@fox_vixen
After talking with April, the story seems to go back to when she first introduce herself, and I then have to go through it all again with no correlation between which option I choose and which result I get.
Is there a goto missing, or some old text that haven’t been deleted or something?
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I really like the story and premise, very interesting read. I got the same error as @The_Lady_Luck, I can’t get past meeting April. Still, good stuff.
Hey! Some really neat ideas I’m seeing here with good writing, albeit with some bugs. I get the same loop error as @The_Lady_Luck. Which is a shame since I wanted to read the rest of the chapter. Also the picture of our mom that our dad gives us before we go to school doesn’t show up. Seems it was removed or the server just cant find it. But overall, a promising read for sure!
Paranoid and that
so true 
I really can’t overstate how much I love this so far, I really can’t wait to see more!
I hope to introduce April to my good friend Lava-san if it didn’t take my powers.
school line 683: It is illegal to fall out of a *choice statement; you must *goto or *finish before the end of the indented block.
Aas a female it seems to loop back a few times when you are flirting with april (same scene over again)
Found a couple more bugs.
And when playing as a guy.
Both occur after responding to whether or not April is familiar.
Ok, I think that I fixed at least most the problems you guys reported but if you see anything else let me know! 
Also I would like to know your thoughts on April and Tristian!
Do you like them or dislike like them?
why?
Or is it too soon to tell?
…I just want to get a general idea on what to focus on and what I need to work on with my characters! 
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I like Tristan, and YES! ASL! I took a class during my sophomore year of high school and fricken loved it! So I love that.
I don’t really like April. I kinda have a tough (badass) MC I’m playing, so they kinda’ve clashes when first meeting.
Nice update, it’s good meeting some characters. But I still believe the MC needs to have more personality.
I don’t know if this’d be more work, but I kinda wish for an average or loner option when choosing why you think that Tristian might have started hanging out with you. Sorta like a ‘I don’t know why he started hanging out with me, i’m not especially talented or popular’ or something like that. I really like this by the way! 
I love ‘magical girl’ sort of games where you can play a guy and still wear the silly dress!
I noticed quite a few typos, but I’m gonna assume that you already have help with that unless I’m told otherwise.
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Well I like that the MC seems to be a little bit of a deadpan snarker at times. And magical girl/boy stories! Getting hit by childhood nostalgia right now (I think this is the only WIP with that genre on this site besides Carebanet Girls, or at least the only one that I remembered) 
but I’m a little bit sad for the lack of an nb option…
Oh god the costume is fantastically ridiculous the dress really starts to seem like the better choice XD and the yellow hurts my eyes, gosh I can already see my MC whine: “Why do I have to end up with the girly shit? and a color that gives my eyes cancer I’m not even that sunny! You could call me gloom doom and it would be more fitting! 
Do I get a different color scheme if I change sides?” And so the world got destroyed for a better outfit…or ar least a color scheme that won’t let them look sickly because of it’s brightness 
After all, protecting the world? who can say no to that?
Everybody who once looked around to see what a damn mess the world is 
but well, can only say no if you got it presented as choice. Well my MC has a bone to pick with…whatever that voice was.
Princess
Okay, I have to ask: Are there really fathers that call their daughters that? What kind of relationship do you have? Mine at most calles me a besom… But I would also probably headbutt every person that calls me “princess” ugh that’s so girly and I certainly make sure that I’m not…that. I thought choosing the “I don’t like dresses” option would save me from such a treatment. 
but can’t escape looking like MC’s mom it seems…too bad I really would prefer to be handsome instead of beautiful 
But can we at least tell the dad to stop calling us that? Please?
But nice for a change that the MC has not to hide their powers from their family.
I wish the options to react to the reveal about MC’s mom were worded a little bit less emotional loaded…and it feels kinda rushed? Also because I can’t really sort in the father’s character besides him being MC’s father I mean (…what’s wrong with the dude? Like don’t “princess” me like some caring super dad and then show the emotional caring capabilities of a peanut…like what’s his deal? Is he always like that?). I don’t really have a reason to care about him…or MC’s mom, worse because we only got told about her by the father and hear nothing about the things MC remembers about her (well because there is nothing they remember I guess, but we only get told that later on), so their reaction is just out of nowhere. MC’s mom gets basically no personality and is only fridged to give us some cheap drama/sob story for the MC and their dad. :T
The jump between emotions for the MC is just very hectic, too, none of it is really allowed to have an impact because it’s just so rushed, especially in contrast to the dream. It’s not even “this is so much it feels overwhelming for the MC” but more first they feel like this then like that, rushed joke inbetween and now the tone shifts again and that during just two pages or so. And following that MC just seems to stop caring? Suddenly they are totally at peace with all that happens, even if just moments ago they nearly had a nervous breakdown? What? It’s just hectic.
