The Detective and The Mantis (New WIP)

Yes, I’ll def be introducing Romulus and Silah romance options in subsequent chapters. In these first few I’m letting the player get to know the characters first.

I might add Borchyk romance options under a few specific circumstances.

Initially I thought this thread was about an investigator and an insect, so I didn’t click on it as that didn’t tickle my fancy, but glad I eventually did. Really enjoying the theme and style you’re going for so far.

Definitely some of the similarities to Mass Effect feel a bit on the nose (especially Silah / Quarians, C-Sec, even The Nimble to a lesser extent), but I’m a die hard Mass Effect fan and currently wearing an N7 t-shirt so take that with a huge grain of salt…like a Krogan size grain of salt.

Like others have suggested, a little more world building wouldn’t go astray, but I’m actually ok with the pacing. I can’t remember which one it was, but I played a COG ages ago that developed the character and world building through interactive flashbacks throughout the story and it worked really, really well, even though as a player you were thrown into it. That kind of narrative device might work really well here, at least more than a traditional info dump might, a bit harder to explore, but your writing style is really strong and concise so could be worth the tackle.

One of the other things I enjoyed in the demo, is the focus on smaller character numbers. I’m notoriously bad for remembering who is who and their roles, so a few key characters with those loyalty / persuade / etc options that crop up and it feels like a winning recipe for relationship development and roleplaying.

Keen to follow this!


I loved reading your feedback Icinix. I think that a couple things I need to add are tools to help the player visualize themselves. My initial thought was that the player will just picture themselves, but I realize that choosing an option sort of cements this image into the game world, even if it doesn’t materially affect anything. I may even lean into this and allow the player to describe their body type and clothes, that sort of thing. I think it’ll be effective.

And yeah, I definitely want the player to have a good developed relationship with a few characters rather than to have a huge number of vague characters. It’s something I tried to focus on, so I’m glad you noticed it!

I’m also glad you mentioned your initial thoughts on the title! If you thought that, then doubtless dozens more thought the same. I’ll try coming up with something that more clearly communicates “sci-fi detective noir story” haha

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Great ideas, I’ll incorporate something like that for sure.

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I thought it was an insect, too. (Although it made me curious instead.)

Happy to see another detective game and it is also a space opera! :partying_face: Writing is really great. Can’t wait for more.

To be honest I didn’t get impression that game based or inspired by specifically ME, or didn’t get any ME vibes, maybe because ship and crew introductions, all kinds of warp gates etc I saw/read many times before. :thinking: Not to repeat some concepts is really hard.

This was fun! I enjoyed the fast pace of the writing and plot – it makes it feel like we’re following a noir detective. I liked that the detective can have terse dialogue as well, and how in the choices it shows what’s needed for options to become available (such as loyalty). I also liked we get a few lines/paragraphs here and there about the backstory without it slowing down the pace.

It seems like there should be more description, however, especially since this is set in a futuristic/space setting. It might also be a good idea to have a longer introduction to our crew mates, especially if the player chooses right away to make their own judgement during that conversation with Dominguez. I agree with the others about it reminding me a bit too much of Mass Effect, although I think adding more information might help make this universe seem different.

Having character creation options like that can help with roleplaying too, so that sounds like a good idea.

Looking forward to chapter five! :relaxed:


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