On topic: would you rather have a mini fight scene and then go to your dorm or go straight to your dorm and have a mini fight scene later? >>
Mini fight before going to the dorm so you character has an idea as to what they have just gotten into.
iām alright with a mini-fight before going to the dorm. I would have been reluctant to be in a fight if we had our luggage.
'Bout to start this, itās right up my alley, and it looks so promising!
Hope you like it!
And for anyone wondering whatās going on in my life, Iām down to my last three weeks of school. Aka all the final papers, projects, and tests are hitting me now. Hoping for summertime to work on this.
My initial gut feeling was right-- it IS promising! Iāll definitely be keeping an eye out for more of this, I appreciate the way youāve crafted the introduction the most. And Babdās pretty creepy, but intriguing!
Also helps that I call my own cousins ācuzā in real life as well, hahah.
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Those of you with sharp eyes might have noticed that I made a small update last night. >>
Sorry for the delay all- thought my summer would consist of me sitting around doing almost nothing (turns out I was wrong!). I just got back from a trip to Mexico and wanted to have at least a little progress on Rider. As always, please let me know your thoughts, especially if you spot something spelled wrong, want to see something added in, or think something should be changed, please please please tell me! I promise I donāt bite (hard).
In other news, while I was in Mexico, I went face hunting. Okayā¦that sounds weird, but I mean I tried to find people that look more or less how I envisioned the cast. They arenāt perfect and things are still up for change but here you go.
Talia - Joseph - Ricki - Cruz - Xiaoli - Haruka - Vanessa - Taca - Mira - Arturo - Juliette - Kent - Themba
(Badb?)
Ooh, this is good, and pretty funny. And an interesting concept. I was actually diappointed when it ended, so Iām looking forward to more.
Those are some great face finds, by the way. Ricki tho.
Welcome back! All the guys are cute (especially Taca and Arturoā¦)
She takes two steps forward, closer to you, green eyes continuing to stare into your green ones.
It might be better to have slightly different text for MCs with green eyes (āyour own green onesā perhaps?)
She pauses, irish green eyes flickering with newfound energy, and dare you say it, a great deal of excitement.
āIrishā should be capitalised. (And I think it flows better as āgreen Irishā.)
Otherwise, everything looks good.
I think for me itās Cruz and Arturo. By the way Cruz seems to be Santiago from Children of the Gods in disguise.
Dun Dunn Duuhhhhnnnnnnnn
There seems to be a lot of WIPās based on going to magic wizarding schools, especially when the essential storyline involves heavily on the use or influence of magic/magic users.
I mean no offense to those who prefence this, nor to the creator, but Iām just noting an observation, which kinda had me wishing for a little for variety and more of a sense of originality to it, if you truly wish to continue with the storyline
Other than that, the demo itself is decent, with a few grammical errors, nothing to major.
Well there was a Heroes kick for a while, and the demon one before this. We have fads it will pass.
Hey there, good to see you back.
That Badb woman is kinda creepy, as intended
Just wanted to point out that it might be better to start speeches of a new speaker in a new paragraph. Less confusion, that way.
Keep up the good work XD
Aww, Iām so happy right now.
Oooh, good catch, Parrot! Thank you and Iām glad you appreciate the guys, hehe.
Well, I canāt speak for other writers, but for myself, fantasy is my favorite genre. I like sci-fi as well, but anything to do with magic is my fave. I grew up on Harry Potter like many others and I would love to attend a magic school if they were real. XD
As to originality, I hope having a winged horse as your partner is original enough. In all honesty, the MC will only be spending their nights and weekends at the University, otherwise they will be in Naos (the magic world). Riders believe in a hands-on learning experience so you donāt have to worry about being stuck in a classroom and listening to a lecture all day.
Good point with the dialogue! Iāll keep that in mind when I refine everything (again).
Alright, my dad is helping me work on the storyās setting as I have a tendency to make incredibly complex worlds. I want to ensure thereās no plot holes. >>
Iād say that the setting already feels somewhat distinct from the other WIPs (mainly due to Babd), but even if the settings and themes are similar, as long as you keep the story distinct, then there shouldnāt be any problems (although obviously a distinct setting and theme would be even better).
Just a question, are mc can have pet?
Yes! Iām planning to include a pet or two. Havenāt decided how I want to do it yet, but for sure you will have a chance to get a pet.