Rider (New WIP)

Will you at least be able to get dragon companions

Aaaaaah! That’s the end of the demo?? >~< oh man, just when I was really getting into the story…
Anyways, I really love how much thought it seems you’ve put into building this world and the lore behind it!! I appreciate big heapings of magic and magical creatures :smile:
I adore your writing style, too; it’s the kind that’s just so natural and easygoing- which is often hard to find.
Really looking forward to future updates !! ^^

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Yes they are! Hence “partners” and they will be very offended should anyone call them a “steed.” XD The name “Thysosi” is actually based off the Greek word for sacrifice, the Thysosi being pegasi who have “sacrificed” their lives to serve the Gods by entering the Rider Corps. Oh, and Pegasi have their own telepathic form of communication which make them incredibly valuable to the Gods as only Pegasi and their bonded partners can understand and use this system of communication. Hmmm, maybe I should give it a name: Peglish? Lol. So if a telepath were to attempt to read the mind of a Pegasus or their partner, and they strictly think in…Peglish (omg, please help me come up with a real name!), they would get absolutely nothing.

Dragons can be your friends! I might also let you have a drake as a pet, aka mini non-sentient dragon!

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Little update for you guys. Mostly refining things, but added a touch more so you’re not so much on a cliffhanger. :heart:

Edit: Ugh, I’m in bed and need to sleep now, but noticing spelling/grammar errors already. -dying- Those will get fixed, eventually.

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we get to kiss the old lady leering at our cousin! cool. :wink:

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So peglish (I don’t have a better name) is it words or is it similar to how the dragons in the Inheritance series communicate ie using the five senses?

Ugh, it’s been so long since I read the Inheritance series that I can’t compare exactly, but I get the idea.

“Peglish” is normally limited to word-thoughts and images only due to the individuality of each mind along with any strong emotions that get passed along with them. However, Riders and Thysosi are magically linked to each other, and as a result, have a shared mental space, so anything and everything can be shared between each pair.

Attunement is a big deal in the Rider Corps. “Two bodies, one mind.” Of course, even the most attuned pairs still get into fights sometimes, lol.

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Haha, I was actually just wondering what happened to Terra. I’ve enjoyed both of your previous WiPs, and it seems like I will enjoy this one as well!

All I ask is don’t dash my hopes and dreams by not finishing this one either! :sweat_smile:

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Again, I swear, feel free to brick me whenever I start to go off track. XD

Right now, I am working on actually getting you into the school and letting you ask some questions that may or may not be answered by our lovely old woman (teehee). Out of curiosity, anyone think they know who she is yet? O-o

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Is she actually a cute guy in disguise? On second thoughts, I probably wouldn’t want to romance a guy who disguised himself like that…

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…so tempted right now. (Bad Leo). A thought for the future maybe, haha. No, she’s a goddess, but one who isn’t necessarily always old. :slight_smile:

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Thysos being stubborn
Rider thinking: what an ass

Shared mind is probably what gets them into fights in the first place XD

So the minds are shared completely? No secrets, right?[quote=“Leopardmoon, post:29, topic:21310”]
ask some questions
[/quote]

“Why were you oogling at my cousin?”
XD

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[quote=“UmbraLamia, post:32, topic:21310, full:true”]
Thysos being stubborn
Rider thinking: what an ass

Shared mind is probably what gets them into fights in the first place XD

So the minds are shared completely? No secrets, right?[/quote]

Lol, that is totally possible. Cue mental battle until both parties retreat to stew for a while. :stuck_out_tongue:

Ah, not quite. They have a shared mental space, yes, but they can also build private spaces for themselves in which they can hide away their secrets, etc. Normally these spaces develop naturally as a way to keep a pair’s thoughts and feelings from overwhelming each other. However, those spaces are not meant for long term containment so things have a tendency to “leak” out over time. Good news: you can keep the surprise birthday party a surprise. Bad news: but only for a day or two at most, so better make it quick!

Hmm, should I include that as a question? ^^ Well, I’ll put the answer here just in case: one, she’s assessing him as a potential threat to security, two, she’s not always an ugly old hag and unmarried goddesses like to have flings (even with little mortals).

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its depend on the reason why he disguised himself like that… if the reason is inevitable, i guess its okay. but if the reason is because he like it and there is no other reason. i wouldn’t want to romance him either.

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What a great start! It flowed really well, and I enjoyed the humor and lighthearted language. Looking forward to more :slight_smile:

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Its really short. Is there anymore or do i just have to wait? If there is more id like to know it seems good from what i can see.

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You probably have to wait as the rest of us. :slight_smile:

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Okay, I really wanted to have at least a small update for the new year, so here you go! Link is still the same, it really is just a small update, but figuring out the code for hair colors took me longer than I thought it would. XD

Love, Leo

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Update! Never thought you will also describe mc appearance that detail :thinking: and why i have bad feeling about this narcissistic guy?

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Your haircolor codes for dyed hair’s natural colour can be shortened:

However, your natural hair color is quite different, being:
*choice
    *if (haircolor != "black")
	    #Black in color.
		  *set danehair "black"
		  Dane's still natural dark strands complement his ${skintone} skin quite nicely.
		  *goto eyecheck
	*if (haircolor != "brown")
		#Brown in color.
		  *set danehair "brown"
		  Dane's still natural chocolate brown strands complement his ${skintone} skin quite nicely.
		  *goto eyecheck
	*if (haircolor != "red")
		#Red in color.
		  *set danehair "red"
		  Dane's still natural bright red strands stand out against his ${skintone} skin quite nicely.
		  *goto eyecheck
	*if (haircolor != "blonde")
		#Blonde in color.
		  *set danehair "blonde"
		  Dane's still natural light strands complement his ${skintone} skin quite nicely.
		  *goto eyecheck
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