Solo Guild Testers needed


#1

Yosh this is my first Game, Every one that see this post , can you please test my game, well not so much that i have done but is worth of trying publishing it, khe he…
https://dashingdon.com/play/aztechwolf/solo-guild/mygame/

Your feedback is important for my improving , Thanks a lot


#2

Could you give some more information on the game itself beforehand?


#3

well its a game that you take care of a guild alone, Questing, Learn Magic, Upgrade Rank, Training and other things, more feature is under work


#4

In what kind of setting? Fantasy? Sci-fi? Something completely different? And what is the story even about in the first place? What is the role of the main character? What sets this game apart from anything else with a similar system?

You’re the writer. Try to give me a reason why I would even click that link in the first place aside from plain curiosity.


#5

Curious, I think if you ad a tad more detail of what the book is about…like a blurb :smile:.


#6

just a RPG games, but this one is text based , im just new writer, so the reason for you to play my games is to tell me where part that im weak, so i can improve


#7

What is this game about then? I’ve never seen an RPG without a story before, so I’m betting you’ve got one.

Points of improvement this far:

  • Writing blurbs about your stories in order to convince people to try them out. I, and probably a lot of other people too, don’t feel compelled to try (or later on buy) a game unless I’ve got at least some idea of what it’s about beforehand.

#8

When you are looking for people to try your game, you first have to let them know what it is about, with some details mainly:

  • What is the setting?
  • The genre(s)?
  • Is there a plot?
  • What unique features are there?
  • Any features you want to put in?

#9

A couple of spelling mistakes, but it’s pretty good! “You have to tell the damned person where the mistakes are!”

Oh yea.

So on the resource collecting page when you meet with the shop keep there is "“i need Some Iron Material”. There is too many capitals in the wrong places and you forgot to capitalize I. Also some periods need to be added.

Same thing with the attacking the bandits page, choices are capitalized wrong and again periods.

It overall just needs a brush over by an editor (If you need one I can help).


#10

Lots of spelling and grammar mistakes but it looks like it could be fun to play if you fixed that? Also the pacing seems a little funny. When I was escorting the prince, everything happened so fast I couldn’t process any details before it was over. It wasn’t very suspenseful for an RPG battle scene. This just reads more like a rough draft than a finished demo.


#11

All best RPGs are lacking in story. Nethack, for example, and the roguelikes that act as add-ons to it only go as far as saying you have to find an amulet, and that it’s at the bottom of a giant dungeon that you just happen to be at the top of. Best game ever that one.

I’ll be sure to test 'er.


#12

“You have to find an amulet” is still a story of sorts, or a clear purpose at the very least.


#13

I find it confusing, but I’ll soon figure it out.


#14

I like the idea, and the spelling is ok…but the grammar is terrible. About part way through I decided to say how I would have written the sentences, I wouldn’t trust them completely but I think they get most of the basic errors. I think this is going to take a bit…
Do you want me to bug you about “meeting quester…” like sentences? They sounded like objectives in a game instead of actual sentences so I was lenient with them.

In the deep of Night, you can sense a killing Aura…

The Wolf show their Self…

Night, aura, self and wolf are unnecessarily capitalized.

I think you also want to use wolves instead.

You kick all of That Wolf, again and again… More Wolf…

Deeper Night…

More Wolf…

I suggest “those” instead of “that” and wolves instead of wolf.
Deeper night, doesn’t sound right, maybe “Deeper into the night…”

Wolf, that and night are unnecessarily capitalized.

Lets Serious
Maybe “Lets get serious”

Calm, The Dogs is weak

“Calm down, the dogs are weak”

You are Realized that they are getting more and more in number, so you stop playing and use all the power you have and beat them You Cleaning all of These Wolf, The Village is soooooo Happy…

"You realized that they are getting more and more in number, so you stop playing and use all the power you have to beat them. Since you cleared all of those wolves, the village is soooooo happy… "

UH…? Some Wild Dogs is Getting in your way? what will you do?

“Uh? Some wild dogs are getting in your way? What will you do?”

You are getting into Fighting Position, all the Wild Dog is Surround you, they are looks like never have a food for over 5 days

“You are getting into fighting position, all the wild dogs are surrounding you, they look like they didn’t have food for over 5 days.”

You can Easily Beat Them… You meet the Quester and Give the Herbs.

