Due to a family emergency, I will need to take some time away from the forums. If anyone has any feedback or comment, please feel free to continue leaving them on the thread. However, I might not be able to reply immediately or for some time. I apologize.
I am still hoping to release the update on Apr 19, however, this is now tentative, and I may have to scale down the size of this update if I do end up releasing it by the target date. I will post an update on my situation if/when I can.
Ok, after a difficult weekend, the family matter has been resolved. I’m thankful things still ended fairly well.
I’m way behind schedule as a result, but I still plan to release the update on Apr 19. This will be smaller than originally intended, just typos, bugfixes and some minor changes.
After this, I’m planning to work on a larger update to incorporate the rest of the feedback as well as to add an additional chapter. This will likely take place at an earlier part of the story. I’ve also noted that there aren’t enough healing checks in the story, which is something I’ll probably compensate for in this chapter and the rest of the game. I’m not sure how much more extra content I’m going to load on this project before it’s done. TBD, I suppose.
I’ll also release another round of itch analytics at the 30-day mark. (This Sunday)
@ChanceOfFire I have to agree with @deenabush9. I finished the game a few hours ago and I found it EXTREMELY distasteful that the MC is forced to side with the very people oppressing the MC and treating the MC like a second-class citizen if that. The outlaw mages faction certainly has its own issues but my MC would never side with “her” own oppressors. Being forced to find magebane and thus being used as a tool to oppress “her” fellow mages was bad enough but even at the end negotations?
The sidequests seemed to almost entirely side with the Guardian Order and the MC’s oppressors so my MC only bothered doing the sidequest to help a fellow mage (Was that Ari the Younger?). That sidequest was interesting for mentioning leaving Seraphine for a land where mages are not oppressed but nothing came of that (unless it was referring to the outlaw mages).
I would have preferred an option to address “Uncle” Hawthorne as “Lord Hawthorne” once the MC learns the truth. He has never been the MC’s uncle and the fact that he robbed the MC of “her” mother and then disowned the MC has cost him any chance of the MC treating him as a father.
My MC would also not be happy with the MC’s mother for betraying the MC by abandoning the MC and consigning the MC to be oppressed and disinherited. No hugs for the MC’s mother for those reasons.
I would have to agree with @forestnymph on this. If the MC were no longer gender-locked, I did not see any place where the plot would need to be changed at all.
I only saw the game art after a full playthrough so I made my cat a black cat because… witches and black cats…
Regarding the main RO options:
The MC has known Sofie and Gaius for years so I was fine with the timing of the possibility to become affectionate.
A Guardian is not better at protecting mages from peasants than the mages themselves would be. That means Gaius is the MC’s jailor however polite about it he may be but it does rule him out as far my MC is concerned.
When given the option to pick between Sofie and Gaius (or between Mystria and Elbrus), I would have liked an option to pick no one.
Mystria and Elbrus are basically strangers to the MC at the start notwithstanding that they are from the faction my MC would pick if given a Choice. Still I feel it does mean that a romance with Mystria or Elbrus needs more buildup because it has less backstory.
Once the MC knows about Eterna, I would have liked the option to search the forest using the MC’s senses for more of it rather than passively waiting. If the MC can sense and find more, then the MC could try making potions with it.
Agreed. I was predicting that this would come up when I cut the original three branches into one, where you could side with one faction completely and wipe out the other, or take the neutral route.
I understand where you’re coming from, so I’ll just be upfront and say that it was something I cut due to time constraints. It’s on a list of things I want to add in subsequent revisions, but it will largely depend on my time and forum interest.
I’m planning on adding two additional sidequests with Lucette and Spiralkeep. These will be unlocked at the appropriate time in the plot when complete.
I’m also considering writing in more ways for the MC to react to the news, and subsequent developments. Although her mother technically had no control over what happened to the MC after she fell asleep.
Fair. I got this feedback quite a bit. Are you more in the camp of “something which could be changed” or “something which should be changed”?
I’m planning to have a choice to specify your cat’s color. As for the game art… I’m not hiring a professional artist so my options are limited.
There is an option to decline to pick someone at the endgame, I believe. It does have somewhat less content, but the option is there.
Another additional chapter I want to add is The search for Eterna, which takes place after the endgame, and where the MC ventures out into the forest to unlock its secrets, and perhaps gain them for herself. The current plan is to do the bazaar chapter first, and see if there’s enough interest to support work on this next chapter.
Anyway, thanks again for the detailed thoughts. Rewriting the original three branches might not be something I can promise, but I’ll be working on some of the other points.
Thank you for replying. I’ll hope then that it makes the cut in subsequent revisions. Maybe the MC could have a Choice to deliberately “fail” to find magebane due to not wanting to harm fellow mages. If it makes the fight against Greywolf harder, then that would give the MC some things to think about.
