
Fixed my queen ![]()
And I hope that your previous proplem with pronouns is solved
@Death_Lord yes thank you, the pronoun issue is no longer an issue.
I hope that you will not make the MC a bland black-or-white character. Like their actions can only be defined as “good” or “evil”. Best example if this is The Lost Heir trilogy. Good MCs cannot become dark knight because they are not evil enough. I just wish that your MC will not become like that. It’s not really interesting if they can only be defined as classic good guy-bad guy character because there’s no complexity in them.
More importantly, have you planned the ROs?
Of course not my king, As your majesty can see I have six personality stats and good/evil stat is the seventh which means that your MC can be described by different 12 adjectives besides good or evil .
Also my plan for the personality stats for now is to affect how people look at you or how will they address you and I may use them as a condition for some parts but I won’t ask for a certain level so don’t worry
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I love lost heir trilogy but I understand what you mean (I played 13 playthroughs trying to be a black knight ) and don’t forget that we are talking about a game that was puplished on 2015 personality stats weren’t so famous or admired or used like now.
Yes but they will appear gradually through the game and Mira will be the first of them.
Good my servant. Might as well add poly later. Do as I command peasant🤣
Call me an emperor pathetic king ![]()
Although you didn’t tell how did you find the game so far my king ![]()
Slow down my king you are only 17 ![]()
I can say the plot is interesting. I love medieval theme after all and, the MC having the ability to become dragonoid is really cool. I’m not gonna yap about grammar mistakes tho since I s*ck at those as well.
At first I thought you’re being fast with the first scene then I realised it’s only a prologue.
Yeah, I expected that some people will say that I may expand it later .
I thought it would be more interesting and mysterious rather than a basic start as the baby king in the village.
Will we get older as the story progresses? as in turn 18 and onwards?
Of course and as a draconic princess you will live a very long life ![]()
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just in case you didn’t get yourself killed ![]()
this queen plans to live a very long life indeed ![]()
I was enjoying the tavern bit a lot!
The memory moment, ‘your husband’ caused me to immediately shut down and close the book. I was invested until I read that.
Who’s pov is that? Can’t be the MCs as posted in and out, don’t know about being royalty if I recall.
If its one of the parents, the POV really needs declared. Plus, if it is mothers. I would skip through and ignore it. If its MC, really odd about not knowing but knowing? My understanding was we fled as a kid. I can’t continue that scene because ‘husband’.
Second part of this, this is hetero only then?
Why would your husband force you to close the book? ![]()
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-Edit: did you get mad because you thought I am forcing this relationship on you? ![]()
If that’s it I will never do something like that not now not ever.
If you could just continue reading my dear future monarch of Dracia you would have understood.
Of course it’s the mother’s pov.
I am really with you on that but I couldn’t declare the pov directly because I shifted between the father and the mother in an understandable and clear way for the reader you just judged the scene very quickly.
I apologize if that word offended you, but I encourage you to keep reading. At this point, the MC is just a baby with no role in the scene.
Take my word for it: I will never force anyone into anything or lock any player into a path without offering choices that suit their preferences, especially when it comes to romance or gender options.
But how was I supposed to get a child from the royal lineage without this kind of marriage ?
Lastly I would like really to thank you ![]()
This is the most criticizing post I have seen so far and I promise to think for a solution.
I would then either post, Parents PoV or use third person? I did exit to quickly.
Thanks for part 2 answer. The parents aren’t me and thus will be ok to whatever they did.
I will check back in a moment after going through again.
I caught your one post. If want an idea how I completed those you got inspiration from?
Lost Heir the mage secretly used magic to make one Queen pregnant. Depending on wife background. The first time (uncompleted story) was the thief as a wife and I carried. The second (completed) was the cooks daughter and she carried. There was a Captain and don’t recall it well to say much on that one. I know I completed but can’t remember who carried. All of them was mage interventions.
War of the West, I prefer sacrifice only. First run, the only woman I thought could romance, betrayed me, turned me into an incubator. Thus I make sure my 2nd, 3rd and 4th were. Slaughter everyone! And Die on the sword in battle two different ways! (Love that ending the most as I am pissed at my first run betrayal.)
Great Tournament being men only, didnt bother.
Edit to add…
Before parents PoV its written this way.
‘Should remember’
Then hit next screen to
‘Years ago’
The should remember might of been the weird part. Instead of ‘should remember’ change to ‘go to rest for the night’? Following Years Ago after should remember might of caused disconnection at start. Like it was me remembering instead. I am aware Should remember is to lead into Chapter 1 introduction now.
I wonder if removing parents scene is better idea or put them in beginning instead. ![]()
It transitions to Chapter 1 should remember. But the Years ago is in between, making it, flow wrong then? Idk. Doesn’t feel right somehow. Chapter 1 also applied 10 years later. So that isn’t, should remember follow up.
I believe what I wrote. “Laid to sleep” instead of “should remember” may fix the chronological conundrum. Most people will be aware of the time few won’t
Believe it or not I expected to hear about this problem but when no one complained I thought it was clear enough.
But here’s the solution how about I set The mc at specific age at the start then add let’s say 50 years ago which means your age is zero then we continue would that be good
Not a good idea it gave you an indication to where are you living now and I will use Radmar and uruk (which you will know about if you continued )later so I prefer for the reader to understand who are them Also near future events are based on what happened in this night.
Shortly removing 2.5k words will cause a lot of pain for every one my monarch especially me ![]()
Understood will think about it
That last bit basically curtails the rest mentioned honestly. Best and easiest solution laid to sleep/rest. That avoids needing to change anything else. Some people will get lost on time jumping around otherwise.
Got into Chapter 1.
New issue: 4 days will be at ruins
4 weeks to visit locations.
Is the days wrong or weeks wrong?
Edit:
Something wrong with Merchant “months” vs “weeks”. When chose merchant with 3 weeks to go yet, it states a month ago I made a promise to go with Mira and her father. Its been only a week.
Maybe Merchant should indicate last stop, 4th week?
Hold on what merchant you mean the market
The market problem is solved and I won’t add a single word to the files unless I solve your problem my monarch consider it a promise
Doesn’t click with me there will still be a connection issue I think I may define the parents better and change" should remember" to something like the
" past should be unraveled "or something like that.
It’s either that or I will send the whole assassins’ guild after your royal head since you are the only one complaining about this problem.
*Yes killing the problem early what a perfect solution for a phsyco emperor like me *
Edit:
I rewrote the last parts of the tavern and the and the first part of the parents scene to be more clear that this isn’t the mc but his parents pease tell me what you think my monarch before it’s too late ![]()
Sorry was busy. Will check. Time jump is fine but without marking PoV switches would become an issue for several eventually.
The selection is Mira states 4 days to join her father on an outing. Before the choices it showed weeks.
Week 1 was to the hut.
I had 3 left.
I chose market.
It immediately erased all time left and jumped to
0 weeks i suppose. Me, gathering things from market for a trip I promised a month ago.
I lost 3 weeks without other options.
Edit cant due to “pronoun something fault”
