Sports Genre: Luuckey United F.C. (WIP, First Entry 07/05/2020 - Last Update 16.05.2020)

[mexbrush]

My first Choice of Games project based on the perspective of a young person dealing with the struggle of many responsibilities as life happens.

You inherited a football club indebted and almost dissolving from your grandfather. It’s your legacy to keep it afloat and away from shame now

Currently it’s about (~5%, Part I, 18K words) done, I plan on to upgrade on regular basis.
Match dynamics kept me busy for longer than I thought, than updating and tweaking them more or less took a week of my spare time.

• MC will have a various kinds of career paths to assist his main objective.
• Every career daily/shift performance is set on variables so will have several outcomes based on the performance die rolled.
• Every path will cross you to different NPC’s with different backgrounds.
• Will have sandbox type MC development while also following the main arc in the timeline. And the game seems to be very long.
• MC will interact with side characters as well as Romance options , each interaction will bring something on the table. Variables also do occur when doing something with NPC’s .
  :: A living atmosphere is targeted so your actions will reflect on the lives of NPC’s and you will get reactions back to it.
  :: The team stats depends on MC and itself - trainings will provide stat points to players with randomly bonuses happening and boosting their abilities.
  :: The squad NPCs will develope as MC and depending on time and support level their stories will be added.
  :: Interactive relationship with team coaches and supporters
  :: Play slots with the slots machine in the local pubs and interact with local regulars
  :: The club has facilities and a pitch to improve - the number of spectators will depend on the variables as much as your stat points. The more you have the more the club will make £
  :: You will have chance to deal with merchandise and food & drinks stands. They do also depend on the variable outcome of spectators.
  :: Improving the tribunes and stadium step by step.
  :: Improving facilities and equipment from almost none to acceptable and finally Professional Leagues quality
  :: Reaching out sponsors for your team
  :: Network channel coverage deals
  :: Competing to qualify for play offs to reach 7th leg to championship league.
  :: Struggling to survive week after week while the plot thickens.
  :: Observing , living and influencing the matches from the benches (as much as the coach let you to do)

Luuckey United F.C. , here we go!

11.05.2020 Minor update - adjusted corrected some minor glitches in the match scene and smoothened some rough parts of other scenes.
Save System is online (Well a true sports gamer do not saves and loads just let the game to the flow ^^ )
16.05.2020 Small Update - Added a ministory - prologue part around 1.7k words

[mexbrush]

@blackrising @Formous @Talyrion @augustus27 @Zarak_Baloch some of you asked to mention when I upload the first playable version. Enjoy!

[augustus27]

Very nice demo! I look forward to seeing it progress. I might have more substantial commentary later, but for now, here are the grammar/spelling issues that I found

Grammar and Spelling issues

1. “You are grandson or granddaughter of late Sir Luuckey”
   Should be phrased as a question instead: Are you the grandson or granddaughter of the late Sir Lucky?

2. “You were keen of your grandfathers club and always be with him during your weekends.”
   Should be: Were you keen on your grandfather’s club?
   or
   Did you spend your weekends with your grandfather at his club?

3. “Practicing tennis after school. You preferred to stay away all of that and focused on your own passion for tennis.”
   You preferred to stay away from all of that

4. “No. You loved your old men but the club is doomed and you couldn’t bear the feeling of self torture by following with club issues. After your incident as a little kid sealed it for you.”
   Should be: No, you loved your old man but you knew the club was doomed and couldn’t bear being there due to club issues. Your incident as a little kid sealed this idea for you

There are grammar mistakes that I will expand on later, but for now this seems to be enough

[Talyrion]

Well, nice to see this coming around.

Not going to lie, though, I feel it’s still a bit rough around the edges. There are quite a few typos, though that would be easily fixable. But more importantly, the game is… rather cold, right now. There are a lot of stats and paramters to account for, but very little humanity in it. The characters aren’t really developed, the players are more stat sheets rather than actual characters, the trainings and the games feel really mechanical rather than engaging… In general, I feel like a lot of energy was invested into making a game system, which is impressive, but as a result, there is little in the way of the narration, making it hard to engage with the WiP.

I hope I don’t come across as overly negative. It’s a pretty impressive endeavour you started, and I’m pretty curious to see where this will go. But I tend to think that a sport story is all about the ability to inspire passion in the reader, and right now I feel like things are a little too clinical for that.

[mexbrush]

Thanks for your feedback. @Talyrion and @augustus27
Well you are right I had to invest a lot of time in designing the concept than writing. So built the skeleton and thought can build stort pieces like adding modules etc.

[Kefs]

Nice seeing sports game. I was once brainstorming how to implement Tsubasa Captain style of football game…had spreadsheets etc, but gave up and pushed it to one of Unity or UE4 projects ^^’’

Good luck making this into good story and well mechanically made out.

[kckolbe]

If you just aren’t a fan of writing, but feel you have a good “engine” for running the franchise, I’d be willing to touch up the prose. Right now, though, with so little effort in the writing, I can’t see any player getting invested.

[FXL3]

I love playing Choice of Sports games! The genre has so much promise- I’ll play this right now!