That sounds good. I am curious as to the leadership structure of Spiralkeep. Specifically, how do leadership changes work there? I would say Spiralkeep is even more in need of changes than Seraphine and supplanting Lorne (perhaps after taking an Eterna potion) would solve a lot of problems. To quote part of a leadership challenge from a book series I like: “I find your rule lacking”.
The MC’s mother should have been well aware of how mages were treated and how her child would be treated but still chose not to help mages towards freedom. This is something that will have occurred to my MC. So no hugs for that mother.
I think I am more in the “something which could be changed” camp. Maybe using the magic mirror could also cover that. I can’t recall any other IF game where that level of appearance customization was available beyond that start. I couldn’t bring myself to use the mirror at Castle Alaire because I was worried it would count against the timer.
I did find the option to decline to propose marriage to anyone. If there was another earlier option to pick no one, then I missed that one.
That sounds interesting. I’ll hope for it and look forward to it.
Good point. Actually, this isn’t something I’ve personally thought out in detail yet. Might be a good topic for the next two sidequests.
Fair, now that I think about it.
Yep, it counts against the timer, but the mirror will also boost your stats outside story mode, so you’ll need to decide whether you want to sacrifice time for a stat boost.
Yep, that’s what I was talking about. The other scenes do force you to pick someone. Hmm… going it alone could be an option. I might need to review feedback on this part. (Anyone else has any thoughts?)
re: Mother topic - If she’s really that powerful, then she absolutely had a choice. She could’ve just burned down the entire system and kidnapped her husband and child and lived happily ever after as a fugitive like all the other mages at Spiralkeep. She chose not to.
Romance topic - Having the choice to pick neither Sofie or Gaius / Mystria or Elbrus would be so nice, especially if you think you’re going to pick a faction and want nothing to do with one or the other, considering they do not overlap at all. (Like I ended up romancing Gaius and Elbrus by accident and it would’ve been interesting to have that acknowledged or at least a moment where MC has to pick one over the other based on her values or goals.)
Faction Choice topic -
tbh I don’t find either side to be super compelling. Like, sorcerers want to take over and rule because they want to have the same or better rights than normal people, cool. Change who’s oppressed etc. I think I would be more inclined to pick that side if there had been more time spent in Spiralkeep or with Mysteria or Elbrus, but really there were just strangers asking me to basically commit crimes for… reasons that they don’t explain until late game.
On the other hand, the current system also sucks but it didn’t phase me much because… well, sorcer/ess might as well just mean woman. Treated like a second class citizen, can’t inherit titles, has to have a bodyguard to walk down the street… being a woman, essentially. Now, while Sophie is going to inherit, there’s no real evidence that this isn’t just a case of no male heirs or cousins. All the other lords are men who tend to enjoy having a wife on a leash? There is also the Queen, but there’s no mention of a King so she might just be ruler by default from widowing or never marrying. So the only meaningful reason I could think of for changing factions to Spiralkeep would be because… your MC wants to be the one in power instead, which… will almost always be the case unless you’re looking for a playthru where you’re just essentially someone’s pet.
I do find it funnily patronizing every time it’s mentioned that Gaius is there to protect you from the citizens. Like, MC is basically bringing a gun to a pillowfight and a guy with a knife to your throat is like “don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” (But honestly Gaius doesn’t even feel like a jailor. He should at least threaten/admonish MC once or twice about following rules because it really reads that he’s just cute and nice wallpaper.)
You’re right. She chose not to. But she is someone who feared the potential of unlimited power rather than trying to take advantage of it. That’s why she destroyed all samples of eterna and refused to divulge the recipe. She also accepted the arrangement as that was the only alternative to open conflict, which she didn’t want.
I see. I’ll need to think about how I could implement this though… That said, did you romance them accidentally? You don’t really get to romance anyone until you are offered the wedding bands, and from there, there’s also an explicit option to not romance anyone.
Sprialkeep could use more development, agreed. Although this game is already pretty big as is. I’m planning to add some additional content, which may or may not be enough to remedy this issue.
Unlike Dragon of Steelthorne, I didn’t write any gender-based inheritance into this universe. Sofie is able to inherit Hawthorne Manor without needing a husband or any male authority figure, as she’s a noble. Note that both men and women can become Guardians, just as both men and women can be magically gifted.
In Castle Alaire, Larissa occupies a secondary position to her husband, but that’s because she’s magically gifted and not because of her gender.
I believe I mentioned that Queen Alyss was widowed. I might need to check this again.
Gaius protecting you from the citizens was more in keeping their disdain away rather than protecting you from an exchange of actual fighting.
The idea behind the story was to explore living in an imperfect world which has disadvantaged the MC in some ways on the basis of her powers. However, it was meant to explore themes of forgiveness and making peace.
I’m not sure if I conveyed both factions well enough, But there is that. I could do a more detailed writeup on the themes I was trying to explore with each faction, but the overarching idea was about contrasts and opposites, where being a mage supposedly gave you power but also placed you in a weaker position.
