“Ash grins at you over his shoulder as he turns around and walks away. You see her lips moving though you strain to hear it. After a moment, you decipher what Ash said:”
I’m not sure her power is to make me think she’s a male
Gah, I thought I fixed Ash >.<
Will change that, thank you :3
*PS: Depending on your decision on what your orientation is, Ash can either be Female or Male 
The standard model was male, so most of the time, you would see him as a male if anything goes wrong with the coding or I forgot to change the ‘he,his,him’ parts… so yay -____-
Jack can be short for Jacqueline and its various alternate spellings.
I knew I was right! Yet I can’t quite believe it
I guess I will rework the names so that there won’t be any ‘neutral’ names left
Anyway I hope to bring out the next part soon :3
If I keep the idea flow up and the speed in which I am typing, I mean. Otherwise, it might still take a little bit… But let’s be optimistic ^^
2 Likes
The new chapter is out now and introduces a new character!
I hope everything works fine and with not too many mistakes in the text xD
Just as a little question, who is your favorite character so far?
Do you think the choices are alright?
Is there anything else you might want to ask/say?
1 Like
I get an error about not being able to load the scene next_morning - says the file doesn’t exist.
This is after the conversation with Ash.
After ash leaves and I press to go to the next page I got an error message
gah… had the problem last evening… thought I fixed that… one moment…
EDIT: Okay, I think it should be fixed now! I’m sorry for that mistake ._.
I’m in a loop in chapter 1 at the library after school
Next scene error fixed.
Some corrections I spotted on the way through chapter 1:
First page chapter 1 gender issue:
“The woman has left without a trace to follow her and with what has happened, you are not really sure if it might be the best idea to seek her out as he said that people with powers can be tracked.”
====
"You free later?
Need 2 show U something.
You send a glare towards Cassandra, who just smirks at you. She knows exactly that you are not fond of this shortcuts when writing."
“this shortcuts” should be “these shortcuts”
=====
“It is totally unfair that he catched you and not me.”
Should be caught not catched
“Did you know that he catched Mike last week cheating during a test?”
Here too
====
“You step out into the free and away from the suffocating walls of the university.”
Awkward sentence, could possibly be
“You step out into the freedom of being outside and away from the suffocating walls of the university.”
====
“You depart from Cassandra and walk down the lane.”
depart from > leave
====
“The weather has no mercy for the citizen of Sestrum as it seems”
“citizens, it seems”, remove “as”
====
“You remember that Cass gave you the note in the class, stating that she wanted to show you something. What exactly that would be, you don’t know, but you said that you have time. Dealing her number through your coil, you leave a message to meet her at the bus station.”
Replace “dealing” with “dialing”
====
"Not only ten minutes later, you see your friend walking towards you. "
Would read better with “less than” in place of “Not only”
====
“Convenient stores,”
Should be Convenience
====
“Not even two minutes later walks an elderly, a bit corpulent woman up to your desk, holding a little notepad and a pen in her hands. On her name tag, you read ‘Judy Lancaster’.”
To make this sentence less awkward I would replace “Not even” with “Less than”, then move “walks” after “woman” and remove “a bit”
====
“Yesterday, I found a very interesting side in the web”
“Side” wants to be “site”
“in the” wants to be “on the”
====
“Anyway, on my way inside, I noticed that this side is some sort of hidden portal”
“side” wants to be “site” again.
====
“Cassandra puts down her drink, letting out a sigh and continues. You turn her attention towards the laptop.”
Should this be “You turn your attention”?
====
“So far, I found not out what exactly they are after, though it can’t be anything good if you ask me.”
I would replace “I found not” with “I haven’t found”
====
“The sun is streaming through the window and lets the old furniture seem to glow despite their rustical look.”
Would read better as
“The sun is streaming through the window casting a glow over the rustic old furniture.”
====
‘“Oh, also,” Looking back at Cassandra,’
Could flow better as “you turn back to”
====
“You are sure no expert in reading blueprints,”
Remove sure
====
“but you know how a cell looks like when you see one.”
Replace how with what
====
“and as far as I know, there is still enough space left and we don’t need another prison around”
“and we don’t” wants to be “so we don’t”
====
'Over the chattering of the other people around you, she calls, “Till tomorrow!”. ’
I would replace “till” with “see you”
====
“Nodding, you call, “See you!”, though before”
I would add “start to” between “you” and “call”
====
“their wings all of a suddenly as loud as drums.”
“suddenly” wants to be “sudden”
1 Like
@Terrell_Williams
Found the problem and is now ‘fixed’. Took out the park for now to solve the problem…
Thank you for telling me!
@LordOfLA
Thank you very much!
The mistakes are now fixed and an updated version uploaded.
One day I am going to hire you as my Mistake-Finder
I’m still in the loop
Weird…
I uploaded a new one. I think I had a coding error and that it always send you back to the library for some reason…
Now you should have to choose the library and meet cass or the library and the café, depending on what you chose beforehand. Gosh, coding can be annoying sometimes…
Sorry for all this 
Hey after you meet ash, you forgot to put her and she. It’s the sentence where you haven’t seen her for awhile. And also theres a spelling eror when you pick the option to hang out with cassandra, you say you deal her up it’s suposed to be dial up.
Found a bug could not load sceen chapter2 file does not exist.
Hey there!
Thanks for telling me. I will take a look once I am back home and correct those mistakes.
About chapter2, it is true that there is nothing else afterwards. I will make it a bit “prettier”, so People won’t get the error message.
It’s really interesting but is it how is it because it’s the end of the demo or i made the wrong choice cause i get hit by a truck ^^’
Haha, Thank you very much 
And don’t worry, you did nothing wrong with the choices yet
The truck is supposed to happen, because now the ‘real’ story begins.
Everything else moved to be the prologue.
1 Like
Hey everyone ~
I uploaded a part of the next chapter.
With this, I am introducing three new Characters.
There are only two more left to introduce (so far), though they will come not in this chapter.
Are there any questions so far ? :3