Symphony in The Deep (WIP: Current word count 34k words)

Hosted Games Works In Progress
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The Terminal War.

The war that shattered the sky

The war that turned underground into an abominable hellscape

The war that brought Humanity down into an abyssal gutter

The war that ended fifteen years ago.

You are an Echo Strider. A specialized operative with the duty of delving into The Deep. The mission set of mapping, sabotaging, and if the cost-benefit allows, dying in The Deep.

So far, you and your Cell have turned out nominal.

Until one mission. A goal of tracking a mysterious signal has you reeled into events that are far above your station.

Stride Up and Check Up.

Because The Deep is alive.

The Deep is hungry.

And The Deep is watching you.

Hello everyone. This is my first long term story so all feedback is appreciated.

For feedback, any is appreciated. I would most like feedback on…well dialogue, clarity, and any sort of structural problems. Typos are appreciated (There is probably a lot.) as well.

Currently, I have a prologue (approx 5k words) and one chapter fully finished (approx 24k words) and a portion of chapter two finished (approx 5k words). I was tempted to write a bit more to it, but due to the holidays coming up I decided to get it out now. Consider it a present in your stocking…or coal depending on what you think of it lmao.

The features:

Four personality types that you decide base on the choices you make on the Prologue and Chapter one.

Three specialization types on how your protagonist solves problems. Combat, Adaptability, or Insight

Currently planned for four(possibly five) romance options, one already introduced.

For content warnings, this is a darker world so be prepared for that. PTSD, traumatic flashbacks, gore and combat. State oppression, mentions of drug use and addiction.

Here is the link for my demo (corrected hopefully): CoGDemos

AI Disclosure: No AI is present within this story.

No — This project does not contain the output of Generative AI
Yes — This project contains the output of Generative AI

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Be aware. The link doesnt work.

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Great first impression. Alright i’ll see what I can do bout that.

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May you please check if that works?

Also had to fix a problem with the chapter not loading…a random capitalization screwed me over there.

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The link does work now yes!

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I’ll admit i was a tad confused at times (perhaps that was on purpose?) but over all you have the makings of an interesting story here, perhaps offering us more information on what we’re dealing with might be a good idea? I have a vague idea on what the deep is and what the corralspawn are but actually knowing what they are would be nice. Also the stat screen didnt work for me… though its possible you havent added any actual stats yet.

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What were the things you were confused about?

I’d rather not give you too much exposition regarding the world as I’d believe that would take you out of the story. Your character is an elite operative who practically lives within this environment, so them explaining every concept would seem…not immersive. If it gets to the point however, of players (readers?) not understanding the world entirely than that would need to be worked on.

Were there any coding errors you ran into, and yes stats will be implemented in the next update, which by my estimate be released mid January. Should be half or three fourths of chapter two finished.

Thank you for trying my story!

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Your character may know everything about the environment but the player doesnt, perhaps a codex system might be a good balance? I’ve seen multiple stories use one instead of bombarding the reader with info.

I did notice one error, after choosing to aid second in protecting the rest of team i then tried choosing the middle option to look around and assess the situation but it wouldnt let me.

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The codex idea sounds good, new entries could be added as new worldbuilding elements are encountered. Very nice inclusion. Thanks for that suggestion!

I will figure out how to include that in the next update.

I do not know what is exactly causing the error you encountered. The coding looks right on my end but something must be wrong. I will figure that out as well.

Thank you for the great suggestions

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I really like this :star_struck: ! I’m very intrigued and it is certainly an interesting premise, can’t wait for more :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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Thank you for playing my story! Next update should be around mid to late January. I should hopefully have chapter two or at least a large chunk of it done.

This will include the full character customization and one more system I have planned.

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Ohhhh, I am SOOOO into this story! The world, the characters, .. everything feels so deliberate and lived in, I love it!

Have you considered making a tumblr page for the IF? It really helps with getting more eyes on your project and engaging with the community if that’s something you’re interested in. I’d love to be able to keep up with the story progression and updates for sure! (I made a COG account just to write this message to you lmao!)

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Thank you for playing my story!

i never thought about making a tumblr I won’t lie, but it does seem like a great idea with those suggestions you made. It would also be a good way for people to inform me of Bugs. I’ll see to it.

Next update I am planning on a mid to late January release. It should be the majority of chapter two.

Thank you!

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