[FXL3]

I enjoyed playing through it. Luuckey United F.C. could definitely use some work- but I see a lot of potential- I can’t wait to see what becomes of it!

[mexbrush]

Thank you all for taking your time and trying out; for the demo I had to fast forward timeline so it can be a playable game.

Also anyone here familiar with Homeworld, Star Control II Urquan Masters series? Well if yes think the demo is like the first edition mothership. Just engines and basic stuff.

Had to postpone writing and giving depth to bg of some side characters.

I do not want to spoil , after trying 4 ( I thought 5th as well but decided to skip due to be able to reach youngadults as well - gambler & bartender will not be good influnece on younger ones with a bith flirting ability) careers you will be able to go on with a main and side one at most.
Each will have some easter egg characters and flavors to explore .

Your MC gains skill and randomized income in each career task . As the game progresses it will increased by mc skills and traits.

May be I overused the randomization - in the career shift mode for eg - journalist mode reveals - a sample of it . Luck will bring the relevant easter eggs early but they will be addition to your mc’s life soon.

The squad players bgs and the supporters mainly the hood will have a background story for sure. It will reveal itself in the timeline step by step .
As from the names you can see many immigrant and neglected classes are in our so called team so many different backgrounds.

Afterwards comes the competition as well. Competitor teams; each will have their own bg story and with their coaches and may be history.
I will try to be specific to cut it short (in order to prevent having a db like a fictional football manager game - but I will trt I can not promise ^^ )

I’ll try to build up on the stroywise and may be later will improve match dynamics (so far divided to 2 files over 1400 lines, and without suprise factors and some interchangables as well )

For each match day, participant number, stand performance number and those taking place on the seats, stands and a foot are also randomized.
Match is randomized itself sort of unique way, each play will have different scores etc.

The opponent team will have a close range randomized values as well , sports as a nature always oppen to suprises or the victory of the underdogs. (Their values depends on the timeline for sure…)

If do not have to mingle with coding or setting an arithmetics logic I can write more than 1k / hour for the story with very limited code additions.

I tried to be brief hope not spoiled anything.

This season will be long itself with soe micromanagement but when you have a selfsustaining team - Mc will have some other options to reveal etc.
So actually I have more than 10 scenes to write for the first amateur/half pro leagues seasonal half.

[moonfungus]

First things first, I enjoyed the premise. Being an owner instead of a player or a manager, it’s an interesting take. Kind of reminds me of the situation at Tottenham, with Levy and Pochettino/Mourinho. You have to wonder about the future dynamics there.

Our coach and assistant coach seems to be a spin on England’s most famous managerial duo and considering what I have read on Clough, Enough seems to be on point for it. Taylor is someone I want to see more, as irl Clough and Taylor eventually drifted away. Just wondering, will we be able to change managers if we feel like Enough is not doing a good enough job for us? (pun intended)

One bit of advice though, things are a bit mechanical in the match segment in my opinion. Like too much FM vibes. While normally I wouldn’t mind that (big FM sucker here), others might be discouraged from continuing on with the book. Maybe do it a commentary-esque way?

The writing needs a bit more polishing and the conversations could use a bit fleshing out.

Overall, color me intrigued😁

[Dealta]

After reading the first few pages, I simply couldn’t read anymore.
The concept is good, but the writing does not allow me to connect with any characters at all.
Hopefully you can fix these tiny issues, then I’m sure it would be a great game.

[mexbrush]

I’m updating primary post for progress and will keep updating as well. I did work on some rough edges and parts the passing week also added a prologue part.
Hope to progress more on the timeline next week while cogs are still warm for writing ^^

[moonfungus]

Okay, that was an interesting prologue.

Now I’m curious where you plan to take this story too, since now we have a mysterious Indian artifact in our hands which is apparently cursed. Just perfect. I can’t help but wonder, the prologue sounded like a particular Sherlock Holmes story (A Sign of Four, perhaps you have read it?), but it’s quite good actually. Adds a bit mystery

Also, there were some typos out there, nothing major, although I would ask you to fix the spelling of Delhi and Bombay (spelled in the demo as Delphi and Bombai).

Overall, keep up!

[Ebusko]

The plot is really good though it has minor spelling problems but those could be corrected easily

[better_call_saul]

I absolutely loved the small demo.

[mexbrush]

Hi all, I know I didn’t post for a while.
While adjusting the new normal (work with masks and corona) was thinking over the game development.
I will keep writing but will only inform after a sizable update is present.

Also figured out a way for some action packed stuff including random outputs but those will require a personally scripted code library for the sport theme itself.

I structured it at my mind and postponed the development so I can focus on storytelling.

(Ps: blame Epic games for Civ VI freebie and others for delays )

[Big_Bird]

I liked the concept but I think being the manager instead of the owner would be more immersive

[mexbrush]

For both actually a genre script library needed.
I was thinking on writing to scripting topics due to the detail and depthness of the logic.

I wanted the score outcomes to be random based on level.

So it actually creates a spaghetti incident on coding parts which needed to be sort out clearly. The more experienced coders will probably see that from the start.

Thanks for your feedback and trying out ^^