Finally got a chance to read the update, and I loved it! Cannot wait for more!
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It is good, but the scene transitions were especially rough this time around. With no acknowledgement of a change of location, the reader has to play catch up fast. Enough to get a bit of whiplash, it felt like.
In the chip scene it made a measure of sense since that’s how it was before, but when going from one part of the city to another, to literally exiting an active conversation with a character unacknowledged enough to make me question where the rest of it is, this latest addition could do with a few minor touch ups. Even just a “it’s time to go” type line would suffice for signalling we’re moving forward to a new place, or finding a way to slip in that we’re starting in the middle of a in-progress conversation would help.
It’s not often a story loses me on scene-to-scene shifts, but it shouldn’t need all that much to make it a smoother reading experience. 
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Just read your WIP and am absolutely in love with it! I really enjoy your writing style: You are very talented when it comes to conveying the feeling of the dangerous city and living as a merc - it’s very immersive!
I was very surprised by how much I enjoy the characters. They all seem very multifaceted and realistic, so I quickly grew to like all of them. Makes it surprisingly difficult to settle for a final RO too, haha. Especially enjoy the dynamic with Jax and Dante, so for now I’m doing both (though all the RO have a lot of potential and interesting unique dynamics, I explored a few of their romance choices too, before returning to my last safe).
I like the customization possibilities for the merc and really like that we got to pick a vice. I like the snarky remarks and the atmosphere allows me to enjoy picking bolder dialogue options: in other games I usually play more of a Diplomat and tend to act more … let’s call it cowardly, but in this story it all feels very natural to me. Kudos to you for that!
I’m already exited to read more and love the pacing: there is always something interesting happening. I enjoyed every single scene so far!
And now: a few typos I discovered.
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Very interesting story and great characters, one thing i will say is the use of “hers” is often used instead of “her” which sometimes makes sentences confusing, otherwise its great
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thanks for letting me know! will look into it
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Orla had been clear in her instructions. You can’t afford another mistake.
chapter 005.
- adopt a dog!
- realize there’s people gunning for your head! (literally)
- give echo a crisis for once
- have a chat with orla. or two.
- try to uncover the mystery that is dante/delilah
and fail </3
general info.
- changes to relationship stats have been made: once you choose 5 [
] romance options, the code will recognize it as you choosing a romance path and will allow for different flavour text and the ROs initiating romantic moments since interest has been made clear - that doesn’t mean that you’re locked out of other routes!
- choosing 3 [] options during the poly route between jax, orla and merc, now means that you’re interested in pursuing that route as well
- hidden stats keep track of bold and shy romantic options. choosing one or the other 3 different times throughout a single route means you’ll have flavour text that recognizes the merc’s personality while perusing that RO
- the relationship stats visible refer to the general closeness of the merc and a certain RO and will come into play later
- scenes change depending on the disturbed/sane and merciful/ruthless stats throughout the chapter
- the prosthetics options are now available without choosing to have a hand prosthetic and the code has been overhauled in the prologue and throughout the other chapters
- a new choice and text has appeared in the prologue where you now decide on chest details of your merc
- a new stat has been implemented - obedient/defiant to keep track of how merc operates while on jobs with clear orders
- all saves are broken! please start a new game as a lot of the code has changed
progress.
- 192k → 267k (+ 75k)
play demo.
any mistakes spotted will be fixed throughout the next days/weeks, as I’m fairly sick right now.
49 Likes
We all cheered!! Thank you for your hard work, I can’t wait to bull my beloved Jaxie 
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I absolutely love this IF and was super excited when I saw the update notification. Just played it 4 times
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This update was awesome as usual! Cannot wait for more!
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“Tell me when you’re done. I’ll get you in touch with Daisy.”
“Daisy?”
“One of my girls.” She smiles slightly, almost fond. “She’s a Viper.”
A Viper among her dancers.
What else does she have up her sleeve? How does she know she can trust her? What happens if she can’t?
You don’t ask any of it. Try to remember if anyone mentioned a Daisy among the staff when you were around. If the name came up somewhere. It doesn’t ring a bell beyond the flower. Soft white petals surrounding a yellow center. You never saw them in person, but there’s been books. The occasional quick search of things that rattled around your brain you should remember but simply don’t.
This part is really immersion breaking for MCs named Daisy. I wouldn’t nitpick on it if it was just a mention but the last paragraph spending time talking about how they’ve never heard of the name Daisy is… yeah.
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I see
Yeah this is always awkward if books dont do some flavour text if another character has the same name as MC. Hope something can be add for the sake of all Daisys! 
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My nick name is Kay. Not for this story, but for another. Gotta make certain I know which Kay they refer to. At work there are three people with same names. Most know who is being talked about very quickly, as do to positions and areas. They also purposefully confuse few times for fun.
Just to make you aware, Dashingdon hosting will be closing soon so I would recommend moving this to cogdemos or uploading a compiled html file:
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I’ve officially moved the demo to CoGDemos! The link in the introduction has been updated and you can now play the demo here.
Minor changes have been made and I’ve implemented the choice to skip ahead to Chapter 005 to make navigating the game easier as it grows.
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I think you need to start fresh bc I changed the code from prosthetics to augmentations with the switch to CoGDemos and it works fine
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this was a restart but i’ll try deleting my cache and trying again, i know the new cogdemos switch thing has a few problems like this
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No i’m getting the same error messages again, not sure what thats about
I’m so confused why it works smoothly for some but I’ll reupload the files to see if your issue persists 
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