 012’s gender is now selectable
Here’s the word counts for each chapters! Since gaining a better understanding of how the coding side of things go, I have been able to explore more scene variations and flavor text.
startup (chap1): 4,939
chap2: 5,014
chap3: 3,057
chap4: 51,118
chap5: 79,489
chap6: 25,015
total as of today: 168,362
Next up:
Along with continuing the story, I plan to implement some fun side things like:
-Payment system
-Barber shop to change appearance during down time
-Hobby progression so that the skill level of your hobby reflects in the outcome (i.e a level 1 drawing will be simpler than a level 4 drawing)
At ease," Kyouji announces and steps further into the room as we settle back into our seats but keep our attention on him. In her hand is a bundle of brightly colored bandanas and a white flag.
Completed my first playthrough. This one is a bit out of genre of the games I usually play. So I went in blind not knowing what to expect (I didn’t read the whole update/demo post). Still it was quite interesting playthrough. I enjoyed it. Here’s my review.
My favourites (Spoiler)
The option to select classes. It just lights me up no matter whatever the genre of the game is. You even went a step further and had few options locked down for few classes. I really appreciate it. I hope you continue to do it in future updates too.
The whole diagnostic mode incident and it’s aftermath. The reaction of everyone. You even included oliver, which I didn’t quite expect. It was written well.
Also I appreciate giving the option to spend time with each character, got to know them more. I never would have guessed I would end up liking Theo more than any character. That being said, I liked the whole cast in general.
Giving characters hobbies is quite great idea. Made them feel not two dimensional.
This is probably my most favourite part. The world building. I didn’t have any expectation when I started the WIP. But it was a delightful surprise. This is one of the reason I liked theo. So much lore. Same goes with blood magic stuff. I hope to see more of them in future. Also appreciate the Map.
Finally I liked the training and exercise in general. It had lot of choices. Appreciate the freedom.
Finally the Captain report on us based on our stat and training. Well done.
Errors & Suggestion (Spoilers)
This one threw me off. When training with alex, if you choose analyse you immediately end up with kissing scene without any pretext. I think it is a goto choicescript error.
I wish you had given description for ranged weapons, similar to the way you did for melee weapon. So we can confirm our selection after knowing more.
When training with Evangeline, how does taste exactly help in fighting blindfold?
I had the most laughs with this one. When reading theo’s romance book it says “Breasts breasting breastily.” I don’t think breastily is a word (I may be wrong). Was it intentional? If so well done.
Before deployment if we choose to speak with evangeline and when asks about our memories and we respond with you(Evangeline). She probes you further. So if you respond you saw fear. The convo loops back. This is another choicescript coding error too.
Overall it was very fun. Will look for future updates and worldbuilding.
As someone who prefers character-driven stories (and is a die-hard detroit become human fan), I’m loving this one. The characters feel real and deep and are very likeable. Even E, who hates us from the get-go, is a character worth getting to know
Though I might be in the minority here, my favorite ended up being Cap. I loved the scene where they ask who you’d save if you only had one option, and then get upset when you answer “you, Cap, because you have the most value as the leader”. Now that’s angst. And of course I said I’d kill them if asked, I love myself some doomed yaoi vibes. But honestly, any scene with Cap is my favorite scene
Now, my two cents:
The combat training with A seems to be a bit abrupt. You get one choice at the beginning of the fight, then you get a short paragraph related to the action and whether you were successful or not, and then it abruptly says that one of you has surrendered and is now somehow pinned under the other. It’s especially noticeable if you pass calculated attack, where the last sentence of the action-described paragraph is “I see my opportunity and pounce” and then you get the “With his surrender locked in…” I’m not saying it’s wrong that the fight is short, it was just kinda confusing to read, like when in a movie you see a character standing in one shot and then randomly sitting in the next
I was really struggling to picture the map when Page was explaining it, I think it’d be nice if we could see it before it’s explained
When waiting for Cap to come back, you can read as many books/draw as many things as you want, and the choice for each dissappears, but the choice for reading/drawing doesn’t, so it leads to an error if you choose it again
I hope it will be explained later why Clarke and some others hate Vanguards and E so much, to the point of acting like high school bullies. It’s just weird to see a grown ass adult tell someone he wishes they were dead for what seems like no reason
I was also wondering what exactly the role of the Vanguard is within the military, and what specific objective they were given. Are they supposed to be like regular (but better) soldiers fighting for the motherland, or do they only serve the military? This question arose after the training with Cap, when I chose to retreat into the city and they asked what’s our purpose if civilians die because of us. Except having no familiarity with the world outside the military, Vanguards have little reason to care about civilian casualties unless specifically told to do so. After all, “serving the Ministry” does not necessarily mean serving its civilians
Does picking sentinel lock you into denfensive combat? I chose it because I wanted to have athletics and strategy as my highest stats, like a fighter aware of their surroundings and capable of coming up with complex solutions, or even as a sort of stealth build, not necessarily a defensive one
As for the personality stats, I was trying to play a character who does not believe themselves to be human, but tries to emulate humanity and is friendly because that fits their goals of serving the Ministry, but it felt like the options were always either [friendly/emotional and human] or [cold/detached and machine]. So the personality of my character ended up being emotional and empathetic instead of logical and detached, which is what I wanted them to actually be and act like in a moment of crisis
Hi! Absolutely loving this so far - not my usual genre but I’m so glad I gave it a chance!! The characters feel distinct to me and I enjoyed all the segments to get to know them (E and Fizz my beloveds <3). I really like the team dynamics and interactions with one another - all the details really help to flesh out the vibe of the world. Even the characters that I am not actively romancing I am enjoying so much how the friendships with them develop. I’m so interested to see where it goes from here!
Quick Error Note
On E’s path in chapter 6 where you can have the conversation with them pre-deployment, if you choose to say that you remember them from the labs and then choose the Isolation option, it loops back into the previous passage asking about if the MC will glitch out.
Working to fix these issues now, thanks for finding them! The soldier typo made me laugh because sure enough it was spelled as “solider” over 50 times in just one chapter I also made a 3rd response for Cap to give during their debrief, accounting for if your MC assented to being called Evie without actually expressing a strong preference for it
I’d put that generic reply as a place holder. Next update will have unique responses!
I was half-convinced I’d waited too long to update and folks would have given up on this
I also made a 3rd response for Cap to give during their debrief, accounting for if your MC assented to being called Evie without actually expressing a strong preference for it
