The Cain Foundation WIP updated 08/13/21

i dont usually comment a lot (first time commenting lmao) since im a hardcore introvert but this brought back so many emotions. reading through this wip made me cry so much cause i too have a stuff toy that i deeply love and the fact that we get to play as one just hurts me so much. i cant wait to see more and i would definitely be sticking around to find out. the way you write also makes my heart hurt, stop it (lmao jk pls continue)

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life as a long abandoned and bitter stuffed animal reanimated with a new purpose? sign me up! the mc kinda reminds me of that clown from toy story 3 and i love how we can choose to be old and cranky with a dry sense of humor. the perspective text is really well written and really descriptive. nice work so far!

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Stories like this are truly touching and eye-catching……I literally cried when my MC, a white toy bird, found that her(just my imagination part) old friend passed and she was deserted and broken and lost her scarf(Not to mention the part where she was told that her old friend forgot about her…)… When I was young I used to playing with a few toys, but they were long gone. Some were sent away to other younger friends, and some were simply discarded. After so many years I begin to think about them again…
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Just wondering, will my toy MC get a chance to meet her first friend again? In my story my toy MC’s strongest emotions are all related to her first friend, so I really really hope they can get the chance to meet again somehow……
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Again thank you for a good story!

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This was so cool!!! I can’t wait till we can fix ourselves up and to learn more about the other characters! Rollor especially since they seem different from Brook and Mama Rute

Summary

Yes I do intend to add more with every character now with more playable animals and what not also that choice you pointed out has been changed to allow it regardless of emotion

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This is so cute and wonderful and sad. If I hadn’t been sobbing yesterday I’d definitely cry from the beginning… I wish this got more attention… I feel it’s way more deserving than some of the other stuff here.

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Aaah I’m sooo happy this updated! I was literally thinking I wished for an update yesterday, and my wish was granted.

I loved the new content, and the playful banter that may take place between Brook and the MC warms my heart - I love the dynamic building up between them. I honestly wasn’t sure what to think of Brook previously, but with the new content I can definitely say I adore them!

One thing that surprised me a bit on the other hand was the fact the opportunity to have MC lament they left without their accessory (I don’t remember the exact moment, but it must have been more or less when Brook retrieved them) seems to have been removed. Why is that? :thinking:

I also have another question. It’s during the “high society” memory. When the kid says hello to the people, they say “She and I are both pleased to meet you all.”, and I was wondering if it was because they decided the MC was a girl, as it was their plushie, or if it is a mistake? Though I don’t know since well, at this point we didn’t set our MC’s gender yet anyway, and realistically I don’t think a kid from the twenties would use “they” instead of a binary gender for their toy… Basically, I’m a bit confused :rofl:

I have also spotted a couple of errors here and there. I didn’t write down typos and such, but rather coding issues.

When talking with Rute and she explains about telepathy:

She says “For example if Brook were here she could hear the words which you project as easily as I do.
But Brook is gender selectable and we only select their gender after that (on that very same page, actually), so it shouldn’t default to female.

Once their gender is set:

I got a bunch of errors with their pronouns, mostly the wrong gender displaying:

  • (…) so as not to give me a chance to question her further despite the fact I haven’t said a thing since he began his rant.
    I set the gender as male, but it says “question her”.
  • Brook trails off seeming to be calculating something in he head which I might have thought would have been easy though that does not seem to be the case.
    In this case it says “he head” instead of “his head”.
  • “Yea I think I’ve got it.” I tell his easily.
    Similar to the previous one - it says “his” instead of “him”.
  • “Mama Rute says at last. Brook shakes her head in response.”
    “her” again.
  • It’s some time before the Automaton returns, he shakes her head faintly.
    Same, with “her head”.
  • Brook shakes her head as Mama Rute chuckles evilly snatching her walking stick back once she’s able.
    Still the same - “her head”.

And lastly, the save system wasn’t implemented (since the changelog says it has). Like, it simply doesn’t appear (as opposed to it not working or whatever).

This is all I’ve spotted!

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Well, I had to drop my first post here. I thought it was going to be a cute story, but oof. I think I’ve never cried this much since childhood. Perhaps I’ve been too emotional lately, or maybe was the combination of first-person with the inability to communicate that hit really hard when I realize that I was forgotten by the only person that cared about me (John Henry being a special mention), and then even worse, said person was dead. 40 years waiting for something that wouldn’t return, only then to be thrown in the trash, being the only one with memories left and so many emotions unheard.

I even had to take a break from reading since I was sobbing too much, which turned out to be useless, since I cried even more when I resumed. It’s even well said in the story itself: “It feels like a flood is welling at the shore, rising with ease above every beach head, and border built to protect.” Then, after so many tears, Brook’s lively nature counters the sadness in a way that I can describe as “someone that makes a crying person smile”, which makes everything so light, after all depression and brings a sense of hope.

Needless to to say I only have praises to give, and the mistakes that I spotted were the pronouns being changed from time to time for the MC and Brook.

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Has this wip been abandoned?

@Redway_bull – Please let the moderator team know if you’d like to reopen the thread