And we get to know more about MC’s parents so damn late, it just seems a little bit the wrong way around? Idk. It’s weird getting presented with something that should have an emotional impact but getting the context only after that?? (Even weirder if said impact is just forgotten a paragraph later)
You want answers but you’ll still kinda pissed
Having the option worded like this doesn’t make sense as I never took the angry option.
And I agree that MC seems to lack personality outside of plot/emotional impact convenience, but because said personality doesn’t get clearly established it just doesn’t fit at parts and I basically can have the MC jump between ways to act by choosing not fitting options, but that shouldn’t happen. If a option is basically and clearly meant as follow up to the choice preceding it I shouldn’t even get that option if I took a different choice.
Btw, could we take the photo just to humor MC’s dad? Like “I don’t care about the photo it has no meaning for me, and actually this is sonewhat overwhelming with expectations, but hurting dad sounds like more trouble as just taking the picture?” Just being more distant without being so angry?
Hm…I’m also irritaded by the “choices” following the name option. I can see why you would want to avoid having too many pages of exposition without choices, but in that format it makes no difference if you would put the question on the next button instead (especially as the answers we get aren’t that helpful long). Or is that a mistake? Or a stylistic choice/ has it some meaning on a meta level? Anyway it irritates me, also because following that exchange actually would be a good place to give us a choice for how to react to not get any answer, just to form a little bit MC’s character… (I mean, there wouldn’t be anything wrong to not give us any choices too, just to get the prolog fast enough out of the way, it’s not that much text between the choices)…and I in MC’s place anyway would be quite thrilled to have a lucid dream…the last thing I would want is waking up, I would prefer to look how much I can influence, but well…
Take care of tenses, because at least right here you are switching from present to past tense (could be happening more often, that’s just the first instance I noticed):
^ this please.
Since when exactly does MC know Tristan or did I just miss when that was mentioned? Since when did MC start to learn ASL (and why can’t they already some simple signs as “How are you?”…that one really is not that difficult…I see why Tristan is dissappointed)
Also may consider to add a page break when you introduce April, that’s just much text especially while reading on mobile, see:
I by the way feel connected to April on a very deep level after that introduction. (But I think it’s kinda obsolet to ask us just if we remember anything about her or not, but that’s just because I always take information if a game wants to present it to me…also did you just try to force some genre savvy-ness onto MC?)
“Hiya!” She chirps out cheerfully. She leads out a hand towards you and grins. “My name’s April!”
…okay…in my mind I just gave her one of those voices whose pitch make me aggressive after that description and oh, look all my connection to her flies out of the window getting replaced by the fucks I give about her now, which means none…does she want to be the sunshine? Does she? Because she ridiculously acts like one and she can have that mustard colored disaster if she wants =_=
You can feel your cheeks flame up as you think about her offer
…MC either has more confidence than me or a much better gaydar for assuming anything that would cause such a reaction…or both…like…gosh MC where goes your mind? Nothing either she or you said was flirty in any way. 
not even sure if I would like to have such confidence, considring in this case it was the absolutely wrong assumption to make…
Found this bug:
But well, good start anyway, it will be nice to see more of it.
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Ugh, I hate being called that! While my dad irl doesn’t call me that exactly he still call me “his little girl”. And has bluntly said that he will always see me as that.
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Ugh, I think many father’s think so, but I prefer to not always get reminded about it >.< I can absolutely understand why you hate it.
Yeah, could we choose whether to blush or not here. (My MC has eyes only for Tristian. 
)
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Hey everyone, I just wanted to let you guys know that it may be a while until the next update. I’ll try to have something before next week but right now I can’t promise anything.
@Sammysam, Thanks for being honest with me
I admit I was rushing to get this out as soon as possible so I’m not surprised that it comes across as that. Also about the princess thing, my father uses a lot of pet names so I just assumed that “Princess” was super common… I’ll add an option to get him to stop calling you that. 
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lol my girlfriend had the same reaction to “princess” I personally like it, but maybe that’s just because it’s the nickname a lot of my friends call me by and I’ve always been super girly 
Maybe an option of if you want him to call you that? Sure beats what my dad called me before he stopped talking to me altogether 
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Yeah, that’s probably the best. I just don’t see myself this way nor do I want to be very princess-like so it feels a little bit like a reminder: “You should be that way, not the way you really are” and mostly in a meta sense too because there is no choice about it.
The moment there is a choice it loses that connotation for me, even if MC’s father still would continue to call MC that, because the narrative accepts that not everybody would like such a petname, even if the MC father may doesn’t. Does that make sense?
Also, I’m not good at stuff like this but:
(Or an empathic pat on the back if you don’t like hugs)
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Hey guys I’m sorry for the wait!
I just wanted to let you guys know that I have an update planned soon!
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I have to warn you that a lot of the update is editing but there WILL be new content!
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