Anyway, I do appreciate the insights and the thought you had given to this. I do admit that many things did not occur to me until my story was out in the wilds.
I personally don’t blame her for this choice, but @Norilinde had a good point about allowing MC to be mad at her for not picking the nuclear option out of love for her baby. It would also align with MCs who would potentially choose the Spiralkeep faction. Like, no one would have to make those choices if sorcerers were in charge, ra-ra!
I feel like anyone that I smooch under fireworks or a starry sky to be someone I’m seeking romance with. So, yeah, I do feel like I ended up romancing them both because I kissed them both (Elbrus by accident because I misunderstood the choice given). Kisses are usually indicators of romantic interest, while marriage would be the culmination of previous romantic overtures?
But yeah, I think having the choice to just spend party time by myself would be nice, especially if I dislike the two choices given. (This happened to me with Mysteria and Elbrus. I was scared of interacting with Mysteria too much in case there was a tracking stat on her and it would assume romantic interest, but then I also couldn’t avoid Elbrus who isn’t interesting until after they steal from the castle.)
I think in the end, it wasn’t obvious that there wasn’t any gender bias because, while there are female Guardians, I can only recall the one… that starts with an R? Who will never go up the ranks because she’s both poor and in a relationship with a sorceress, so she’s technically not operating from a position of power, either.
Larissa’s entire arc was specifically pointing out non-inheritance of sorcerers rather than gender bias, so her example doesn’t lend into the assumption that there isn’t a male coded bias and rather they’re just desperate for a kid without magic.
The Queen was given like, 2 minutes of screen time and all I really remember about her is that she might have ridden on a broom before.
There’s a lot of plausible reasoning to assume that it is a gender-based inheritance if only for the lack of powerful female figures who are not: the only child, widowed, or magical.
This happens to me a lot, too. Having fresh eyes sometimes helps!
The MC’s mother was perfectly willing to threaten to destroy her fellow mages. She is a traitor to her own kind and her own child. She could just as easily have threatened the Guardian Order on behalf of her fellow mages but she chose not to.
I too would consider the options to be “affectionate” as romancing them and those options appear the first time you pick to spend time with that character.
It still feels like a blatant lie. I’m pretty sure a mage could encourage people to keep their distance more effectively than someone with a sword. I was wondering whether despite the Guardian Order’s official stance discouraging Guardian and mage romances, maybe the Guardian Order actually prefers that outcome as a way to keep mages from rebelling. It worked for the MC’s mother and Larissa.
Generally, forgiveness comes after people stop wronging each other, not while the wrongs are still ongoing.
In this case, the wrongs never stop and the “peace” outcome is a worse outcome than open conflict because nothing actually improves. The negotiations fail to end any of the wrongs and only delay resumption of open conflict while continuing oppression.
While I would not object to additional background information, I feel the positions of both factions were clear. The MC deciding that open conflict which ends decisively and quickly is preferable to the status quo continuing indefinitely seems an entirely reasonable decision for the MC.
Was that Ria? She was the only female Guardian I recall and I had forgotten if she was in a relationship with a mage.
Yes! That was her name. You only find out that information if you do the side quest where you do a favor for a friend of Gaius. You set out to help Ria mend her relationship with her lover/sorceress charge after they have a fight.
After some thought, I see your points about being made to engage in romance actions. Yep, I’m now planning to rewrite some of the scenes such that the MC has the choice to engage in the romancing or decline it. I admit it wasn’t apparent to me at first glance.
Bringing back the original three ending paths where you can side with one faction completely is still on my todo list, although I won’t be able to promise this one as it will be huge in word count, and will depend on how much longer I want to work on this project before sending it off to HG. (I’m not planning to submit it anytime soon, but I’m also not sure of the actual timeline.) I would also like to do this as well, and I see the storyline and motive reasoning for it, but I’ll need to see if I’m eventually able to budget the time for it.
I’ve updated the game. Unfortunately, this was just typos and bugfixes. I will be honest, between the recent family emergency and personal stress over the current economic/political situation, my morale hasn’t been great over the last few weeks. Still, I’m trying to regain my writing momentum for the coming weeks.
I’m planning to bundle the larger feedback changes with the next update, A Night at the Great Bazaar, where you take the time to buy some interesting gifts for your companions at the bazaar, as well as meet a sorceress gifted with dreamwalking. As far as release dates go, I’m planning for sometime in Q3 this year. Still, I won’t be able to promise a punctual release as RL is looking bumpy for plenty of people (perhaps including myself) this year.
(For the record, you are free to ask me about updates or ‘when is it coming out’. I’m personally fine with questions like that. However, understand that I may or may not have an answer.)
Anyway, if anyone has any thoughts/questions/opinions, feel free to drop them here. I try to be an open book.
So, yeah, I do feel like I ended up romancing them both because I kissed them both (Elbrus by accident because I misunderstood the choice given). Kisses are usually indicators of romantic interest, while marriage would be the culmination of previous romantic overtures?