You easily beat them… You meet the Quester and give the herbs."

Shop Keeper “i need Some Iron Material”

Shop Keeper “I need Some Iron Material”

From here you can see 5 Bandits is going To attack you

“From here you can see 5 bandits are going to attack you.”

You are ready to Fight, wow All of these bandits is holding weapon…

“You are ready to fight, wow all of these bandits are holding a weapon…”

All of that bandits cannot resist your Magic and easily Beaten all of that Bandits is making you Tired, but you just arrive in the Location.

“Those bandits cannot resist your magic and are easily beaten. The fight with all of those bandits has made you tired, but you have just arrived to the Location.”

You are Going Back… But The Last Bandits that you Beat is Coming with all of Their Companions, its Almost 35 Bandits…

“You are going back… But the last bandits that you beat are coming with all of their companions, there are almost 35 bandits…”

What Do I Think? Run…

Huh? Lets Play some more…

I think this is personal preference but you usually see only three periods in long pauses.

You Fight all of Them so well, But you are againts your Stamina, All of that Bandits using their Quantity as Advantage and overpowered you, you got Beaten so Much, Damn… You Got Beaten By Enemy, and Lost all Materials that you Picking before…

“You fought all of them so well, but you ran out of stamina, those bandits used their numbers to their advantage and overpowered you, you got beaten so much, damn… You got beaten by the enemy, and lost all the materials that you were picking before…”

You don’t want to switch from a tense in the middle of a sentence just stick to one.

King “take my son to the Glaire Kingdom for a Kingdom Conversation, make sure he safe when go and return”

  • King: (Or "The king said/says/order/order variations of that) “take my son to the Glaire Kingdom for a Kingdom Conversation, make sure he safe during the trip”

Meeting with Prince…

Meeting with the Prince…

Prince “Lets go guild master”

{name} “as your Command Prince”

{name} "as you command Prince"
Same thing I said with the King

For Prince safety only both of you and Prince that go. The King Expect Large Number can Draw Attention.

Going to Glaire Kingdom…

Everything is under control but you can sense a Mage Powers…

  • For the Prince’s safety only both you and Prince go. The King expects that large numbers may draw attention.

Going to Glaire Kingdom…

  • Everything is under control but you can sense a mage’s Powers…

You are going to Fight The Enemy, This is a Duel of Mage

Enemy “DIEEE”

  • You are going to fight the enemy, this is a duel of mages

Enemy "DIEEE"
Same thing with king.

I can Handle Him Without Magic

This Time is About Magic Battle

I can handle him without magic

"It’s about time for a magic battle"
This choice just sounds weird to me even when fixed.

You start your move by avoiding his surprise attack, when you are going to do backstep, you can’t feel your body… You Awake in a dark Place…

You can Hear Prince Voice…

Now you are In Prison, You and The Prince is taken Hostage By Enemy

You Break The Cell and looking for Prince…

Someone See you…

“Hostage Escaped Hostage Escaped”

Prepare for Fight…

You start your move by avoiding his surprise attack, when you are going to do backstep, you can’t feel your body… You awake in a dark place…

You can hear the Prince’s voice…

Now you are in prison. You and the Prince have been taken hostage by the enemy

You break the cell bars or out the cell and look for the Prince…

Someone sees you…

"The hostage has escaped! The hostage has escaped"
Prepare for Fight…

I think that’s a good stopping point for me right now sine I got an error “EscortPrince line: 71 expected option starting with #”

bandits line 5 nonexistent command “pege_break”


#15

First off, you need to give a better transition from the prologue to the actual game. It feels like the reader inputs some basic information and is immediately thrown into the game without any major idea of time, setting, races, what our surroundings are like or what the significance of guilds within the game world are. Also, the grammar needs some serious work. From what I saw, all of the words were spelled correctly, but horribly misplaced. I would either go back and correct that or (if English isn’t your first language) have someone with a better grasp of the English language correct it for you. The idea is good, but needs serious work. If I were you, I would scrap the current version completely and restart based on the advise given to you by me and others here. Good luck! :slight_smile:


#16

well im indonesian people and not using any translate app, so the grammar is really terrible, soo many feature that was already in my mind but i think i need some one with good spelling and grammar to help me out maybe, anyone interest with my project? i think this is something new, anyone have make some kind of this before?


#17

contact me here or at facebook Roy Setiawan